Thoughts on Physical Punishment of Children?

[3rdWorld]

These kids today are out of control because theyre being raised by kids themselves.

I notice that my generation (the parents of todays teens) etc do not raise their own kids the way we were brought up..they are too soft with them, and I can see their kids turning to shyt right before my eyes.

 

[SupaDupaFresh]

If getting spanked by your parents (not beaten to the point of injury) didn't help black folks, I'm sure black folks *not* spanking these little demons will help.

If every black mother and father in America made a commitment to completely abandon spanking and find other means of engaging with their kids--means that take actual work, engagement, and doesn't always satisfy your ego--I can promise you it would improve the mental health, physical health, quality of life, school performance, job performance, futures, potentials, self-esteem, and overall quality of life of our entire youth. And if the next generation don't even know what it feels like to go through that barbaric behavior and convince yourself it's doing something for you; the only thing they saw and learned about discipline an dealing with difficulties from their own parents is how to be patient, emotionally grounded, intellectual, and higher minded than just turning to anger and rage, than they won't know how to treat their kids any other way. And I can promise you the quality of our communities, the crime rates, the underperforming in schools, the lack of motivation about careers and life, the infatuation with running the streets and having a gun and gangbanging, it would all disappear and we would be a far more competitive people.

But hey what does little old me know. Keep beating your kids. You mom did it and she must've been perfect right? I'm sure all that pain and agony is building such great character and intellect about life.

 

[GhettoTeK]

I pop mine and explain afterwards no issues. My child says sorry real quick before they fukk up as my child grows too old for spankings I will teach them what consequences are even if they reap what they sowed every action is a reaction, be a fukk up if you want to…I’m nonchalant as fukk my mother was to me and I grew up fine and understood what consequences are at an early age

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

Some of y’all are acting like kids who get spanked automatically learn the lesson, and don’t repeat the behavior. Most kids who get hit, will do the same wrong things, and keep getting hit. So no, it isn’t effective as a long term method. It may stop the behavior in the moment, but it’s only a matter of time before they do something else. And “because I say so” is not an acceptable answer to kids asking why they have to, or can’t do something.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

I pop mine and explain afterwards no issues. My child says sorry real quick before they fukk up as my child grows too old for spankings I will teach them what consequences are even if they reap what they sowed every action is a reaction, be a fukk up if you want to…I’m nonchalant as fukk my mother was to me and I grew up fine and understood what consequences are at an early age

You put the dead smilie, as if it’s funny your child fears pain from you. You then say your mother was nonchalant, and you turned out fine. You also say mother, and not father, which means he probably wasn’t around. Perhaps, your mother isn’t the best example of how to parent. A lot of us don’t want to admit our parents could have done a better job. You don’t know what your life would have become, and the person you could have been had your mother nurtured you, and disciplined you without physical pain.

 

[SupaDupaFresh]

These kids today are out of control because theyre being raised by kids themselves.

I notice that my generation (the parents of todays teens) etc do not raise their own kids the way we were brought up..they are too soft with them, and I can see their kids turning to shyt right before my eyes.

The fact you see maturity in adults who act like total barbarians when something makes them upset or doesn't happen their way, but see adults who can actually engage with their children, emotionally, as being childish itself, speaks volumes about the problem in our communities. There is nothing impressive about a parent that beats their children. NOTHING. It takes no maturity or intellect or thought whatsoever to beat another person when you feel uncomfortable. It takes tremendous maturity and intellect and thought to do the latter. If you were raised around people who took to beatings and spankings to raise you, you were raised by lazy abusers that weren't fit for the job and didn't grow at all from it. That's it.

There's a reason this shyt is looked down upon by everyone. There's a reason mother dearest can come home, throw a fit and act like a total violent immature idiot towards her own kids when something don't go her way, but when she gets to work she has to shut fukk up and show some actual maturity with her coworkers and managers. Because the shyt ain't mature or productive. She has to actually behave like an adult just to keep a roof over her head, which frustrates her childish nature even more.

