Essential The Official Coli Horror Film Thread: Discussion, Recommendations And Murder.

Jello Biafra

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What’s your issues? I generally like it but I have an issue with the music not being at all F13 that stops me from enjoying it as much as I should
They had no idea who/what Jason was as evidenced by them making him a fukking weed farmer and a kidnapper.

That weed crop in the beginning of the movie was well cultivated and not something that just sprung up on it's own so was Jason spending his non-murdering time tending to his weed crops? Making that "Krystal Lake Kush"?
And the fact that he kidnaps Sam from Supernatural's sister and holds her captive for months was ridiculous. The chick looked nothing like Nana Visitor (who played Jason's mom in the opening credits montage) so he couldn't have been keeping her because she resembled his mommy so what was the plan? Was she going to become his bride? Is Jason a pervert who keeps sex slaves on top of all his other faults? That shyt was dumb as hell.

The totally unnecessary need to explain how Jason always seemed to end up in front of people he was chasing by revealing that someone built mining shaft tunnels next to a big ass lake and then built a children's camp on top of it was mind-numbingly stupid. You build mining tunnels next to a lake and all you are doing is creating a network of underground trails for the lake to eventually flood which then would make the entirety of the surrounding area turn into one big sinkhole.

Killing Danielle Panebaker's character "Jenna" in the way they did. I was cool with the movie having the perceived Final Girl have a shocking death but the way they killed the Jenna character was the lamest way possible to do it. I did some research on this one and it turns out they wanted to give her a more epic death but ran out of money so she got killed like she was an unnamed extra. If they would've just killed the Whitney character in the beginning of the film and not have Jason keep her as his concubine then maybe they could've done what they had planned for Jenna's death.

Finally the casting of Jared Padalecki. Dude is the same height as the guy they hired to play Jason and during this time period Jared was on some ridiculous fitness regime where he got all swole because he was auditioning for the leads in the Conan remake and Man of Steel. So you have Jason squaring off with this moose of a human being and it just looked odd to me. Jason's supposed to be physically imposing but next to Padalecki he just looked normal and the movie didn't do much to hide the fact that their monster killer was up against a guy just as big as him. I mean how much would it have cost to grab a box for Jason to stand on when in scenes with Padalecki?

Honestly, my favorite part of the movie was the retelling of the original Friday the 13th flick during the credits. I would've preferred to see them remake that movie with Nana Visitor as Pam Voorhees because I loved glimpse of her I was given there.
 

Jello Biafra

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I watched this movie on Shudder this morning called Emelie. It was pretty good.
Sarah Bolger was awesome as the babysitter from hell.

slH05wH.jpg



The movie really should've been called "fukk Them Kids" though.

zUhEv3r.jpg
 
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They had no idea who/what Jason was as evidenced by them making him a fukking weed farmer and a kidnapper.

That weed crop in the beginning of the movie was well cultivated and not something that just sprung up on it's own so was Jason spending his non-murdering time tending to his weed crops? Making that "Krystal Lake Kush"?
And the fact that he kidnaps Sam from Supernatural's sister and holds her captive for months was ridiculous. The chick looked nothing like Nana Visitor (who played Jason's mom in the opening credits montage) so he couldn't have been keeping her because she resembled his mommy so what was the plan? Was she going to become his bride? Is Jason a pervert who keeps sex slaves on top of all his other faults? That shyt was dumb as hell.

The totally unnecessary need to explain how Jason always seemed to end up in front of people he was chasing by revealing that someone built mining shaft tunnels next to a big ass lake and then built a children's camp on top of it was mind-numbingly stupid. You build mining tunnels next to a lake and all you are doing is creating a network of underground trails for the lake to eventually flood which then would make the entirety of the surrounding area turn into one big sinkhole.

Killing Danielle Panebaker's character "Jenna" in the way they did. I was cool with the movie having the perceived Final Girl have a shocking death but the way they killed the Jenna character was the lamest way possible to do it. I did some research on this one and it turns out they wanted to give her a more epic death but ran out of money so she got killed like she was an unnamed extra. If they would've just killed the Whitney character in the beginning of the film and not have Jason keep her as his concubine then maybe they could've done what they had planned for Jenna's death.

