Yesterday I had a revelation about my flirtatious behavior. I was sitting in a room with three girls I'm talking to.
Girls pretend they don't want to date but I know THEY ALL get mad if they see me talking to another girl. Although they don't want to date. It's hilarious.
Anyway, I'm sitting in this room surrounded by girls I'm talking to. I knew if I said anything to any of them they'd all notice and catch feelings so I didn't say anything to any of them. I didn't even look at them.
It never surprises me how selfish and rude people can be. It's part of the game so I'm used to it. Only of them attempted to say anything to me.
I always check up on people. I always compliment people. I try to be motivational and give people productive energy.
I gotta start spending more time with people recognize I have feelings and I feel like being polite and want to give me energy.
One girl yesterday kept commenting on my mood. At first I was annoyed she thought she could understand the complexity of my emotions. She would not me loose my temper. Lol she yelled at me, which I hate, when I was furious, nobody sane person does that, and she calmed me down.
I could tell she undrstood a nikka, and didn't want me to be upset over some BS. She talked me out of jumping off a building last night. She explained to me how I feel and why I feel the way I do.
We smoked a cigarette together in the rain and I listened to her talk. I could listen to her talk forever. Which is rare because rarely do I listen to people when they speak.
I didn't say much. I just listened to her. We eventually ended up cuddle hugging for a bit.
I think I'm going to stop. It's going to be hard but I'm done with girls who just want to fukk. I'm a person with feelings and dreams. I need girls around me who respect that and are willing to give me some energy.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm done flirting. I'm retiring from the game. It's funny, at the end of day men and women want the same things if they're healthy.
Doesn't matter what you look like for the most part. Be supportive and respectful. Also super chill.
I don't know why people do each other so dirty. I'm a low life scum bag, but I really do care about people. Sometimes I feel like the only one.