Im angry as fukk right now.
And yo Im tired like seriously, Im tired of getting these horrible depressive episodes which is making my feet cringe. Even the weed isnt helping. Its hard to believe that ive dealt with this horrible emotional shyt since i was 12. Its been chronic. Honestly, i thought that in time it would make it go away or i would grow out of it but damn this shyt really never goes away.
I just learned how to function with it but theres times when that shyt is really getting the better of me like now. Then i start having the wrong thoughts i dont need to have. Then i get angry as fukk thinking about certain people and certain things then we are back to square one where I talked myself off the ledge. I refuse to give up because yours truly REALLY has haters out here that want to see me fail. Like yo theres people who dont think ill amount to shyt and theyre hoping to see me either locked up or dead. Ive FELT the hate to know that shyt. One of the few things thats keeping me going is hope and its just hope for a better tomorrow even if i dont really have anything to look forward to to be honest but thats that depression speaking. Ive been down on myself for a long time and its funny seeing when other folks try to take shots, trying to make me feel even worse about myself. But Im going to okay though. Im a survivor.
I guess I had to admit that to myself.