What are some of your greatest simp stories?

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At30wecashout

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At30wecashout said:
Biggest simp missteps i can recall offhand

5. Giving this pretty, popular blondie with a bubble butt my lunch money for a few weeks during highschool, and one day pulling her aside to tell her my name and get hers. It stopped the day she came, got 85 cents off me, and handed it to a dude. My boys clowned me.

4. Rushing across town at 3am to pick up a girl from the bar, when her boyfriend said fukk that. He was right:francis: Whatever happened to her was none of my business, as the man she chose over me didnt even go to get her.

3. I didnt get to eat my $45 prom meal because i was trying to bribe the principal and vice principal to let this girl i liked in. I was so frustrated, i was brought to tears. Both for her coming all the way out there just to be told no, and also for my boy flaking on her like that. Classic simp behavior, wish someone scolded me for caring so much.

2. Being the emotional tampon for a girl for an entire summer because she broke up with her boyfriend. Shoulda gave her a bottle of Ambien and turned my head.

1. Having the girl i love cry because she couldnt see her boyfriend a state over...and initially agreeing to take her to see him.:francis:

Bonus: i had a chick i was vibing with alone at a bowling alley one night. We drinking, she coming onto me, and she mentions her ex boyfriend about to leave town for the military. She was down to one night with me. Instead, i got her to open up about him, and convinced her to call and him and go see him before he leaves by the end of the week.

Long story short, the only thing being a good guy has gotten me is loneliness, heartache, a dry dikk, and people telling me "I will find someone one day." There is a good chance im going to be her "savior" after she had to make a ton of mistakes. Long story short, i should have ate, cause there is no reward for having a conscience.
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At30wecashout said:
11pm on a wednesday Im texting a friend of mine (who I simped for 9 years) and she says "Im soooooooooo hungry." Meanwhile, she is super goddamned poor. I hop in the kitchen and fry 2 tilapia fillets in panko breadcrumbs, steam some broccoli, and partially boil then sautee basmati rice in butter and balsamic vinegar. Took that ish over at almost 12:30 (15 minute drive to and from)and give it to her.

First words "Wow, my boyfriend never does that for me."

A few more months of interactions like that and I began to treat women like shyt. Never again,brehs.:pacspit:
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At30wecashout said:
I have twice been used to get to a friend of mine. The first time was some :shaq2:"well, he is taller and a player on the basketball team."

The second time? Spoke to a girl for a couple months, and usually I always had my friend around. He was shy but the boy looked damn near like Genuwine

100-percent-ginuwine.jpg
The baby hair and all. Boy had NO backbone and I was his mouthpiece for most of our days hanging out.

So anyway I get invited over to her house one day because her mom was out and about, and she told me her friend was over and I could "invite my boy

so we all have something to do" (she worded it like that. I should have known.) We get to her house, eat bologna sandwiches and eat sour cream doritos:banderas:

All while watching Halloween on the living room TV. The girl I wanted was a PYT, 5'3, caramel, deep brown eyes with her hair pressed down to her shoulders

and a spaghetti string crop top with the pink "Juicy" pants on:ohlawd: Her friend was some awkward 5'9 or so Queen Latifa in Living Single built chick

444056.jpg
:what::what::what:

I'm thinking ":martin:My boy deserve better than this." Little did I know he WAS going to get better than that.

The little chick start talking

:queen:"This is getting kinda boring. I think I got something we can watch.:queen:"

She puts on a porno:francis:VHS, brehs.

Some scene with Lil Ass and this dude studying, next thing you know they fukking, she offering him the poop shoot, allathat.

My boy and I exchanging glances

Me::jawalrus:

Him::dwillhuh:

I had that kinda feeling that he was gonna drop the ball and being his boy, I would have to bounce with him when he flops like that Ron Artest album

myworld1.jpg


Ok, so the chick put the video on and stood by the TV for a bit, probably a bit nervous because what she put on, she knew dikks were bout to raise, so homo.

This was all well and good until she goes to sit down:dahell: She had this ugly ass U-shaped couch, I was on the far right end, my boy in the middle, and
her girl on the far left. Shawty goes to her friend and whispers in her ear, then Kadijah James sits next to my boy, but on the side facing me:dahell:

PYT sits next to my boy and starts asking him questions.

"So what brought you over here?" she asks him.

bytch you told me to bring him over:dahell:

Kadijah laughing finishing her sandwich:shaq2:Her big ass would be.

"Whats the matter, you shy?:usure:"

GIRL, why the fukk are you asking him? Come sit on my lap:dahell:

Eventually I cut the bullshyt and move over to where PYT is sitting and ask her to show me what I can use to make another sandwich. She resisted. I insisted:birdman:

We go to her kitchen and I ask "What is this?:dahell:"

Her answer? "I'm hooking you up, what you think:childplease:"

So the girl I spoke to, having never met her friend, is "doing me a favor" by passing 1/4 of the cast of Set it Off on me.

Needless to say, I was pissed, put my shoes on, and left.



I didn't talk to my boy ever again.

I eventually got an Aim message from the PYT talking about some "Why were you mad? How could you leave your friend like that? Lose my number." type shyt

when I haven't reached out to her in months. Years later I ran into her outside a Food 4 Less:scust:2 kids, no father. She wanted to catch up.

:martin::camby::camby::camby::camby:

This girl don't know how hard I was fighting back tears when i was walking back home with her deceptive ass.

jordanmayfield.png
Click to expand...

Theres more :shaq2: I ripped my pants skateboarding home so after I shower and cry, ill post another.
 
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cornercommission2k12

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Let this chick give me a sob story about her living situation and put her disabled child in my face. I end up buying her child some shoes and clothes and got this broad a phone on my account.

Til this day I can't get a phone with sprint cause this musty chick ran the damn bill up over 1000, this was back in the free night and weekend days. Dirty broad couldn't even make her unnecessary ass calls after 7 pm :mjcry:

I don't feel bad for doing for her daughter tho, but I learned a hard lesson dealing with a damsel in distress ass girl. Telling me how wrong her ex did her, how the father don't take care of the baby etc. I fell for that shyt, dude was in his daughter life and everything, he was going broke paying her physical therapy :snoop:
 
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