Anybody NOT have a good relationship with their mother?

BillCosbyAteMyHomework

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My mother was physically, mentally, emotionally abusive growing up. Instead of lifting me up she would tear me down. She tore my family apart, didnt grow up with my sister for a good part of my youth cause she lived with cousins. Dad was gonna divorce but there was a good chance I would've went to her fulltime and he didnt want to chance that, so stuck through it. He's still miserable to this day. Moved out at 18 because of her and didnt talk for years. Began to talk when I got engaged, and admitted her parenting faults when I got divorced. Now we talk but after 30 mins, I cant stand her. Thinks she knows it all and loves to argue for the sake of arguing. She can be completely wrong and will argue to the death. You have one difference of opinion and she feels "attacked" Everyone in the family believes she has a chemical imbalance but she wont admit it or seek help. Even her own mother says she has ssues. So yeah, I basically just tolerate her. I've even questioned myself, and wondered if I would shed a tear when her time comes. Honestly I dont know. On the other hand, when my dad passes I know I'll be a mess.

This really hits close to home. I had never thought much about it, but one time my little sister (about 8 at the time) asked me if I thought life would be easier if our Mom was dead. That ripped my heart out that my innocent little sis had those thoughts.

How I would feel when the time would come plagued me until it came. I was sad for obvious reasons, but I was mostly sad for the future we could have had if she had not died and somehow miraculously changed. Then the thought jumps in that she wouldn't have, and I move on. When my Grandpa (he raised me half of the time) died, I was a wreck. I experienced true grief with him, and with my Mom, I did not.
 

Elle Driver

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It's kind of stereotypical in my mother's culture for mother's and daughters to have good relationships and I definitely didn't. For a long time I blamed her for my father's death, haven't lived with her since I was about 17, and I'm just now repairing my relationship with her. She's very elderly so I figure I just let her cook. But I don't enable her behavior, that's the problem she has with me and why we don't even live in the same city lol. I love her and support her, but distance has helped me heal some wounds and it's work in progress.
 

Mr. Negative

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I ain't read any of the responses yet but the fact that it's easy to identify hoes that have daddy issues...

It's only fair and balanced to think aspects of our relationships with our mother could lead to our overall mistrust in all females :troll:

It's also a possibility that you hold the females in your family to such high esteem due to the shared rare morals that it impacts your outlook on these thots running wild :troll:

I've admitted it plenty of times here.

My biggest problem with women and relationships has always- ALWAYS been, even friendship wise, that

1. I used to constantly look for women that treated me like they hated me so I could "fix" the problems I have with my mom through them

2. I was subservient and eager to please because I feared a woman's disappointment and anger and would do almost anything for her praise.... because I was severely abused on one hand while on the other, praise and affection was held in front of me like a prize I could never get.... and I never did. But I watched others get it for less.

3. Subconsciously learned to try and not be the type of man that evoked those reactions from women.... not knowing that those type of guys get chewed up and destroyed by those type of women.

Basically I was raised to be a hoe bytch nikka who would be a slave to my mom because of her laziness and bitterness towards all the dikks she sucked that didn't bust wads of money into her mouth like she wanted. Hell, I basically had to threaten her to get her to stop telling people that she was letting me make "us" (re: her) money.


That may have been too heavy a reply, but fukk it. All moms ain't good moms.
 

Raava

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Oh Rae, hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. :to: In fact I need "Widowed TO" to properly convey my emotions.

Friend_hug.gif


Remember who you are. That's what I do. I know who I am and that she is not always right and she is not perfect.
 

Rarely-Wrong Liggins

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I've admitted it plenty of times here.

My biggest problem with women and relationships has always- ALWAYS been, even friendship wise, that

1. I used to constantly look for women that treated me like they hated me so I could "fix" the problems I have with my mom through them

2. I was subservient and eager to please because I feared a woman's disappointment and anger and would do almost anything for her praise.... because I was severely abused on one hand while on the other, praise and affection was held in front of me like a prize I could never get.... and I never did. But I watched others get it for less.

3. Subconsciously learned to try and not be the type of man that evoked those reactions from women.... not knowing that those type of guys get chewed up and destroyed by those type of women.

Basically I was raised to be a hoe bytch nikka who would be a slave to my mom because of her laziness and bitterness towards all the dikks she sucked that didn't bust wads of money into her mouth like she wanted. Hell, I basically had to threaten her to get her to stop telling people that she was letting me make "us" (re: her) money.


That may have been too heavy a reply, but fukk it. All moms ain't good moms.


:wow::to:

These moms ain't loyal. :sadbron:

 

Mr. Negative

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This really hits close to home. I had never thought much about it, but one time my little sister (about 8 at the time) asked me if I thought life would be easier if our Mom was dead. That ripped my heart out that my innocent little sis had those thoughts.

How I would feel when the time would come plagued me until it came. I was sad for obvious reasons, but I was mostly sad for the future we could have had if she had not died and somehow miraculously changed. Then the thought jumps in that she wouldn't have, and I move on. When my Grandpa (he raised me half of the time) died, I was a wreck. I experienced true grief with him, and with my Mom, I did not.


I figure that I would laugh like comic book villain.

