Trans man discusses how once he transitioned he came to realize just how affection-starved men truly

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Spoiler: copied from

 

[Arcavian]

1 star for posting tranny babble

 

[Hood Critic]

What does being "platonically intimate" with someone of the same sex mean?

 

[bnew]

1 star for posting tranny babble

I'm 100% sure you didn't even read the entire thread title much less the post.

 

[bnew]

What does being "platonically intimate" with someone of the same sex mean?

hugs?

 

[88m3]

might be an interesting read but the font and size idk

 

[bnew]

might be an interesting read but the font and size idk

used Image to Text (Extract Text From Image) to convert to text.

demilypyro
tedthetalk Follow

skaldish Follow
Still bothered by the US cultural idea that men can only be non-romantically intimate with one another in war-like or competitive circumstances.

skaldish Follow
I'm pretty quiet about the fact I'm a transman usually, but holy shyti need to tell you about the culture shock I'm going through because it's blindsiding me.

There's a huge sense of social isolation that comes with being perceived as male, because now people are subconsciously treating me as a potential predator. All strangers, no matter their gender, keep their guard up around me.

It made me realize that there is no inherent camaraderie in male socialization as there is in female socialization-unless, of course, it's in very specific environments. And the fact I don't amnbiently experience this mutual kinship in basic exchanges anymore is an insanely lonely feeling.

You know how badly this would have fukked my mind up if I had grown up with this?

skaldish Follow
It is 4:30am and I'm mourning the loss of a privilege I didn't even know I had

skaldish Follow
Anyway, I'm going to figure out how to navigate this. Don't know how yet, but I'm gonna.

skaldish Follow

azaloset If you figure it out, can you share your insights? This is a fundamental as to why im in the closet


Absolutely, because it's an extremely sticky issue.

Frankly, this is something I would've never understood without living the experience. It's now blatantly clear to me that most cis men probably experience chronic emotional malnutrition. They're deprived of social connection just enough for it to seriously fukk with their psyches, but not enough for them to realize that it's happening and what's causing it.

It's like they're starving, but don't know this because they've always been served 3 meals...except those meals have never been big enough.

This deprivation comes from all sides of aisle, by the way

In the case of women: When I'm out in public and interact, with women, all of them come off as incredibly aloof, cold, and mirthless. I have never experienced this before even though know exactly what this composure is the armor that keeps away creepy-ass men.

As someone who used to wear it myself, I know this armor is 100% impersonal. Nobody likes wearing it, and I can say with absolute certainty that women would dump the armor in favor of unconditional companionship with men if doing this didn't run the risk of actual assault (Trust me when I say women aren't just being needlessly guarded.)

But I only have a complete understanding of this context because I've experienced female socialization. If I hadn't, I would've thought this coldness was a conspiracy against me devised by roughly half of the human population. Even now, with all that I know about navigating the world as a woman, I'm failing to convince my monkey-brain that this armor isn't social rejection.

And as for male socialization? Again, it seems taboo for a man to be platonically intimate with men for reasons I have yet to fully understand, but I think it boils down to a) the fact society teaches boys that it's not okay to be soft with each other, and b) garden-variety homophobia. Our media only shows men being, intimate with one another when they're teamed up against a dire situation, and I'd bet real money it's a huge reason why men, gravitate toward activities that simulate being teamed up against an opposing force.

But men are not machines of war. Yes, testosterone absolutely gives you Dumb b*stard Brain, but that just makes you want to skateboard a wagon down a hill or duct-tape your friend to the wall, not kill someone.

The human species looks so much colder standing from this side.

I can see how men might convince themselves that their feelings, of emotional desperation is personal weakness as opposed to a symptom they're all experiencing from White Imperialism. Because this human connection, this frith, is as essential for our wellbeing as water is.

So sick. How sick. I want to destroy this garbage.

#this is a certain perspective you gain from having crossed the gender barrier #now that people see ... See all
11,152 notes

 

[Hood Critic]

hugs?

Me and the homies handshake into the lean in hug when we greeting each other. But a full blown hug hug, nah that would be weird and not in a society told it would be, but in a, that seems real uncomfortable type of way.

 

[Arcavian]

I'm 100% sure you didn't even read the entire thread title much less the post.

A woman that decided to be a man fukked around and found out that men don't act like women, is shell shocked about it and thinks we all are lacking affection not knowing that most of us don't want the kind of affection that she is missing because deep down inside she is still a woman

shyt ain't complicated, you earned that one star i gave you

 

[Kenny West]

You mean to tell me we all aren't teamed up & passing each other benefits off the strength of being a man because patriarchy? Well I'll be

 

[Regular_P]

Damn, that bozo @smitty22 really needs a hug.

 

[Wiles]

So this women cries about being a man and its hard because u cant randomly have strangers care about your well-being. Who cares

 

[ScottyG]

So this women cries about being a man and its hard because u can randomly have strangers care about your well-being. Who cares

Lol the same Type of people who think politicians mean it when they say "our throughs and prayers go out to..."

That tranny needs to man up no pun intended.

 

[mr. smoke weed]

Interesting. Nothing that surprising to me.

Yall responses are hilarious though.

 

[Cornershooter]

Couple years ago I saw a documentary of a femmist that wanted to prove how easy life as a man is. She changed her appearance for a year and tried to live life as a man. 2 months in she was Spiraling into a suicidal depression and wanted to quit but rode it out for “science” shorty couldn’t get a date, make a friend , struggled at work , nothing. She ended making friends at the end with some old ass cacs because she joined a bowling club and that was the best day of her week . She ended the experiment by deciding she wasn’t a feminist anymore because she realized “ the patriarchy” wasn’t the average male experience and the comments were red pill/Mgtow breeding ground.

they took it off YouTube for some reason I wonder why