my biggest problem is, im just big. so i gotta try harder without coming off as thirsty.
Focus on yourself first and foremost.
Work on getting yourself to a place where you are content with where you are.
Get your own affairs in order before trying to add a woman to the mix because I promise you...she will only complicate things.
You've got a talent you can develop, refine, and transform into a marketable skill.
Accomplishing that transition will be far more fulfilling than any fleeting relation with a woman because you will have done something for yourself and not simply to attract the butterflies that land on anything in bloom.