I swear to fukking God, there's no more frustrating than not being able to resolve an issue myself. I really fukking want to fling myself off a cliff or set myself on fire. It'd feel better than how I'm feeling right now. I don't understand why I can't do things that most people are pretty good at.
It's frustrating. I can jump over a fukking child and I'm an old man. But I can't do anything in visual art that I like.
I can talk my way into a job I shouldn't have but I can't make what I see in real life. I want to put my head through a wall right now. Hopefully I hit a stud and am left in a coma for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure I'm retarded. I've seen first graders do this shyt. It's incredibly frustrated to have skills, but not the skills I want right now.
I'm all for learning new shyt, but the fukking process of learning it at the level I want to execute it at makes me want to die.
fukk!