Yes, we should all think of that.
I don’t want to sound like a twat, but I just…You know, I do think that we’ve all got a responsibility. I just do.
No, you’re right, we do. We all do. Why did you have him, then?
Sorry?
Nothing uses carbon like a first-world human. Yet you created one.
Er…
Why? Why would you do that? He will produce 515 tonnes of carbon in his lifetime. That’s 40 trucks’ worth. Having him was the equivalent of nearly 6,500 flights to Paris. You could have flown 90 times a year, there and back, nearly every week of your life, and still not had the same impact on the planet as his birth had.
Yeah, but I don’t think…
Not to mention the pesticides, detergents, the huge quantity of plastics, the nuclear fuels used to keep him warm. His birth was a selfish act. It was brutal. You have condemned all this to suffering. In fact, if you really cared what you’d do is cut his throat open right now.
Excuse me?
Or I could do it for you. I could take out my knife, make an incision in his neck, walk away. I’d get my coach over there and you would have done more than your bit for the future of humanity.
I could do it now. But look at me chatting. I think they’re about to leave. I hope he gets over that flu. But maybe he just shouldn’t.