What are some bars in rap songs you found hilarious but weren't intended to be funny

[FreshAIG]

One that always sticks out is when X said in 4,3,2,1

"Do you value your life as much as your possessions?
Don't be a stupid nikka, learn a lesson
I'm gon get you either way and it's better to live
So let me get what's in yo sock cause it's better to give than receive"

How you gonna rob a nikka and hit them with a Bible quote to justify the robbery, telling the victim what you're actually doing is a good deed when you think about it.

LOL shyt was always funny to me.

 

[BlueHeffner]

Pusha teeeeee


Kendrick

 

[ReasonableMatic]

(01:00)


We make nikkas say: "I don't wanna be a thug no mo'
I ain't holdin guns, I ain't sellin drugs no mo"
They don't care who laughin at em, to them it ain't funny
They like: "Mannn, I ain't tryna die for this money
GMG almost KILLED me last night
That made me realize how much I appreciate life
And I ain't taking nuffin for granted,
I ain't tryna get hit up no mo' with that cannon, cotdamn it!
Them nikkas can HAVE that block, it ain't worth it..
them nikkas can HAVE that guap, SHYTTT
I'm just tryna raise my kids,
I hope God forgive me for all the dirt I did
I'm tired of watching my back, I'm moving outta town
I'm taking the wife and kids, I'm gonna settle down"
He turned his life around, we got that nikka chillin
Let em know when we catch em, we STILL gon kill em

- Uncle Murda (We Got Beef)
Debo Brown and Murda's adlibs in the background is OD

(01:10)


Shyt you read about in the ‘papers, MY crew did it
: "Suspect fled to scene, killed two victims"
"We feel sorry for the victims, we gon’ miss em…."
My crew start LAUGHIN,
they know I'm BULLSHYTTIN, GOOD RIDDANCE!!!

- Uncle Murda (Hustler’s Ambition)

 

[get these nets]

One that always sticks out is when X said in 4,3,2,1

"Do you value your life as much as your possessions?
Don't be a stupid nikka, learn a lesson
I'm gon get you either way and it's better to live
So let me get what's in yo sock cause it's better to give than receive"

How you gonna rob a nikka and hit them with a Bible quote to justify the robbery, telling the victim what you're actually doing is a good deed when you think about it.

LOL shyt was always funny to me.

.....and in the NEXT verse threaten to kill him

 

[Justin Nitsuj]

Tryna strike a chord and it’s probably a-minorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[King Poetic]

Tupac

Congratulations on the wedding, I hope your wife know
She got a playa for life, and that's no bullshyttin'

I don’t know why that shyt have me laughing all the time

 

[get these nets]

Dizzy Gillespie plays a sax (sax)

I didn't know the name of the instrument he did play, but I knew for certain that it wasn't a saxophone.

Will always laugh at this Greg Nice line.

 

[winb83]

Tryna strike a chord and it’s probably a-minorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

You think that wasn't an intentional joke?

 

[We Ready]

Holy. Bible. Assault. Rifle
Thou shalt, not kill, unless they make you feel
Like they, superior, naw brah, who you wit'

 

[Deltron]

Practically any canibus line


Drive through a brick wall, pull the parking brake up
Ask you for you proof of registration, say what?

 

[RIPODB]

I almost made a thread about this a couple weeks ago when the Drake pedo allegations were doing numbers.

G dep, Boottee remix



Bein the Bad Boy you know I be,
it's all ages! You ain't gotta show ID!
Tu Yung (too young) is a man in China!
So what if she can buy Grey Goose wit a loose vagina??

This ain't necessarily funny on its own, but in light of recent events...

 

[Iverson_64]

Not a bar but when Mike Tyson tells Canibus in the intro of 2nd Round KO:

"Hey, Mike Tyson here, speakin' with the Canibus man over here
Yo, Canibus, your main objective out here is to do nothin' but
Eat, eat, eat, eat, emcees for lunch, breakfastz'

Mike confused "canibus/cannibis" for "cannibal."

 

[bobbiewishbone]

Is this the best that you could make?

'Cause if not, and you got more, I'll wait.

 

[FreshAIG]

There's multiple lines in the song that always made me laugh but on "Round Here" when 50 goes

"Man, I done did so much dirt in the hood
nikkas heard I got shot
They was all sayin' 'good' ("Good for him!")
fukk ya'll, ya' ain't got to like me
I get knocked, ya'll nikka ain't got to write me"

LOL nikkas really didn't like 50 and still don't. They just tolerate him to not get on his bad side.

 

[Iverson_64]

Honestly, even when I was younger, I used to look funny at Tupac rapping this on How Do U Want It:

"C. Delores Tucker, you's a motherfukker
Instead of tryin' to help a nikka, you destroy a brother
Worse than the others, Bill Clinton, Mr. Bob Dole
You're too old to understand the way the game's told
You're lame, so I gotta hit you with the hot facts
Once I'm released, I'm makin' millions, nikkas top that"

Pac was dead serious but him randomly getting political like that in a club song was a good but funny dichotomy.