Yeah, I agree. I know I have a problem with negative thinking, but that's what makes me, me. However, I've learned that I don't know how to be safe. I do everything to extremes. I've basically had a death wish since I was a teenager. I've done so much stupid shyt, like riding my bike with no helmet, 130mph, while drunk (
) and of course my drug and alcohol abuse as well.
This is like a turning point in my life. I've been reading and watching documentaries like crazy. I've come to realize all my music is essentially negative (I exclusively listen to "extreme" metal [death, doom. grind, black metal], and "ignorant" rap), and same with my TV watching. I'm trying to put some positive thought into my head, but it's hard. I really am a negative, depressed person. I have my psychiatric problems that probably contribute to that (I'm bipolar and normally stay on the depressed side), but stilI.... I should be able to put some positive something in my life