"You can't be pro black if you have a white spouse"-Tommy Sotomayor

[HopeKillCure]

you cant be pro-black if you have white friends

Why yall cacs in here trying to turn pro blackness into some race/anti white thing. Gtfoh

 

[Eddy Gordo]

I think he's right actually. If you consider the definition of "pro", it's: an argument or evidence in affirmation/the affirmative side or one holding it and in favor or a proponent of.

So if you consider those definitions being pro-black, means to uphold/affirm the betterment of black peoples, to be in favor of blackness and black people(from a racial standpoint). If that is the case, then how could that not extend to your choice in spouse? Yes you can you affirm/uphold the betterment of black peoples, by donating to causes, supporting causes, hiring black workers, but how can you demonstrate that you are in favor of your race, when you marry someone or favor a group of women or men that are not? The very idea of being in favor of "blackness", and "upholding" it in your day to day life, wouldn't just, IMO, extend to supporting black businesses and black people(although these are evidence that you support black causes), rather it would also extend to who you chose to commit to, bring children in the world with, provide for, and so on.

Another take: you can't really describe yourself as patient person, if in every area your patient BUT when it comes to dating(for instance) and finding a man you are impatient--because anyone who knows how desperate and impatient you are would beg to differ. They aren't seeing those other parts of your life, and even if they did, the impatience they see from dating would still have weight in their eyes. Likewise, you can't say your pro-black, if you uphold it in every way BUT your spouse and the family you create with your spouse.

I feel for the people who want to call themselves "pro-black" but are married to another race or for whatever reason prefer another race. No matter what they do to try to "compensate" for their preferences--including speaking on black issues, donating to black causes, etc--they will be judged for not having a black spouse. This is why you see a lot of people lash out at these black men, and/or black women that try to speak on black issues but that are married to non-black spouses.

Truthfully, if you think about it on deep level, who you chose to marry, should and is typically a reflection of you. People will look at your spouse and draw conclusions about you. Just as they do your children. It may not be fair, in every case, but it is what it is.

So FD who was literally a abolitionist isn't pro black because he was married to a white woman.

 

[SuperPawgHunter]

I think he's right actually. If you consider the definition of "pro", it's: an argument or evidence in affirmation/the affirmative side or one holding it and in favor or a proponent of.

So if you consider those definitions being pro-black, means to uphold/affirm the betterment of black peoples, to be in favor of blackness and black people(from a racial standpoint). If that is the case, then how could that not extend to your choice in spouse? Yes you can you affirm/uphold the betterment of black peoples, by donating to causes, supporting causes, hiring black workers, but how can you demonstrate that you are in favor of your race, when you marry someone or favor a group of women or men that are not? The very idea of being in favor of "blackness", and "upholding" it in your day to day life, wouldn't just, IMO, extend to supporting black businesses and black people(although these are evidence that you support black causes), rather it would also extend to who you chose to commit to, bring children in the world with, provide for, and so on.

Another take: you can't really describe yourself as patient person, if in every area your patient BUT when it comes to dating(for instance) and finding a man you are impatient--because anyone who knows how desperate and impatient you are would beg to differ. They aren't seeing those other parts of your life, and even if they did, the impatience they see from dating would still have weight in their eyes. Likewise, you can't say your pro-black, if you uphold it in every way BUT your spouse and the family you create with your spouse.

I feel for the people who want to call themselves "pro-black" but are married to another race or for whatever reason prefer another race. No matter what they do to try to "compensate" for their preferences--including speaking on black issues, donating to black causes, etc--they will be judged for not having a black spouse. This is why you see a lot of people lash out at these black men, and/or black women that try to speak on black issues but that are married to non-black spouses.

Truthfully, if you think about it on deep level, who you chose to marry, should and is typically a reflection of you. People will look at your spouse and draw conclusions about you. Just as they do your children. It may not be fair, in every case, but it is what it is.

I think the problem with this, it is too black and white.

It's like saying, if you aren't the fastest person in the world, you're slow.

As it has been said before, there are levels to everything.

For instance, my mother always tell people that I'm lazy as hell, unless there is money to be made. I hate chores to my core. However, I will give my all to things that will bring me money. When I first started my business, I worked an averaged of 12 hours, and there are days that I did nothing else but work, and plopped onto the bed when I was done.

Would you call me lazy, or simply lazy when it comes to doing chores? You have to be specific if you're going to call me lazy, because if you were to describe me as lazy to someone else, they're going to assume I have no drive to do anything. If they found out that I have a beastly work ethic if I'm being compensated, then they wouldn't consider me lazy - just lazy about certain things.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

I think the problem with this, it is too black and white.

It's like saying, if you aren't the fastest person in the world, you're slow.

As it has been said before, there are levels to everything.

For instance, my mother always tell people that I'm lazy as hell, unless there is money to be made. I hate chores to my core. However, I will give my all to things that will bring me money. When I first started my business, I worked an averaged of 12 hours, and there are days that I did nothing else but work, and plopped onto the bed when I was done.

Would you call me lazy, or simply lazy when it comes to doing chores? You have to be specific if you're going to call me lazy, because if you were to describe me as lazy to someone else, they're going to assume I have no drive to do anything. If they found out that I have a beastly work ethic if I'm being compensated, then they wouldn't consider me lazy - just lazy about certain things.

I get what your saying, but think about how it sounds if we use that logic: your pro black about certain things, and others your not. Lol.

Imo, putting that way makes it seem as being pro black is a half vested interest, because your pro black in some things, and other things not so much. And if you think about how serious it is to marry someone, breed with them, combine finances, and showcase that person your with—that almost seems like an area where you should choose black, due to the weight of it.

And maybe the issue is that when you label yourself with that term, there’s certain expectations(from other blacks especially) that logically make sense on paper and to others (like the expectation that if your for blacks you would have a black partner) but that are perhaps more complex in reality. For instance, Eddy Gordo mentioned Frederick Douglass, who obviously fought for blacks, but married a white woman. He wouldn’t be considered pro-black because he did not choose a black wife, yet we all know the contributions and things he did.

Like I mentioned in the other post, I feel for the people that prefer nonblacks, but that call themselves pro-black. Unfortunately, a lot of people aren’t very forgiving or understanding when it comes to rationalizing how someone can be for blacks, but marry someone that isn’t. I think, as someone argued earlier, there are a lot of blacks that are pro-equality as opposed to pro-black. I think there are honestly a very small amount of aa’s that are truly pro black. A lot of us are exactly as you said when you were making your point about being lazy.

I wouldn’t call myself pro-black, for instance, despite the fact that I only date black men, because in other areas of my life I’m not always thinking consciously or making decisions that uphold it.

But maybe the real issue, is not necessarily whether someone is pro black or not, rather it is: is someone with a nonblack spouse seen as credible when they speak on black issues? Most people that responded to this thread said no, and that seems to be the consensus that I’ve observed offline too.