So she holds it in and waits til she gets home to take out that anger on others and start arguments with her man and kids as it's the only way she learned from her own parents how to relieve her immature handle of her life and her emotions. And then mamas boys call this great parenting and look at it endearingly, forever oblivious to the fact that you were just a convenient punching bag for someone who, as you says, behaves like a child themselves, and couldn't be bothered to learn or do more.

Those parent's aren't' too soft. They've figure out many ways to discipline their children. These are people who have actually studied and researched the science behind child behavior and parenting instead of just winging it based on how their idiot parents acted. What you see these "soft" parents doing is the real groundwork of parenting that spanking can never replace or do better.

Thank God more people of my generation take mental health and behavioral health more seriously than our parents who just read the damn Bible, emulated their parents, and called it a day. Thank God that shyt is dead and more and more of our youth are learning to think for themselves, take control of their lives, learn the science of parenting, and engage with intellect and knowledge instead of relying on and honoring bad examples and horrid traditions that trace back to freaking slave masters. Thank GOD this generation is smarter than the last. Just too bad for the mamas boys that still wanna be like their parents.

 

[RadaMillz]

It really depends on the situation, if it's something that has detrimental effect on their future and I tried the gentle parenting first, I wouldn't hesitate to get that belt.

luckily, my little nephews and niece are just sweet kids.

 

[GhettoTeK]

You put the dead smilie, as if it’s funny your child fears pain from you. You then say your mother was nonchalant, and you turned out fine. You also say mother, and not father, which means he probably wasn’t around. Perhaps, your mother isn’t the best example of how to parent. A lot of us don’t want to admit our parents could have done a better job. You don’t know what your life would have become, and the person you could have been had your mother nurtured you, and disciplined you without physical pain.

My folks were married before I was born it is funny how my child corrects their self because they know better and know how to act I don’t even have to hit my child it’s my tone that sets them straight same with my folks I didn’t endure pain like you mentioned Sounds like you have a personal vendetta with your folks, maybe you should go to church and pray that you can forgive them

 

[Son Goku]

If every black mother and father in America made a commitment to completely abandon spanking and find other means of engaging with their kids--means that take actual work, engagement, and doesn't always satisfy your ego--I can promise you it would improve the mental health, physical health, quality of life, school performance, job performance, futures, potentials, self-esteem, and overall quality of life of our entire youth. And if the next generation don't even know what it feels like to go through that barbaric behavior and convince yourself it's doing something for you; the only thing they saw and learned about discipline an dealing with difficulties from their own parents is how to be patient, emotionally grounded, intellectual, and higher minded than just turning to anger and rage, than they won't know how to treat their kids any other way. And I can promise you the quality of our communities, the crime rates, the underperforming in schools, the lack of motivation about careers and life, the infatuation with running the streets and having a gun and gangbanging, it would all disappear and we would be a far more competitive people.

But hey what does little old me know. Keep beating your kids. You mom did it and she must've been perfect right? I'm sure all that pain and agony is building such great character and intellect about life.

You obviously didn't read my first post, and that's cool.

 

[GhettoTeK]

My folks were married before I was born it is funny how my child corrects their self because they know better and know how to act I don’t even have to hit my child it’s my tone that sets them straight same with my folks I didn’t endure pain like you mentioned Sounds like you have a personal vendetta with your folks, maybe you should go to church and pray that you can forgive them

You put the dead smilie, as if it’s funny your child fears pain from you. You then say your mother was nonchalant, and you turned out fine. You also say mother, and not father, which means he probably wasn’t around. Perhaps, your mother isn’t the best example of how to parent. A lot of us don’t want to admit our parents could have done a better job. You don’t know what your life would have become, and the person you could have been had your mother nurtured you, and disciplined you without physical pain.

My father wasn’t around because he was busy being the bread winner I forgot to mention I grew up pretty good, in a nice suburban neighborhood and was an honor roll student because my father made sure of it. What about you?

