i know that i can get a feel for all those my point is i literally do not know what to say.
like after saying hey how are you or hi , my mind goes blank and i dont know what else to say to keep the conversation going
Yea, a couple things about that.
1. Dogg you're having a conversation. This ain't some scripted performance and there are no "perfect" lines or things to say. The reason you're in your head is because your thought process is, "how do I get to the p*ssy from here?" Of course you want p*ssy, but put that aside for a second and just be organic with it. Follow some basic guidelines (try to be physical with light touch, make assumptions instead of asking questions, realize when to be quiet and realize when to talk) but mostly just have fun with it.
Women generally respond to your vibe (sex appeal), so if you're having fun with it, she'll respond favorably. If you're in your head and fumbling over your words, she'll be uncomfortable. You cannot have sex appeal
and be wrapped up in your head, the two don't go together.
Example: On days when I hit the gym and I'm in my head, most people (in general) and especially women avoid my space. I bring my own baggage into the gym and start believing, "this woman just left the machine because I setup next to her." Truth is my energy is fukked. Women can sense that energy and it makes them
super uncomfortable. In general, guys who bring their own baggage into situations
do not make it very far.
On days when I'm more concerned about pushing up 315, or more focused on my long-term goals, my energy is completely different. I'm smiling or I'm focused and as a result, everyone wants to be around me. Every time I turn around, women are all up in my space, trying to get on the machine next to me or in front of me, asking to work in, walking directly past me to get from A to B, looking, smiling, and so on.
2. I'm not sure who your target audience is but that "hi, how are you" shyt ain't gonna get you close to even sniffing the p*ssy if you're going after black girls. It varies with mixed girls depending on whether they have a white mom or black mom and white girls (most of whom are much more sensitive) might work with that, but generally it sounds like you are
approaching them (especially when you have nothing else to say) and that tends to bring up defenses.
I know this is counter to what you've been taught (by other women), but it's better to get any sort of emotional reaction than none at all.
Examples: All over the last day or so.
To Black Girl (at my gym):
Me: What possessed you to buy those loud ass yoga pants?
Her: WHAT!
Me: Don't you see all these white girls wearing black and grey? You
would have to get some leopard stripes, tryna be different.
Her: Well, you wearing blah blah...
Me: Yea, but it don't matter, I'm a dude, besides you
trying to stand out. Tacky.
Her: !!!???!!!
Me: I'm just playing baby (light touch and smile). You know I see you working out everyday and blah blah...
*Can't take her eyes off me*
To Black Girl (at iHop):
Her: *talking loud for a long time about men*
Me: *Turns to her, in an authoritative voice* I see why you not getting dude...you talk so damn much. *turns back*
*Friends laugh*
Her: *bewilderment turns to intrigue turns to...*
*Can't take her eyes off me*
To Black Girl (at Taco Bell drive thru):
Me: *on phone texting, nothing moving from drive thru*
Her: Ummm, can you pull up?
Me: *ignores her at first* Yea, I'll be done in a second.
Her: Can you move though?
Me: Yea, no one is behind me, I'll be done in a second
Her: You need to move!!
Me: Who the fukk you talking to?
Her: *smiles directly at me, turns on sweet voice* Well, uhh, I'm sorry, we just have blah blah
Me: Yea, what time you get off, number, all that.
*Can't take her eyes off me*
All of this was organic. If I went up on some, "hey uh, how are you, uh, I saw you..." I would've been called a fakkit.
Hope that helps.