I'll be honest, I support all cheesecake factory slander.
First of all you're going to a restaurant named "factory". Autoloss.
Secondly, their menu is bigger than the book of Jeremiah. You can't be good at ANYTHING if you have that many options. That big ass plastic menu can go fukk itself. How do you have egg rolls, lasagna, pot stickers, a steak, and many salads? And yet nothing seems good.
Thirdly, their portions are comedically huge. Like, you order a salad there it's impossible to find the bottom of the bowl. It's a bucket of over dressing'd mixed greens from a bag, and whatever protein on it. Fries? You're getting a whole troth. A mixed drink? You're getting an entire super big gulp of that neon ass drink.
Fourth, their specialty is cheesecake. But none of it is made in house or special...it's just jokingly made Reese's Oreo m&m peanut butter ass cheesecake toothaches.
Fifth, everything is 5000 calories. You can get a caesar, a burger, some spaghetti, a chicken sandwich you are getting a days worth of food. The "skinnylicious" menu is still like 900 calories for a chicken breast.
fukk cheesecake factory.