To Hit or Not to Hit: Spanking in the African-American Community

[iceberg_is_on_fire]

Parents should look at how they're carrying themselves cause people wanna act like spanking your child is the be-all and end-all of raising a decent human being and I just don't see it. For instance, I know a guy that's constantly complaining about having to smack his teenage son for misbehavior and in the back of my mind I'm like damn, you're acting like your son is a lost cause but if it always gets to the point where you need to put hands on him don't you think the problem is you? My parents didn't hit me, outside of a few isolated incidents. I know people say if they don't learn at home then society will teach them but then I look back at some of my childhood friends... these mofos stayed getting beat by their parents and they still turned out to be dirtbags so I don't know about that...

Structure is what helps these kids. Raggedy ass parents beat their kids and said kids turn into raggedy ass parents that do the same thing. It's a dumb cycle. I love my mother and she did provide structure but you aren't going to tell me that getting my ass beat for all those years really worked. What I learned from her and my dad is how to act accordingly in society, that's how I've gotten to where I'm at in life.

 

[Jimi Swagger]

Structure is what helps these kids. Raggedy ass parents beat their kids and said kids turn into raggedy ass parents that do the same thing. It's a dumb cycle. I love my mother and she did provide structure but you aren't going to tell me that getting my ass beat for all those years really worked. What I learned from her and my dad is how to act accordingly in society, that's how I've gotten to where I'm at in life.

I think it's problematic for a man to hit a girl and teach her that it's ok for men to hit her when she isn't "acting right." May be a correlation to non-Hispanic Black women having higher rates of domestic abuse and homicide in the US.

 

[iceberg_is_on_fire]

I think it's problematic for a man to hit a girl and teach her that it's ok for men to hit her when she isn't "acting right." May be a correlation to non-Hispanic Black women having higher rates of domestic abuse and homicide in the US.

Very observant post. Something that I've actually said to my daughters about this. The gist is basically this. If my own father never hit me and he could have gotten away with it under the guise of discipline as my father, there is no way in hell im going to let some random guy put hands on me. If I spanked, I could possibly be conditioning my daughters to accept that behavior from others as adults. Parenting and parenthood in general is all about setting examples, standards and thresholds that should never be crossed.

 

[Neuromancer]

It would be a last resort. I wasn't beaten excessively, but I was when it required. I would beat my kids if they didn't respond to anything else.

 

[IsThatBrothaMouzone?]

If you include the African/Asian immigrants I know (plus AA), we all came out fine in part because we got spanked. Some kids don't really need too much, but I know I woulda ended up in somebody's jail without a little extra discipline.