You can't help somebody that doesn't want help

[mbewane]

Have you ever had a friend that you've known for the longest & in the good years they were healthy & on the right track, but now-a-days you see them on social media & they're completely out of control? You want to help them but they continue being in denial?

I have several friends that I grew up with that I see now & they're out of control! I want nothing more than to "save" them but as they say you can't help anybody that doesn't want help. It's just sad to see what they are now compared to what they used to be.

This one girl was sweet as ever, & now she's a drug addict, developing porn star & her statuses on facebook are always rants about how this guy left her after she fukked him. The only time she's sobber is in her sleep & she constantly talks about how her life is meaningless. In a way I blame myself because I feel like I could've saved her when she told me what her job was (Webcam model/ e-pornstar). Back then when she told me that she had just started, & maybe if I would've said something she wouldn't have become a full blown porn-star thus resulting in her drug addictions & self-hate.

fukk man

I understand what you're saying, because I'm basically that friend, not that I'm "fukked up" but my life is nowhere where it should be. I've had friends try to help me out but since I've always been moving all over the place my relationships with people (including family) have never been stable, so their impact on my life has been minimal at best.

OP you need to realize something lead up to this girl situation. One thing that needs to be understood is lack of love/caring/emotions..can sometimes lead to self-neglect or fukk it mode that your friend has developed (fukk life, self-hate). extend the olive branch...let her know you there for her. Dont push because sometimes that person sees your "pushing" as an attack and create that defensive shell. Give it time.

Very good points. Plus don't forget that our brain fukks with us and we tend to stick with what we know (even if it's bad) above the unknown (even if that unknown could be better). And we get used to being down.

 

[raw613]

dude i knew got kicked out his moms house for beating up his step pops ( he was abusive i don't knock him there), he had pretty much bounced from place to place while hustling, i convinced him to go to a job training program with me, but he never stayed out of trouble long enough to complete it and still can't keep himself out of jail. That's one of many stories like that i remember, so ya sometimes you do what you can, but people have to want to address their issues themselves. *scarface i often wish i could save everyone but im a dreamer

 

[yo moms]

It's not that we don't want help. It's that we're too stubborn and prideful to take any help.

 

[IronFist]

another thing you need to let her know is that she is appericated and cared about.

 

[IronFist]

@BellaVenus how old is your friend?

 

[Mr. Negative]

whether you love them or not, you can't save them all.

It's not your responsibility to save everyone.

Even people you care about.