Black woman says that’s wearing long straight hair is the only way to attract sophisticated black men

[HarlemHottie]

Wealth and status trickles up to whiteness. The closer you are to the white standard the more "in proximity" to wealth and status you will be. This has always been the case in America.

And elsewhere.

 

[Gloxina]

All these things are part of image so there probably is some kind of correlation. It goes both ways too though. I think I talked about how different people treat me based on my hair, especially women of different races. I do think that, with women, the difference is that they often factor their weight into what sort of hairstyle they will wear, especially if they are trying to make their faces appear slimmer and all that. That goes with confidence and so on, which is why I feel like her comments on hair styles solely may be off. The question would be, what was her weight or intended look with each hairstyle and so on.

Great points

 

[Firefly]

Always had a fetish for the bad thick chicks with blonde caesars. Maaaaaan listen.

 

[AllHolosEve]

I don’t know why dudes like to pretend. You aren’t taking me to the fundraiser with some jumbo box braids in my head, regardless of how pretty you think I am

-Pretty sure if I take you to a "Free Palestine" fundraiser tomorrow nobody gonna care & my job functions wouldn't either. Some men don't give a fukk regardless so I'm bringing without caring what people think.....

....If you bald you ain't comin though.

 

[V Skyye]

Niccas acting like I’m making shyt up
None of these “brehs” posting “dimes” with some obvious 4c hair. Except for that 1 thread for dark skin women. Aside from that all these random ass threads they make everyday?

GTFOH


Blaxk women know the exact “look” we need when you want a greater chance of attracting a certain caliber of man.

Shyt. Negros in my fam don’t date/marry nothing but black women but one ONE got with a dark skinned natural woman for his FIRST marriage. Rest of them ain’t swing around until after they got divorced from the light skinned wives who gave them hell

When I mentioned that women get BBLs because they notice the attention that “thick” women get, brehs told me women need to understand the difference between sexual attraction and real interest. So that would mean the woman who made the tweet was telling the truth, right? It’s always this weird need to debate something completely unnecessary. I’ve also said on here that a size 8 is head turning size in many areas. When I was bigger after I had my son I had so many men openly flirting and staring at my ass even wearing a wedding ring. One even followed me off the elevator going to work.

And back to hair. Women are definitely treated differently. And it’s not just romantically/sexually. It’s on all levels. I wear my hair mostly in a bun and sometimes a twist out. Black women usually compliment my hair when I twist it out. When I get a blow out the entire world stops. White people at work compliment me, as well as Black men and women. My sister gets a lot of compliments wearing her hair natural with twist outs and stuff. But her hair is really long, thick, and has a looser texture.

So I don’t know if the point of this thread was to cause this type of debate. Because the person who made the tweet didn’t say it’s the only way to get a successful man. Because successful men can be into any type of woman. She described what her weight/hair styles attract and there’s nothing controversial about that. Most men seem to navigate towards longer hair, softer hair, curly hair, and braids. Women live in the real world and know how people interact with them.

 

[Sonny Bonds]

I want to know what she means by “thicc”

 

[Shadow King]

I want to know what she means by “thicc”

Probably anything over a size 4

 

[BigMan]

I do.


Jumbo box braids was the example used because I was clearly being hyperbolic.


The point is as a brown skinned black woman I most definitely understand how it feels to be treated differently based on hairstyle.

It starts from junior high when some girls come to school with relaxers or pressed hair while others are still wearing plaits, cornrows, individuals or natural styles. In continues in high school when young men start choosing and, oddly enough, a loooooooot of young black men are drawn to the girls who are mixed, black with looser textures, or the young ladies who have already conformed to the western beauty standards that their own owns conformed to to “fit in” when finding employment in corporate America: pressed/relaxed hair and maybe some “tracks added for volume”.

Trust me. I’m grown and fully leaned into wearing my hair natural pre-pandemic and rocking braids and Senegalese twists during and post pandemic and my mother hates the sight of it because she never walked into any accounting firm during her career with natural hair because of how white folks treated black women who did.

My aunts in healthcare admin, HR, etc maintained relaxed/pressed hair for decades for the same reason. The only aunt rocking natural styles in the workplace before everyone else? The nurse in NYC who decided not to climb the corporate ladder like her siblings.

Things are changing NOW, but until you are a black woman who has had HBCU educated brehs in your fukking face telling that they are ok with relaxers when a girl’s hair is “too kinky” don’t say shyt.

The women before us had to deal with older brehs who wanted the “LS” - light skin, long hair girls. The “girls you can take swimming”.




Don’t attempt to gaslight women who actually live with these experiences.

I ask because all this sounds like projection and unprocessed childhood trauma respectfully.

I'm an attorney and a young millennial, my circle includes other attorneys, professionals, the type of men you guys say hate natural hair/dark skin women, etc. Our conferences, networking events, social events, galas, include black women (yes including dark skin) with all ranges of hair styles including weaves, relaxed hair, and yes box braids, faux locs, sister locs, short hair, etc. Most of very accomplished women in my field are natural and yes they have black husbands and aren't all light skin. Just law week, on linkedin i saw a bunch of my peers at a black attorney focused conference in the Caribbean and guess what hairstyle was predominant among the women

again respectfully, you aunts in healthcare admin/HR are not the same type of women at fundraisers or the professional circles that we are speaking about.

so yes, i call BS on your no man would take me to a fundraiser with box braids.

Niccas acting like I’m making shyt up
None of these “brehs” posting “dimes” with some obvious 4c hair. Except for that 1 thread for dark skin women. Aside from that all these random ass threads they make everyday?

GTFOH


Blaxk women know the exact “look” we need when you want a greater chance of attracting a certain caliber of man.

Shyt. Negros in my fam don’t date/marry nothing but black women but one ONE got with a dark skinned natural woman for his FIRST marriage. Rest of them ain’t swing around until after they got divorced from the light skinned wives who gave them hell

another example of projection

you're surrounded by men who only date/marry light skin women so you probably are using the dudes in college who rejected you and your family as proxies for all black men when in reality you don't have access to or are around the type of black men (upper income/educated/the type to go to fundraisers) you are talking about

at the end of the day, yes, lighter skin / certain hair types are considered more socially attractive and thus those women will have easier access to the type of men y'all say you want. but to act like black women can't only be light skin and have straight hair to have access to certain type of men or be in these social circles is cap and projection