I actually spend a lot of time trying to figure how to fake the emotion of sadness and grief at her funeral.

I'm 100 percent certain that there's people in my family with rehearsed reactions for when I don't react the correct way.

would I kick the casket over? :lupe:




One of my fondest thoughts is the hope that on her deathbed, I'm able to whisper into her ear that we are all God's reflection, therefore God would forgive her for a lifetime of wrongdoing no more than she would forgive a child for knowingly doing wrong and apologizing so they escape punishment... so without my forgiveness, she'll never get into Heaven. :demonic:
 

SubLyminalz

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I don't hate my mom but fukk my dad I don't respect him at all, my step pops raised me so that's my dad.

my bytch ass biological dad pretty much was scared of my step pops when I was a baby and thats why he didn't deal with me.

my uncle whooped his ass and my step pops pulled piece to that nikka dome and told him to leave me and my moms alone.

my step pops and moms been married for almost 20 years.
 

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I don't hate my mother at all but our relationship is difficult... My mother and I never bonded and we have completely opposite personalities... I respect my mom as a strong woman who has held my father down for over 30 years... But nurturing is not her strong suit... Or maybe it wasn't with me...

It's funny how you can live under someone for 18yrs and be complete strangers... My mom is now trying to build a relationship with me and it all feels forced...
 

Dwolf

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It's kind of stereotypical in my mother's culture for mother's and daughters to have good relationships and I definitely didn't. For a long time I blamed her for my father's death, haven't lived with her since I was about 17, and I'm just now repairing my relationship with her. She's very elderly so I figure I just let her cook. But I don't enable her behavior, that's the problem she has with me and why we don't even live in the same city lol. I love her and support her, but distance has helped me heal some wounds and it's work in progress.

These fukking allergies man :to:
 
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Nino Brown

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I've admitted it plenty of times here.

My biggest problem with women and relationships has always- ALWAYS been, even friendship wise, that

1. I used to constantly look for women that treated me like they hated me so I could "fix" the problems I have with my mom through them

2. I was subservient and eager to please because I feared a woman's disappointment and anger and would do almost anything for her praise.... because I was severely abused on one hand while on the other, praise and affection was held in front of me like a prize I could never get.... and I never did. But I watched others get it for less.

3. Subconsciously learned to try and not be the type of man that evoked those reactions from women.... not knowing that those type of guys get chewed up and destroyed by those type of women.

Basically I was raised to be a hoe bytch nikka who would be a slave to my mom because of her laziness and bitterness towards all the dikks she sucked that didn't bust wads of money into her mouth like she wanted. Hell, I basically had to threaten her to get her to stop telling people that she was letting me make "us" (re: her) money.


That may have been too heavy a reply, but fukk it. All moms ain't good moms.

Damn Bruh

A good percentage of my friends that I haven't seen since my teenage years for one good reason or another had really really bad relationships with their mothers..some of them have famous names and dudes worship them but I know their soft core and reason for wildin :sadcam:

I have no right to say it but respect your moms, she's the gate that brought you to this physical plane. it's not the Cosby show... try and understand her circumstances that shaped her to be that way :troll:

Even an alcoholic or crack head moms deep down has love behind the demons :troll:

Don't harbour hate...gain understanding :troll:
 
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Capo Dei Capi

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I had a terrible relationship with my mom. I didn't even speak to her for 8 straight years. She was a horrible drunk and did unforgivable things.

I forgave her (but I'm not forgetting), but we are only "friends" right now. I speak to her about 3 times a year (Christmas, Mother's Day, and my Birthday). We will never have that mother-son bond again. She ruined it, and she knows it. She has apologized, but the damage has been done :to: At least we don't hate each other anymore either.

I'm not on good terms with my father either. That muthafukka basically abandoned me. I talk to him on the phone more though. Maybe once every couple of months.

I don't sweat it though. Having bad parents happens sometimes. I learned how not to act. I'm still scared to be a parent though. Will I repeat the same errors? :lupe:

:to: I feel ya breh
 

Amy Traphouse

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Although I don't hate my mother, I do have to keep my distance with her because my tolerance is low. Us living under the same roof (even as a child) never worked. I grew up and decided to raise my kids differently with less discipline (my mom whooped me for every lil thing until I got too big, then she started trying to fight me). And not embarrass them in front of family by making a spectacle of their bad/embarrassing/private moments.
 

Mr. Negative

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Damn Bruh

A good percentage of my friends that I haven't seen since my teenage years for one good reason or another had really really bad relationships with their mothers..some of them have famous names and dudes worship them but I know their soft core and reason for wildin :sadcam:

I have no right to say it but respect your moms, she's the gate that brought you to this physical plane. it's not the Cosby show... try and understand her circumstances that shaped her to be that way :troll:

Even an alcoholic or crack head moms deep down has love behind the demons :troll:

Don't harbour hate... and gain understanding :troll:


I know exactly what makes her that way. It's generational. Plus a high sense of entitlement and physical abuse from her dead husband. I could break it down to dates and bullet points.

And although I hate her for what she's done to my life behind the scenes and still tries til this very day, I am EXTREMELY grateful for the fact that a lifetime of dealing with her has given me a mind composed of razor blades....

that damage though. :to:
 
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