Anybody NOT have a good relationship with their mother?

[Arris]

we love each other but we fight a lot we'll bump heads over the smallest thing and it gets tiring. I kinda shut down on her for a while in the past because I felt like every time we talked it would devolve into an argument.
but that's my mom yo I love her

 

[The Coochie Assassin]

My mother was physically, mentally, emotionally abusive growing up. Instead of lifting me up she would tear me down. She tore my family apart, didnt grow up with my sister for a good part of my youth cause she lived with cousins. Dad was gonna divorce but there was a good chance I would've went to her fulltime and he didnt want to chance that, so stuck through it. He's still miserable to this day. Moved out at 18 because of her and didnt talk for years. Began to talk when I got engaged, and admitted her parenting faults when I got divorced. Now we talk but after 30 mins, I cant stand her. Thinks she knows it all and loves to argue for the sake of arguing. She can be completely wrong and will argue to the death. You have one difference of opinion and she feels "attacked" Everyone in the family believes she has a chemical imbalance but she wont admit it or seek help. Even her own mother says she has ssues. So yeah, I basically just tolerate her. I've even questioned myself, and wondered if I would shed a tear when her time comes. Honestly I dont know. On the other hand, when my dad passes I know I'll be a mess.

Nicca do we have the same family? Outside of the pops part (dont kno mine like that), this is spot on to my relationship with my mother. Her father was bipolar so maybe that has passed on to her. I'm gonna try to get my mother to see a psychiatrist this year before its too late. My grandmother and her don't even talk anymore and they use me to send messages She has to get her life right and she won't be able to until her mental health improves My lil bro can't wait to come live with me this summer and get away from the drama in that house, I know what he going through

 

[JBoy]

Here's a few of the things I went through as a little kid:

1) She used to put shyt in my food and threaten me that if I didn't eat it all she'd beat me. So whatever she put in my food made me gag and throw up, and she sat there laughing hysterically and poking me in the head, while I was crying and vomiting all over myself and continuing to try and eat that food she tainted with something.

2) Used to beat the shyt out of me with any and everything she could get her hands on. Belts, cords, rolled up newspapers, shoes, you name it. It got to the point where she would make a sudden move and i'd flinch like I was about to get hit. She saw my reaction to this and found it funny, I think she got off on the power trip.

3) She used to stab me with utensils like forks and knives.

4) Used to cuss at me and take out all her frustrations on me verbally every day. Yelling, cussing, calling me all kinds of names non stop.

5) As I got older she could no longer harm me physically or anything like that so at one point she pulled a gun out on me. She used to start arguments with me on purpose when I was a teenager just so she could escalate them. Again it's like she got off on the power or drama of it all. She even called the cops on me one time because I cussed at her once, even though she pulled the burner out on me and cussed at me like 10000 times right beforehand.

So no I don't have a good relationship with my mom, and frankly don't care if she lives or dies.

So when someone has a bad relationship with their mom, don't assume that person is a bad person or in the wrong. You have no idea what that woman could have done to that person when they were growing up.

damn breh sorry you had to go through that

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

Growing up me and my mom weren't on the best terms. She kept putting men before me and straight up blew threw my social security checks that I had unknowingly been getting since my dad died when I was 6. Despite her flaws, she's always been hard on me and challenged me to work harder than I was comfortable. She made me do summer gifted classes when I didn't want to. She made me test for high school math classes when I was in middle school etc.

So I learned to take the good with the bad. It's weird, we have a MUCH better relationship now that I'm grown. She respects me and is proud of what I've accomplished, but I will say it still feels weird to say "I love you" to each other, because that is NOT how I grew up. My mom had me when she was 20 and we literally grew up together. I appreciate her and she's the only living relative I have that's above me in my family tree.

Now I say all that to say that I can completely understand how a person might not like their mother. In the black community it's so taboo to say anything bad about mom dukes but thru my personal experiences and what I've seen in other people's families I can understand how one can dislike their mom. Everybody's situation is different. I have a good friend whose mom was strung out on drugs and left her and her dad to raise her two sisters. Who am I to tell her how to feel about her mother?

 

[Gospel]

I kinda have fukked up relationships with both my parents. They split when I was in middle school, oldest sister already left. Other sister went with mom. Me and little brother stayed with Dad.

Pops was real strict. Religious and got physical.

Mom always played the passive aggressive user role. And she played favorites (IDC what she says me and the second sister, she never really acted like she cared for us..

I'm alot better with my dad. He's old so it's water under the bridge.

Mom....we've never been close and it might be worse than ever. Don't hate her or anything just finally realized we're never going to have that "bond" most people do with their mother.

She wants the priveledge that comes with being a mom, without putting in any of the work. And it's not all her fault. She came from a fukked up family in an abusive marriage.

And it's not all his fault. He came from an EVEN MORE fukked up family.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

This shyt really sucks. I used to leave for work to go to a job I ABSOLUTELY fukkING HATE and I would see her sitting there on the couch eating breakfast, enjoying food whenever she wanted, and watching cable without having to worry about working and paying bills and it would motivate me to go to that hellhole another day. It made me feel good. It really does bother me that she is going to be moving to some other place, around people she doesn't know, not being comfortable........it really fukks me up. Life fukking sucks brehs.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

I am EXTREMELY grateful for the fact that a lifetime of dealing with her has given me a mind composed of razor blades....

that damage though.

Them residual effects

They do have benefits as fukked up as it sounds. I grew up in a household and watched two women (my mom and sis) plot and scheme on dudes constantly. I saw all the games firsthand. So when I deal with women who try to play games I just laugh. I have a VERY good filter. A couple of my homies got jammed up tho. They had to learn the hard way.

