I think the issue is those hobbies you mentioned are what people view as acceptable. I think its getting better for anime fans because back in the day it used to be people would eye people who are fans of superheroes. Nowadays, being a fan of comicbook characters is okay because its mainstream due to MCU, and it's view as somewhat acceptable making that your personality.While I understand what you're saying, I feel like people into anime arent the only ones that do this. Athletes, some of their whole personality is the sport. People who workout, working out can be their whole personality. People with careers, they can make their career their whole personality. Myself and a group of my friends enjoy anime, but aren't weebs. I'm sure you can find a bunch of other people that like anime but you wouldn't know because they don't talk/dress like it 24/7
Also, agree with the last part, you're not going to find somebody is a fan of something unless you talk to them because most people aren't open about their hobbies.