Finally the casting of Jared Padalecki. Dude is the same height as the guy they hired to play Jason and during this time period Jared was on some ridiculous fitness regime where he got all swole because he was auditioning for the leads in the Conan remake and Man of Steel. So you have Jason squaring off with this moose of a human being and it just looked odd to me. Jason's supposed to be physically imposing but next to Padalecki he just looked normal and the movie didn't do much to hide the fact that their monster killer was up against a guy just as big as him. I mean how much would it have cost to grab a box for Jason to stand on when in scenes with Padalecki?

Honestly, my favorite part of the movie was the retelling of the original Friday the 13th flick during the credits. I would've preferred to see them remake that movie with Nana Visitor as Pam Voorhees because I loved glimpse of her I was given there.
:ehh: All good points
 

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They had no idea who/what Jason was as evidenced by them making him a fukking weed farmer and a kidnapper.

That weed crop in the beginning of the movie was well cultivated and not something that just sprung up on it's own so was Jason spending his non-murdering time tending to his weed crops? Making that "Krystal Lake Kush"?
:deadmanny:

This right here is what Legendary posts are made of!

:salute:
 

Jello Biafra

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:ehh: All good points
The tunnels was probably the thing that irked me the most. Not everything needs to be explained and it seems like all the folks who do these remakes feel this urgent need to explain things about these slasher characters and their explanations always suck.
 

Nicole0416_718_929_646212

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This movie left me like
:dahell::dwillhuh:
MV5BYjIzZDBhOWQtZDE0YS00YjIxLWE4YjktZTczN2FhYTdiOWFmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQ3NjQxMjY@._V1_.jpg

Becoming is a supernatural thriller about Alex (Toby Kebbell) and Lisa (Penelope Mitchell), a couple newly engaged and deeply in love. While on a road trip, they encounter an ancient evil force that chooses Alex as its new host and begins to slowly take over his mind and body, gradually transforming him into someone terrifying and violent. The changes are small at first. His handwriting. His body language. As Alex struggles with the horror of losing his identity, Lisa notices the shifts in the man she thought she loved. Is he falling out of love with her, or is it something far, far worse? Lisa tracks down Kevin (Jason Patric), a damaged survivor of the entity who has dedicated his life to defeating it. Together, they must outwit an indestructible malevolence that doesn't want to destroy Alex, it wants to be him.
 

Nicole0416_718_929_646212

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Blumhouse is still taking no losses
Blumhouse Body Swap Horror Comedy ‘Freaky’ On Its Way To $4M Weekend B.O. Opening
SATURDAY AM UPDATE: Universal/[URL='https://deadline.com/tag/blumhouse/']Blumhouse’s genre body swap comedy Freaky, starring Vince Vaughn, took in $1.45M yesterday, including Thursday night previews ~$200K, on what looks to be a $4M opening at 2,472 theaters.

Universal, the only major Hollywood studio putting out consistent fresh wide product during the pandemic, can claim a three-week streak at No. 1 between Focus’ Come Play over Halloween weekend, that label’s Let Him Go last weekend, and the parent studio’s Freaky this weekend.


[/URL]
 

Jello Biafra

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I really want to see Freaky but there is no way I'm stepping foot inside a movie theater with the way COVID is surging in this country.
 

Nicole0416_718_929_646212

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Y’all have me kind of hyped about this - I may drag one of my friends to the 11pm showing when no one is in the theater
The Most Purely Enjoyable Horror Movie Made in Years — The Atlantic


Millie (played by Kathryn Newton) is a petite, blond high schooler with an awkward streak—the kind of character who’d traditionally be the victim in a horror movie. Since the slasher genre began in earnest in the late 1970s, Hollywood has made countless films about hulking male serial killers preying on teenagers, but it’s still rare to see the reverse. Christopher Landon’s new film, Freaky, achieves that turnaround through an old narrative trick, magically placing the mind of a murderer in the body of the young woman he’s targeting. But the goofiness of the plot device doesn’t undo the movie’s symbolic power.

Freaky begins with a gory cavalcade of murder as an imposing masked psychopath called the Blissfield Butcher (Vince Vaughn) sweeps through a mansion full of partying teens before swiping a mystical, ancient-looking knife
 

Nicole0416_718_929_646212

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I really want to see Freaky but there is no way I'm stepping foot inside a movie theater with the way COVID is surging in this country.
That. But I’m in a town right now where I doubt anyone will be in the theater at 11pm to see a horror movie - maybe like 2-4 people at best. Rarely see anyone outside after 10pm on a regular day this way
:mjlol:
 
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