Coli ladies - how do I politely keep a woman at bay in the workplace?

[Professor Emeritus]

So I get back to the office for the first time in five months (I was out on assignment abroad), and there's this new girl in the office that's been assigned to me as my project partner. She's very attractive, ten years younger than me, and just finished med school.

Then, when nearly everyone else on our floor is in a shared workspace, I find out that the two of us have been assigned our own office. So she's in there briefing me on what's been going on in the office and the event we have to prepare, and she starts flirting with me right off the bat.

She's pretty and she's pleasant and she's educated, but I ain't even about to cheat on my wife. (Truth be told, I've already gotten to know the woman enough that I can tell we'd be incompatible even if I was available.)

Here's the problem. I've run into the situation before, and it never goes well. Usually I just play dumb until she gets too overt about it, and then I make very clear that I'm completely off limits. Every time that's happened, the young woman has gotten bytchy as hell and its ruined the workplace relationship, usually to the point where she ain't even talking to me.

So now that I can see this coming on the horizon, what do I do about it? How do I let this girl know that I ain't about that workplace cheating life without pissing her off to the point that I can't work effectively with her anymore?

 

[live it to the limit]

Tell her flat out, I don't cheat and even if I did I wouldn't shyt were I worked. And record the conversation

 

[Raava]

How exactly is she flirting?

 

[Professor Emeritus]

Tell her flat out, I don't cheat and even if I did I wouldn't shyt were I worked. And record the conversation

See, the problem is that's the kind of shyt that would get her to turn on me. And I'd rather make this work, because 3/4 of my office is a fukking pain to work with and I don't want to have to get a new partner.

How exactly is she flirting?

Mostly just a lot of subtle nonverbal cues...except that when she was telling me about her hometown, she went off a little too cutely about how nice a spot it was and how I really needed to visit it with her sometime.

I responded by making a positive comment about my wife 3-4 times in the next hour, just so she got the hint that I am a very very married man. She didn't do anything overt after that, but I want to be prepared.

 

[Raava]

See, the problem is that's the kind of shyt that would get her to turn on me. And I'd rather make this work, because 3/4 of my office is a fukking pain to work with and I don't want to have to get a new partner.





Mostly just a lot of subtle nonverbal cues...except that when she was telling me about her hometown, she went off a little too cutely about how nice a spot it was and how I really needed to visit it with her sometime.

I responded by making a positive comment about my wife 3-4 times in the next hour, just so she got the hint that I am a very very married man. She didn't do anything overt after that, but I want to be prepared.

How did you respond to her saying you should visit with her sometimes? If you would have said something like you and your wife would like to see the place, she would get it. If you just laughed it off, its not clear.

She might have gotten the hint from you bringing up yourwife so much and so positively. But you have to be clear and firm about it. She is reading you, eveytime she says something to you like that should bring up your wife. If she does something blatant then just politely tell her you are married and faithful. Record the convo and document if she continues.

You can't control how people take things like that. People get sensitive when you are just trying to be upfront. So just keep your records and be clear.

 

[wickedsm]

slap the big wedding pic on your desk. Kids pics too if you got him.

is anybody in the office already cheating? i would talk about them like
"Damn. i cant believe Bob is cheating on his wife. Thats disgusting. I would never do that.
And Sheila has made me lose all respect for her for sleeping with a married man. Neither one of them have any morals at all. On top of that they are risking their livelyhood and employment!

whatever you do i would keep track take notes document document document just in case this one is a bunny boiler.

Good luck OP/

 

[Giselle]

So I get back to the office for the first time in five months (I was out on assignment abroad), and there's this new girl in the office that's been assigned to me as my project partner. She's very attractive, ten years younger than me, and just finished med school.

Then, when nearly everyone else on our floor is in a shared workspace, I find out that the two of us have been assigned our own office. So she's in there briefing me on what's been going on in the office and the event we have to prepare, and she starts flirting with me right off the bat.

She's pretty and she's pleasant and she's educated, but I ain't even about to cheat on my wife. (Truth be told, I've already gotten to know the woman enough that I can tell we'd be incompatible even if I was available.)

Here's the problem. I've run into the situation before, and it never goes well. Usually I just play dumb until she gets too overt about it, and then I make very clear that I'm completely off limits. Every time that's happened, the young woman has gotten bytchy as hell and its ruined the workplace relationship, usually to the point where she ain't even talking to me.

So now that I can see this coming on the horizon, what do I do about it? How do I let this girl know that I ain't about that workplace cheating life without pissing her off to the point that I can't work effectively with her anymore?

Ask to switch partners? Tell them why. If they say no and something happens and she ends up turning on you or does something to "destroy" you, then they'll know it wasn't your fault.

 

[Professor Emeritus]

How did you respond to her saying you should visit with her sometimes? If you would have said something like you and your wife would like to see the place, she would get it. If you just laughed it off, its not clear.

She might have gotten the hint from you bringing up yourwife so much and so positively. But you have to be clear and firm about it. She is reading you, eveytime she says something to you like that should bring up your wife. If she does something blatant then just politely tell her you are married and faithful. Record the convo and document if she continues.

You can't control how people take things like that. People get sensitive when you are just trying to be upfront. So just keep your records and be clear.

Thanks for all that Raedawn. Loud and clear.

And my first mention of my wife was directly in response to that statement, though I don't remember now exactly how I said it.

is anybody in the office already cheating? i would talk about them like
"Damn. i cant believe Bob is cheating on his wife. Thats disgusting. I would never do that.
And Sheila has made me lose all respect for her for sleeping with a married man. Neither one of them have any morals at all. On top of that they are risking their livelyhood and employment!

whatever you do i would keep track take notes document document document just in case this one is a bunny boiler.

Good luck OP/

Thanks wickedsm!

And no way to know about cheating in the office, just because the office culture is tight-lipped as fukk. No one talks about shyt. Then again, that could be because I'm sort of new - I've been with them more than a year but until this week I'd been working almost exclusively in the field.

Ask to switch partners? Tell them why. If they say no and something happens and she ends up turning on you or does something to "destroy" you, then they'll know it wasn't your fault.

I'm not going to do her like that yet because it was the first day. And because she isn't as annoying as most people in the office. I'm giving her time to register my off-limits status. But you're right, that will be necessary if she pushes the issue.

 

[Milk N Cookies]

 

[Dwolf]

This may be the only gif you posted that I like.

 

[Milk N Cookies]

This may be the only gif you posted that I like.