You're at home on your beachfront property and SUDDENLY YOU FIND OUT YOUR DAUGHTER WAS KIDNAPPED!!!!

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

[the second selection is for osu sucks ]

You are a retired assassin and you were pretty successful at taking out elected officials liberating countries from dictators , and had a 100% achievement rate, no messes left.

You're having your morning espresso and reading and you get a call:

"USERNAME....ITS ME (your ex wife who has no idea of your career)....NINJAS SUDDENLY RAN INTO MY CONDO AND THEY GOT OUR DAUGHTER...WHO DID THIS...and WHERE IS SHE!!?!?!"

"WHAT DID YOU SEE...DID THEY HAVE ANY MARKINGS."

"YES...THEY HAD THE LETTER V BRANDED ON THEIR HANDS. WHAT is this? THEY ASKED FOR YOU...??!"

"V...? STOP TALKING...I'LL EXPLAIN ANOTHER TIME...but she is in the most dangerous nation with the most difficult palace to penetrate....VAL VERDE. I'll HANDLE THIS."

VAL VERDE:

Thru proper intel you confirm, she's been kidnapped by a dictator who SURVIVED your FINAL HIT you dread the unspeakable things he's doing to her.

You just don't have it anymore . You wouldn't even survive landing there. But you know who can handle the job.



The ruler of Val Verde looks off his balcony and sees something ominous ashore:

he says to his #1 henchman "what is that"

.."sir....he's here...and is headed to the compound "

"who is here?! "

Who on THIS LIST do you send to save your daughter. Note worthy: they have real life mortality...not fast and furious IDDQD level invulnerability. Also, assume the enemy army consists of redshirt stormtroopers like these

and mid level bosses like these

GUNS and HANDS TO HAND. I can answer qualifying questions.

• John Rambo
• John Matrix
• John Wick
• John McClain
• Black Dynamite
• Luke Hobbs
• Dom Toretto
• Robert McCall
  
• Ethan Hunt
• Frank Martin
• Bryan Mills
  
• Snake Plisskin
• Rama
  
• Topper Harley

Choose wisely

 

[Legal]

I'm surprised it took you this long to make one of these since coming back.

 

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

I'm surprised it took you this long to make one of these since coming back.

working from home

 

[Bob Loblaw]

No Jason Bourne???

 

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

No Jason Bourne???

a valid contender

 

[F**K IT]

No John Creasy?

 

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

No John Creasy?

nope

 

[Legal]

No John Creasy?

I mean, he technically succeeded, but he does. Probably loses effectiveness points vs other options here.

@Ed MOTHEREFFING G what about Kingsman characters? They eligible?

 

[Splash]

My nikka John McCall (Denzel) gonna be in a room full of killers then lock the door from the inside and look at em like .... 23 seconds

Then merk em all, and look at his watch like...i still got it

John Wick might not have the...motivation unless its Fido hes saving of course

 

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

I mean, he technically succeeded, but he does. Probably loses effectiveness points vs other options here.

@Ed MOTHEREFFING G what about Kingsman characters? They eligible?

I'll allow it but lets be real...they're the least qualified on this list and i'd be surprised if even you vote for them.

 

[Legal]

I'll allow it but lets be real...they're the least qualified on this list and i'd be surprised if even you vote for them.

I don't know, breh. The movies have established they have nearly unlimited funds and resources. Pick any one of them, and they could probably leave Val Verde smoking with your girl back by brunch, and drop her off with a bottle of Statesman and a new pair of dress boots just because. It'd be like the totally unnecessary luxury package.

 

[cheek100]

Wick and done fuk the bs scorched earth theory

 

[Ed MOTHEREFFING G]

Wick and done fuk the bs scorched earth theory

Does he have experience with compound based tactical extraction like many of the others

one might say John Rambo, John Matrix, Ethan Hunt and even Frank Martin are more qualified

 

[Neuromancer]

Black Dynamite has superpowers.

 

[cheek100]

Does he have experience with compound based tactical extraction like many of the others

one might say John Rambo, John Matrix, Ethan Hunt and even Frank Martin are more qualified

u see what he did over a dog