@Trust Me
You're hurt brah. It's okay. I'm almost certain if y'all would've won even just 1 game in the last 7 years, maybe competed for 1 National Title, you wouldn't be running around here crying for the last month about nikkas dropping bags off. Your AD is incompetent because they let cha mans run around running using two TEs and two RBs as the basis for his offense when even dudes like Saban has adapted to more of a speed and/or spread game. Most programs would force a coach to fire his coordinator for the type of performance (or lack thereof) y'all put up most recently since you all have essentially been banging your heads against the wall praying one day it will actually crumble on some dumb shyt.
You really think that if you SCum are in fact paying them sorry ass players, its only a "couple hundred dollar handshakes" then I got a bridge to sell you. If you believe theyre capable of even doing that, small as it would be, its still illegal, so why wouldnt they go all out and dig into them boxes those old white men with the golden tickets as you mentioned?