Womanese 101. Translating Women Talk for the Simps

[1thouwow]

 

[Zime]

The comments on that IG post are funny to read

 

[Morose Polymath]

@Speaking Womanese

 

[Negus in Detroit]

All facts I got a homeboy that’s about to fall for the “I need space” line I told his ass if y’all separate you’ll be a damn fool to get back with her

 

[invincible1914]

“We need to talk” is the same thing as sitting down with your manager to get written up and you need to go through re-training.

 

[Mordith]

Solid advice

 

[Henri Christophe]

I see women in the comments triggered, angry, and calling him homosexual.

Thats how you know its #FACTS

"He must be gay" = "Wow he's dropping facts"

"Who hurt you" = "Wow facts"

"You hate women" = "Wow, so many facts"

 

[The Wall Is Undefeated!]

Sound advice.

 

[Ahadi]

I see women in the comments triggered, angry, and calling him homosexual.

Thats how you know its #FACTS

"He must be gay" = "Wow he's dropping facts"

"Who hurt you" = "Wow facts"

"You hate women" = "Wow, so many facts"

THIS!

 

[MVike28]

I see no lies.

also brehs practice your listening skills. Reveal little and let them sing. You got her exactly where you want her.

 

[HoloGraphic]

Yup always read between the lines. If she ain't making it easy for you, shes not that into you.

 

[Hagendas]

It’s sad that dating is this way all these games you got to play

but adding to the thread


“I’ll let you know” = just enjoy your night breh she ain’t gonna text back

 

[Treblemaka]

All of these quotes and translations are from one vantage point with no context.

Seek women advice online from men you don't know, Coli Brehs.

 

[Cape Town JHB]

Only a South African breh can have such a healthy hatred for hoes


"I love you, but I'm not ready for a child"

Translation : you're too ugly for me to ruin my body to make ugly babies with, but I like your ugly ass paying for everything.

#HandsomeGang knows girls will literally talk about what features the baby should have from the both of you combined within the first time she sees you

 

[invincible1914]

All of these quotes and translations are from one vantage point with no context.

Seek women advice online from men you don't know, Coli Brehs.

Get out of here with all that reasoning and rationality stuff. Let OP cook.