You can't say the name Ric Flair without someone in the room yelling out a high-pitched "WOOOO!" It's impossible. Try it the next time you're at a funeral.
The man has been in the wrestling business (fukk your "sports entertainment," it's goddamn "wrestling" -- "wrasslin'" if you're nasty) for 40 years. The guy is in better shape at age 63 than most of us will ever be at our physical peak. But even he knew that he couldn't do this forever. Even though he basically has. So a few years back, he set his sights on a non-physical retirement plan in the form of a finance and loan company. Not a bad idea, right? You invest as a partner, let the professionals handle the loans and just sit back and collect the money.
So he partnered with a few people who used his name and image to help propel the company into the spotlight. And they held nothing back. The logo featured him in the full sequined robe with his classic slicked back albino-white hair. They referred to their model as "The Figure 4 Process." They scattered ads all over the Net, featuring him in the flamboyant neon pink feather boa, doing the "WOOOOO" face. This was Ric Flair's company, and by God, he'd slap the lips off of your financial worries.
That's a pretty solid plan if finance companies weren't some of the most difficult businesses to keep alive in a shytty economy. It sounds like the opposite should be true, doesn't it? The worse off the economy, the more people need to borrow money? But it turns out that when the shyt hits the fan, people keep a tighter leash on their spending. And when they do take out a loan, the number of defaults goes through the roof -- partly because the interest rates and fees at those places are virtually criminal, and people find it impossible to keep up with the payments. This isn't speculation. My fiancee manages one of these places, and she deals with the data on a daily basis.
Ric found that out less than a year later, when the business imploded. Now, don't think this was just a case of him investing in a bad opportunity. This was something he had been planning with his wife for two years prior to diving in. He wasn't going in uneducated. The biggest problem with Ric Flair, though, is Ric Flair, and here's where the ultimate irony comes in.
He's been in a near-homeless level of financial crisis for years. He's not only buried himself under multiple years of unpaid taxes, but he's defaulted on so many loans that he finds himself in a courtroom as often as the ring. He's been known to put up his title belts as collateral for loans on more than one occasion, and then skip the payments until he faces actual jail time. Want to know how bad it's gotten? Take a few minutes to read this. It's surreal.
On the upside, Ric did find a somewhat happy ending in the form of securing a commercial deal for an energy drink. See, as consumers, we're more comfortable with this. It's easier to trust in giving a few bucks for an energy shot that makes you scream "WOOOO" than putting your financial stability in the hands of a man who routinely whipped out his cock on passenger jets.