The joke is.. I used to write rhymes like this when I was 15. Particularly after the Matrix came out. But then I realized my flow was garbage and I wasn't saying anything profound.
Songwriting is a skill. Writing rhymes is far more poetry than prose. K-Rino's track is essentially prose spoken out loud. Respectfully, that makes it trash. And it's not even good prose.
Full sentences tend to sound terrible in rap. Especially one right after the other. It kills the intensity of the song.
In addition, this dude starts off several bars in a row using conjunctive adverbs.
"
As my thought", "
Then I stood", "
Then I told"...
Conjunctive adverbs can be clunky. Using them to start a sentence kills the immediacy of what's happening. Instead of saying "then I told him: xyz", just say "xyz" (the actual dialogue). Remove the fluff.
Great rhyming is more about being vivid and having 'darts' of imaginative shyt. Evocative phrases.
Compare how much more fluid this is:
Here come the vultures, the Mobb-laced potent rap shyt
Perhaps, kid, make it happen, start the flipping
You fukking comic, who you kidding?
My nikka's laughing, blood bathin, the world's greatest
In-famous crime-zanous
To interfere would be dangerous
Plane descent, stand clear, save your strength
That stuff is miles ahead of what K-Rino's doing.
Hope that helps.
I just replied to this in depth but lost the post. Will do so again quickly....
It's interesting how you ducked out of the challenge I offered considering you have a history of writing rhymes, very telling.
K-Rino has countless songs that are have structure in every element.
Full sentences? Big Pun did that shyt all the time, why is Big Pun trash?
You nitpicked a word that was used in a song out of masses of bars to suit your agenda, if it was an adjective fair enough but you picked out someone saying they in a story track lol. You also ignored the middle and ending of the sentence and the rhyming words, you focused on a short part there is nothing wrong with. This is a reach, this is a song to be performed, not just read, you wouldn't even noticed that shyt had it not been from the lyrics.
I don't even really know why I'm replying to you cause you ignored my last reply fully lol. If I can find my original reply to this I'll post that instead...
That isn't fluff, that is language, there's a narrative as well as speech going on.
Again you judged an artist with a 30 plus year history with over 30 projects on 1 song when you don't like story/creative tracks.
The rhyme you quoted is a completely different type of song so the comparison isn't equal at all. The rhymes in the K-Rino song are far superior.
Keep going with this if you want as let's get to the substance of the issues....
If I can find my previous post where I explained shyt in much more depth will post that, if not it will come out naturally during the discussion....
I can't believe this is the post I was supposedly ducking lol....
You having a persuasion towards simple straight forward shyt doesn't make everything else trash. It is your preference, which you are entitled to, but that trash talk is asinine and discredits you.
K-Rino has a diverse body of work and has all kinds of different rhymes and songs, so you labeling him something conclusively off 1 track is ridiculous.
Will add the customary song on to this post later...