 

[3rdWorld]

The fact you see maturity in adults who act like total barbarians when something makes them upset or doesn't happen their way, but see adults who can actually engage with their children, emotionally, as being childish itself, speaks volumes about the problem in our communities. There is nothing impressive about a parent that beats their children. NOTHING. It takes no maturity or intellect or thought whatsoever to beat another person when you feel uncomfortable. It takes tremendous maturity and intellect and thought to do the latter. If you were raised around people who took to beatings and spankings to raise you, you were raised by lazy abusers that weren't fit for the job and didn't grow at all from it. That's it.

There's a reason this shyt is looked down upon by everyone. There's a reason mother dearest can come home, throw a fit and act like a total violent immature idiot towards her own kids when something don't go her way, but when she gets to work she has to shut fukk up and show some actual maturity with her coworkers and managers. Because the shyt ain't mature or productive. She has to actually behave like an adult just to keep a roof over her head, which frustrates her childish nature even more.

So she holds it in and waits til she gets home to take out that anger on others and start arguments with her man and kids as it's the only way she learned from her own parents how to relieve her immature handle of her life and her emotions. And then mamas boys call this great parenting and look at it endearingly, forever oblivious to the fact that you were just a convenient punching bag for someone who, as you says, behaves like a child themselves, and couldn't be bothered to learn or do more.

Those parent's aren't' too soft. They've figure out many ways to discipline their children. These are people who have actually studied and researched the science behind child behavior and parenting instead of just winging it based on how their idiot parents acted. What you see these "soft" parents doing is the real groundwork of parenting that spanking can never replace or do better.

Thank God more people of my generation take mental health and behavioral health more seriously than our parents who just read the damn Bible, emulated their parents, and called it a day. Thank God that shyt is dead and more and more of our youth are learning to think for themselves, take control of their lives, learn the science of parenting, and engage with intellect and knowledge instead of relying on and honoring bad examples and horrid traditions that trace back to freaking slave masters. Thank GOD this generation is smarter than the last. Just too bad for the mamas boys that still wanna be like their parents.

The methods used to raised children were developed by humanity over many millenia, and they worked well up until modern man from America inthe 20 century decided to completely upend everything.
Now you cannot discipline a child the traditional way by making clear who the authority is..you have to beg and plead and deal with insults in the process. That will never yield results, and it shows. The new modern way is failing, and the results are plain to see. You cannot embrace every new thing under the idea of creating a progressive society.

Physical punishment has existed long before people even arrived in America, and now suddenly you want to claim that for 99% of humanity's existence people were wrong and everyone must embrace the new way..the new way also includes accommodating gays and trannies, men stepping aside so women can lead, parents failing to enforce proper discipline.

 

[L@CaT]

If you’ve raised good kids you shouldn’t have to physically discipline.

But if you’ve raised bad ones, the belt sometimes has to come out when they test you.

There was 4 or 5 year period where I can say I was a bad kid, and physically disciplining me was probably the option.

 

[SupaDupaFresh]

Some of y’all are acting like kids who get spanked automatically learn the lesson, and don’t repeat the behavior. Most kids who get hit, will do the same wrong things, and keep getting hit. So no, it isn’t effective as a long term method. It may stop the behavior in the moment, but it’s only a matter of time before they do something else. And “because I say so” is not an acceptable answer to kids asking why they have to, or can’t do something.

Breh...brehhhh these traumatized mamas boys don't even know what you saying...So self-loathing from all those internalized beatings they can't even imagine that they could have developed into a well adjusted child or adult on their own--in fact better than however they feel they turned out anyway--if they weren't beaten mercilessly into it.

Ima get real personal real quick for a second.

I'll never forget the first time I got caught looking at internet porn. I was probably 13. Probably the most appropriate age for a young man to become curious about sex and girls, and probably the most important time for adults to be actively involved in their growth--not just as authorities but as trusted confidante. And it didn't help that my mother was paranoid about me having friends or going outside.

I was of course beaten out of my mind, banned from using the computer for whatever amount of time, and then sent off to my room to feel ashamed and horrible and I guess know to "never do that again."

