SeveroDrgnfli
Ain't nobody tryin to get indicted.
Growing up I remember knowing I didn't have a dad.
I've never said this out loud.
I wanted a dad so bad. When I was a kid I imagined what my dad looked like and what kind of person he was. I wanted to make him proud because I felt like he'd come get me.
I wanted him to come save me. I imagined my dad being a professional hero. I imaged my dad as a fire fighter, cop, doctor, or politican. I imagined my dad as an athletic, charming, and fair person.
I realize I tried to be perfect because maybe my imaginary perfect dad would come get his perfect son. My dad never came and he was never proud of me. I'm not perfect.
My mom makes me feel like a failure. I can't fukk with her at all. She makes me feel like that scared kid again. I do not like going to that space.
My girlfriends loved me as I loved them. What made me love them was that they told me they were proud of me. They showed me affection and they needed me.
I'm a man now. I'm 27 years old. I've been taking care of myself for a decade. I almost had a baby and a wife. I've been in love twice and I've excelled at multiple things. I've been low and I've been high. I've had everything and nothing.
I don't need to be saved. I don't want to be saved. I don't need validation from anyone any longer.
I can't change what I come from but I can decide what I become. To do that I have to be honest with myself about my past. It wasn't pretty. Now that I'm healthy and older I see how much abuse and trauma I experienced.
Those experiences will never leave me, but I promise I will continue to grow as a person. I will never allow someone I love to not know it.
The fact that I'm capable of loving people gives me hope. I'm not all the way fukked up. My heart and soul work well.
My dad gave me a gift. I have the opportunity to start a family. I can decide what traditions and morals my family practices.
My life is an adventure and I love it. I don't see myself changing pace for anyone ever again. When I finish school I'm going to hit the road as a travelling cook. I'll settle down wherever I like the most.
I'm going to take my bike and underwear with me. Hahaha, that's all I need in this world. I love cooking, I love cycling, and I like following my heart wherever it takes me.
I've never said this out loud.
I wanted a dad so bad. When I was a kid I imagined what my dad looked like and what kind of person he was. I wanted to make him proud because I felt like he'd come get me.
I wanted him to come save me. I imagined my dad being a professional hero. I imaged my dad as a fire fighter, cop, doctor, or politican. I imagined my dad as an athletic, charming, and fair person.
I realize I tried to be perfect because maybe my imaginary perfect dad would come get his perfect son. My dad never came and he was never proud of me. I'm not perfect.
My mom makes me feel like a failure. I can't fukk with her at all. She makes me feel like that scared kid again. I do not like going to that space.
My girlfriends loved me as I loved them. What made me love them was that they told me they were proud of me. They showed me affection and they needed me.
I'm a man now. I'm 27 years old. I've been taking care of myself for a decade. I almost had a baby and a wife. I've been in love twice and I've excelled at multiple things. I've been low and I've been high. I've had everything and nothing.
I don't need to be saved. I don't want to be saved. I don't need validation from anyone any longer.
I can't change what I come from but I can decide what I become. To do that I have to be honest with myself about my past. It wasn't pretty. Now that I'm healthy and older I see how much abuse and trauma I experienced.
Those experiences will never leave me, but I promise I will continue to grow as a person. I will never allow someone I love to not know it.
The fact that I'm capable of loving people gives me hope. I'm not all the way fukked up. My heart and soul work well.
My dad gave me a gift. I have the opportunity to start a family. I can decide what traditions and morals my family practices.
My life is an adventure and I love it. I don't see myself changing pace for anyone ever again. When I finish school I'm going to hit the road as a travelling cook. I'll settle down wherever I like the most.
I'm going to take my bike and underwear with me. Hahaha, that's all I need in this world. I love cooking, I love cycling, and I like following my heart wherever it takes me.
you ready to talk about what's really on your mind?
So fukk that, I'm going to pick another color, find some eses and have them finish the job. Painting is some bullshyt.
