Today is my oldest daughter's father birthday. She (nor I) have spoken to him since January 15 (she asked about the Christmas gift he "supposedly" ordered online and delivered to her but never received, mind you we live in the same city
) and before that was the day after Christmas when he asked if she wanted to come visit. She said no she was just coming to get her gifts then come home (that's when he lied about having it mailed, she didn't go see him).
Wel anyways, I told her his birthday was today and I asked was she gonna call him and wish him a happy birthday? She told me no because he never calls her or would return her calls when she called him. Last time she tried to call was back in January.
She's 12 now and their relationship has been strained for a few years as she's becoming her own person. She's pretty vocal about what she doesn't like and stands her ground when it comes to doing something she doesn't agree with. (Something I've instilled in my kids) It's been times where him and his wife would talk about how they don't like her dreads, me coloring her hair, what she wears, how she's stubborn and I would have to intervene because my husband and I were the only ones she would talk to. It was their way or no way at all because she's a child and doesn't have a choice, that obviously never sat well with my kid lol.
Last year she asked his mother to take her to dave and busters, she told her only way she would take her was if she wore a dress and went to church. My daughter said no because those are 2 things she hates. G-Ma comes back with 'She this is why I can't do nice things for you because you won't dress like a girl'. This bytch
. I told her dad and he said that's how my momma is. Nah nikka you need to check that shyt.
. I had to call her myself and she wouldn't answer so I went off on her via text. You such a p*ssy ass nikka you wouldn't even stand up for your own daughter.
Anyways, I don't ask her to see him or call anymore. He picked up for Thanksgiving for a photo opp and to parade her around his family (another situation where they picked an outfit she was uncomfortable with) and the next day she called me to pick her up because he refused to bring her home. I tried to help keep the relationship going but I guess he's hands off now. Its cool, my husband fills that father role for her without missing a beat. He's the reason she enjoys marvel/D.C./comic shyt or watches any and every new movie that hits theaters. Their relationship is dope as fukk.
Just know, it ain't always the momma keeping these kids away. These dudes are making decisions to not be present on their on, probably with influence from their momma or wife.