This is literal mental illness.
-She mentions she was treated like "a stupid black bytch" and kinda agreed thats how she was acting.
-She mentions her friend telling her she embarrased herself in the grocery store to the dude who was treating her like "a stupid black bytch" and her friend told her she was acting like how she was being treated.
-She also mentioned she was raped by the same white dude after embarrassing herself in the store.
-She then says nobody wants to talk to her (her parents, friends, therapist) about this because they don't understand and would also call her "a stupid black bytch".
-And she wishes she didn't hate herself growing up.
I've said this before on here n ima say it again. Black folk who use "Black" as a negative adjective towards themselves or other black people are sick in the head.
This phrase that she using was internalized before a white boy even looked her way.