fukk autism. This shyt really is frustrating to deal with. It really is. Im having trouble registering my current emotions and speaking my mind. And i experience ntense emotions too. Sometimes on some real extremes. It doesnt take much to trigger my anger and when i get angry, i cant control it.
The crazy thing is that ive always have experienced this but prior to my diagnosis, i thought this was normal or at least for me it was. It was and is the norm for me to be moody, nervous, oversharing stuff, having no filter, social awkwardness, maintaining eye contact, social isolation, stimming and etc. I grew up thinking that i was a neurotypical like everyone else even though other people treated me differently or made me feel weird.
The thing that pisses me off is because i am high functioning where as i can walk, talk, drive, work, went to school and etc.. its almost like i dont have it but put me at home or in a social environment, its obvious. However, many people are ignorant about autism so they mistake what i may be doing for my autism to be something else or they wont give me a chance to explain because theres times when my body will act up against my will. I have trouble with body temperature regulation and i have trouble sleeping at night. Certain things activate my senses. I have synesthesia where i can hear color in sounds. Its pretty cool actually. Certain songs ill play at certain times because of colors.
For example, this song sounds light blue
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about Eminem / Tupac/ jarule
didn't know him that well, him heroine me Crack sales...
