The methods used to raised children were developed by humanity over many millenia, and they worked well up until modern man from America inthe 20 century decided to completely upend everything.
Now you cannot discipline a child the traditional way by making clear who the authority is..you have to beg and plead and deal with insults in the process. That will never yield results, and it shows. The new modern way is failing, and the results are plain to see. You cannot embrace every new thing under the idea of creating a progressive society.
Physical punishment has existed long before people even arrived in America, and now suddenly you want to claim that for 99% of humanity's existence people were wrong and everyone must embrace the new way..the new way also includes accommodating gays and trannies, men stepping aside so women can lead, parents failing to enforce proper discipline.
Breh human beings did a lot of things millions of years. A LOT of things was thrown at the wall and there's a reason they did not stick. You make it sound like humanity is living in squalor in the 21st century and society was a flawless utopia in the year 500 AD.
There are issues today, mostly being obstructed by adults with insecure childish egos like you praise, but I doubt you would volunteer to hop in a time machine and go live as some peasant in a rural village just to avoid gays and an angry child.
I don't aspire to live like or emulate people millions of years ago or their dated traditions. Nah...
I used the word "barbaric" as an insult but I see it's quite literal. You seriously believe in referring to adapting archaic, barabric behaviors as parents instead of actually engaging with your kids on your own.
You don't have to "make it clear who the authority is" with fear. Children are biologically wired and simply forced by circumstance to seek the admiration and the connection of their parents. Every child figures out from a very early age that their parents are the only difference between them being alive and starving on the street, obviously. That doesn't mean that they are unable to speak for themselves or have their own needs, wants and feelings.that doesn't mean that you should suppress their feelings.
We have a word for parents who use their position of power to suppress or hurt their children's feelings and emotional needs. We call them "abusive" and these parents are rarely successfully at raising mentally healthy kids.
If your child is angry WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT!? Does the child not have a right to feel anger? Disappointment? Frustration? Stress? Does your child not have that right to feel those things and express it and slowly process it just like you? Does it make you uncomfortable that your child is angry? Does it bring back the trauma of your own childhood? Does it challenge the shallow ego and "authority" you felt you were entitled to as a "grown man" and a "father"?
Why does your child's anger threaten you? That's what you really need to see and understand. The fact that you feel threatened by your child's "disrespect" should say something about the trauma you endured.
You're the fukking adult. They're the child. If you feel you have to use fear and violence to maintain respect and authority to your children who inherently love you and fear losing you more than anything else on Earth there is something wrong with you man. There is nothing they can do to dominate you or get over on you and ultimately they will NEVER want to lose your support and respect. All they can do is process their feelings. So why not go through this the healthy route? That ends with a healthier resolution and a mutual respect for one another as a home and as a family?
The problem is not that the child feels anger, even if it's "disrespectful." Being immature, angry, and disrespectful is an inherent part of child behavior. it's how they learn to cop and engage with feeling anger and disappointment that the child learns from the parents.
When you beat the child for being angry and speaking up you're teaching the child two things 1) when you feel angry you engage and respond to it with rage towards others....or yourself, and 2) expressing or even confronting your feelings is "wrong" and even scary. Suppressing your feelings and going with the above is the only solution.
When your child is behaving...well...childish...as you should logically expect and understand unlesss youre some type of moron...and you respond, not with beating him or asserting authority like some type of insecure threatened bully, but by actually being a damn adult, playing the role of the adult in the situation and actually talking to your child, allowing them to express their feelings without fear, processing that anger and showing maturity until it finally passes, your child will learn and emulate from that as they grow. And they will ultimately become successful, well rounded, intellectual, emotionally healthy adults, who have way more tools about how to cope with their mental issues and emotions besides uusing violence, drugs, alcohol, sex, rage, anger, lieing, and narcissistic bullshyt. And they too will be great parents.
Did being beat when you got angry and "insulted" your mom stop you from becoming an adult who feels anger and even retaliated with insults? Did it stop me from enjoyjng internet porn and getting brainwashed with sex fantasy at a premature age? No, and in fact those parenting skills did a great job retaining those behaviors in us as we weren't actually taught how to deal with it. We were just beaten and silenced. That is NOT PARENTING and it DOES NOT PRODUCE RESULTS.
Again kids don't learn from what you say, they learn from what you do and how you engage with them. No engagement, no learning, no growth, no maturation. Your child will just become another grown man who still has no idea how to deal with his issues. But then again you were raised to believe that violent rage towards anything that bothers you is being "grown."
Hell yes we should always be thinking of new ways to function as a society, solve issues, raise kids, educate kids, run government, promote peace and equality. Hell yes. What type of anti-intellecttual shyt is that?
The kids you see on the street who are "disrespectful" and detestable and messed up and who we don't want any of our kids to end up didn't come from loving parents who listened to them and allowed them to express their feelings. They didnt end up where they are because they had kind parents that allowed them "walk all over them" and "didnt establishs who the authority is." Oh no. They came from households just like the ones you idealize, hardcore. Where they were surrounded by childish egos confused with being "grown" and parents, and where rage and violence was confused with parenting and problem solving. Parents that thought strict discipline produces good results and are so confused why their son is messed up, in jail, and can't figure out how to solve issues without irrational violence that gets them in trouble.
at the replies here like kids can reason like individuals who have perspective. Especially in th US where these kids grow up in the most entitled society in history.
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When are you going back though?