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1. Few People Are Impressed By Us
Unless youre speaking with a real estate agent or a prostitute, chances are theyre not going to be excited that youre American. Its not some badge of honor we get to parade around. Yes, we had Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison, but unless you actually are Steve Jobs or Thomas Edison (which is unlikely) then most people around the world are simply not going to care. There are exceptions of course. And those exceptions are called English and Australian people. Whoopdie-fukking-doo.
As Americans, were brought up our entire lives being taught that were the best, we did everything first and that the rest of the world follows our lead. Not only is this not true, but people get irritated when you bring it to their country with you. So dont.
2. Few People Hate Us
Despite the occasional eye-rolling, and complete inability to understand why anyone would vote for George W. Bush, people from other countries dont hate us either. In fact and I know this is a really sobering realization for us most people in the world dont really think about us or care about us. I know, that sounds absurd, especially with CNN and Fox News showing the same 20 angry Arab men on repeat for ten years straight. But unless were invading someones country or threatening to invade someones country (which is likely), then theres a 99.99% chance they dont care about us. Just like we rarely think about the people in Bolivia or Mongolia, most people dont think about us much. They have jobs, kids, house payments you know, those things called lives to worry about. Kind of like us.
Americans tend to assume that the rest of the world either loves us or hates us (this is actually a good litmus test to tell if someone is conservative or liberal). The fact is, most people feel neither. Most people dont think much about us.
Remember that immature girl in high school, who every little thing that happened to her meant that someone either hated her or was obsessed with her; who thought every teacher who ever gave her a bad grade was being totally unfair and everything good that happened to her was because of how amazing she was? Yeah, were that immature high school girl.
3. We Know Nothing About The Rest Of The World
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