 

[BrehWyatt]

My mom upsets/annoys me some times, and there's a few things that I wish she had done differently (for example, her shytty luck in relationships, which frankly runs in the family has made me jaded on what a relationship is supposed to be about) but all in all, she's one of my best friends, and goddamnit she tries her best to be there for me. I'll always love her for that.

 

[Jesus]

It's crazy that most of you single mother nikkas have great love for your mothers.

 

[swag2011]

Here's a few of the things I went through as a little kid:

1) She used to put shyt in my food and threaten me that if I didn't eat it all she'd beat me. So whatever she put in my food made me gag and throw up, and she sat there laughing hysterically and poking me in the head, while I was crying and vomiting all over myself and continuing to try and eat that food she tainted with something.

2) Used to beat the shyt out of me with any and everything she could get her hands on. Belts, cords, rolled up newspapers, shoes, you name it. It got to the point where she would make a sudden move and i'd flinch like I was about to get hit. She saw my reaction to this and found it funny, I think she got off on the power trip.

3) She used to stab me with utensils like forks and knives.

4) Used to cuss at me and take out all her frustrations on me verbally every day. Yelling, cussing, calling me all kinds of names non stop.

5) As I got older she could no longer harm me physically or anything like that so at one point she pulled a gun out on me. She used to start arguments with me on purpose when I was a teenager just so she could escalate them. Again it's like she got off on the power or drama of it all. She even called the cops on me one time because I cussed at her once, even though she pulled the burner out on me and cussed at me like 10000 times right beforehand.

So no I don't have a good relationship with my mom, and frankly don't care if she lives or dies.

So when someone has a bad relationship with their mom, don't assume that person is a bad person or in the wrong. You have no idea what that woman could have done to that person when they were growing up.

I competely cut my mother and father out of my life.

My parents got divorced when I was 4. They used to manipulate me against eachother. I'm sure others who've gone through divorce understand that. My father was a drunk, a drug addict an degenerate. Used to beat me, leave mealone in trap houses surrounded by junkies. When I was 12, an I can still remember every detail of this, my mother sat me down and handed me a newspaper article. It was about a woman being murdered and they had a suspect in custody. She asked me who i thought it was. My heart sank. I sheepishly said my dad? and she nodded. He was convicted and I havent spoken to him since.

For a long while I loved my mother with everything I had, no matter how withdrawn I had become. Even though that love was because she simply wasn't my father.

From ages 13-19 my mother remarried 3 times. Each one more abusive. She was so busytrying to find her own happiness she pretty much forgot I existed. Of course, I had been kicked out at 17 because I stomped out one of her husbands. She kicked me out that same day. She litrally chose that guy over me.

We kept a strained relationship going. She would degrade me every time we talked, tell me I'm just like my father and I'd end up just like him. Say whatever she could to hurt me. Eventually I gave up pretending she had ever been a good person. But, at point I needed help like most people do. I had nowhere to live. I moved in with her. After two weeks she didnt wan me there so she told me to leave but that I had to leave my stuff as payment for staying with her. I smashed in my tv with my bare and until blood andelectronics were littered everywhere. I slept outside for a few weeks until I gota hold of someone who coud help me. That was the last time I spoke to her.

To this day I have trouble maintaining arelationship. Women often become too frustrated with my inabilty to be open.

Wow. Sorry you both had to go through that. How many years has it been since yall have spoken to your moms?

 

[So UnThotful]

This shyt really sucks. I used to leave for work to go to a job I ABSOLUTELY fukkING HATE and I would see her sitting there on the couch eating breakfast, enjoying food whenever she wanted, and watching cable without having to worry about working and paying bills and it would motivate me to go to that hellhole another day. It made me feel good. It really does bother me that she is going to be moving to some other place, around people she doesn't know, not being comfortable........it really fukks me up. Life fukking sucks brehs.

man you in a rough spot, all i gotta say is me and my mother's relationship was strain over taking her brother's side rather than her 2 kids about her health but to this day im so fortunate to have amends with her before she passed away this February because honestly if we didnt, that shyt would eat at me every single second

Somehow respectfully get her out so you both can have space. As long as you guys can somewhat see eye to eye and have mutual respect you can go from there

 

[Dominic Brehetto]

Wow. Sorry you both had to go through that. How many years has it been since yall have spoken to your moms?

7 years. I'm 29.

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

Wow. Sorry you both had to go through that. How many years has it been since yall have spoken to your moms?

I still speak to her every month or so. She hasn't really tried me like that in years, since I've moved out. I think she got scared i'd never talk to her again so she tried to make up for it. It's never going to be normal, and I don't forget shyt, but I remain civil just because she lives with my pops who is cool.

 

[swag2011]

I still speak to her every month or so. She hasn't really tried me like that in years, since I've moved out. I think she got scared i'd never talk to her again so she tried to make up for it. It's never going to be normal, and I don't forget shyt, but I remain civil just because she lives with my pops who is cool.

wait so where was your pops when all this was going on? You didn't tell him about it or he didn't try to stop it? Or were they not together?

 

[I'm Billy FUCO!!]

Man, I'm reading through this thread, and the amount of people saying you should love and respect your mother no matter what, is damn near creepy

What planet are y'all living on? Y'all don't realize that we have some TERRIBLE-ASS mothers out there?

Y'all up in here sounding like some damn cult members......acting like if someone don't have a good relationship with their mother, then something is automatically wrong with THEM. You don't know what the fukk those people's mothers did to them.

No wonder women be winning in court so easily during divorce/child custody cases. A lot of people have this stupid view that a woman is automatically the GOAT parent. fukk outta here.