THATS IT! Nothing more nothing less after that night. No talk. My parents NEVER talked to me about sexuality. Ever No engagement. No conversation. No true "lesson." No nothing but rage, anger and confusion.

Now did simply beating and punishing me instead of actually talking to me and making some sense of the situation stop me from being a horny adolescent teenager? NO! Did it stop me from still feeling an intense new interest in sex and women's bodies and now porn? fukk NO! Did it teach me anything? No it fukking did not. The only thing I learned from that ass whooping was how I got caught and how to not get caught next.

Any parent that actually gives a real shyt about their kids, or truly being a parent and being apart of their childs life and growth would know that this young man is going through puberty and discovering his sexuality. This is A GOOD THING. It is a natural part of his growth you cannot inhibit, or punish, or avoid. And this NEEDS to be complimented with the engagement of his parents. This ain't a job for a belt, this is the job of a parent. Sit down explain to the child that these feelings they have are natueal, biplogical, and okay. That porn serves a purpose as entertainment for adults who have already processed these feelings, but is misleading and damaging for the mind of a child, and that I am here if you if you need or want to talk about girls and sex and yourself.

Surely you do not want to fukk up your child's head during this complicated time in his life and make him feel ashamed or confused of his own God given natural sexuality and natural feelings. This is the time to give this young man the talk, grow our connection to a more mature place beyond "ima whoop you," give him the proper tools and resources he needs to learn about sex in a healthy way, and be the one person he can trust and talk to, for hours and hours every day, whenever he wants to learn about girls and sex and these new feelings. But my parents just didn't get this. They really believed being a parent is just beating. They knew NOTHING else about the job.

I was sneaking right back onto the TGP sites, this time at the right time with all my browser settings lined up. In fact I looked at porn even more throughout high school once I got caught and found a system that completely worked in avoiding getting punished. That's all I learned.

In fact I had no real idea throughout those teenage years what's wrong with liking girls and seeing them naked. What's wrong with that? I wish someone told me the damage I was doing to myself and talked to me like a man. I learned NOTHING from the experience. It was either feel ashamed of liking titties and ass or just disobey this woman who beats me and continue exploring how I feel.

Because as a young man you need to explore these natural feelings so you can relate to it in a healthy way as an adult.

And I can say now as an adult that engaging with porn at such an early age fukked me up in so many ways I am learning from, and I resent my mother for it. She did not protect me and she hardly raised me. She left me with a computer and video games to be my damn baby sitter every day because she couldn't be bothered with the real work of engaging with her children. She solved every problem with just fear and violence and control. But no true work. She left me to discover life, including sex, on my own instead of showing even the mildest curiosity about being more as a parent than just fearful authority eager to beat others. Even when presented with a situation where engagement and conversation is required she went the lazy route and left it at that. And for that I suffered so much for a long time

The problem is so many parents out here don't understand children need YOU in their lives. Not what you "provide for them" like the video games and Ipads. They need YOU. A kid would rather have a close and comfortable relationship with his mother or father than a phone. And Children don't do what their parents tell them, they do what their parents do. It's all they will know until they make their own choices.

 

[F*ckthemkids]

Sometimes kids test boundaries. I know I did, and when it happened I was corrected. I had cousins though that had a hand raised to them every time they did anything their parent(s) didn’t like and I have to admit they’re a bit stunted. Every interaction with them carries and element of tension because they only know conflict. Weird thing is these same parents are confused about where this deep seeded anger comes from. There is only so many times you can tell a child something before they require physical discipline, and it should never be the first line of defense.

 

[2 Up 2 Down]

No, I have a 7-year-old and have not had to spank/beat or use any form of corporal punishment. Studies have shown doing so leads to further behavioral problems. There really is no justification for it. Black people need to let go of that slave bullshyt. Then we wonder why so many of us are violent and have no form of conflict resolution.

@Matt504 @OfTheCross

Teaching kids to solve problems with violence