I have failed you, my beloved.
The errors of a youthful mind, in the actions of a naive mind have I pushed you far from me..
The nights have now greeted me with it's cold embrace, the sun provides me with no warmth in it's morning grace...I am lost in these lonely, barren halls, there is no light in my heart.
I have realized the importance that your love had brought me, a lesson learned in tears and personal growth provided in pain.
A ha! What good is strength for the blind? What good is my riches if I am lost in a perpetual darkness?
My misery is complete in your absence, my heart broken in pieces before men..
Oh beloved! Your love was a light unto me, it was what helped me navigate this abyss. It was the gift that gave me wings to soar, it gave me strength..
You were there, right there...with a smile that penetrated the veil of my sadness and revived a soul that was battered by pain from a world that does not forgive.
How late I am to give praise? To give my appreciation for such a great gift? How foolish is my heart that I had exalted myself in my own pride? For as soon as I had claimed the victory that I had welcomed strangers to sit in your space?
I had found no pleasure in these women..who smell of roses and of pleasant things but snarl at me in secret like dogs!
One shows the breasts, the other her thigh, another dances with the ghost of seduction and the other covers my body in kisses. I am surrounded by pleasure, I am encased in the epicenter of beauty.
Yet, their tongues are surely gilded in gold and their mouths constantly shower lies upon me, they know only to deceive..they love me not and I am not satisfied with their flatteries.
They rob me daily of my strength and leave me at night, when the memory of you haunts me the most. They would trade me sons and daughters for gold and silver, they would trade me pleasures for estates and notoriety. Ultimately, my destruction would mean nothing to them.
You asked nothing of me but gave everything and in spite I left you for a temporal glory and power, a seat situated in fire.
Am I that much of a fool that my glory has bought me nothing but sadness and has been dimmed.. Where are you beloved?