Im such a fukking addict. Its starting to show in my personality. I cant sit still. I just consume..... alcohol, nicotine, adderall, caffeine. Caffeine is the final stage of this shyt. Im already on 2 stimulants and that combination aint hitting
This all feels like a way to circumvent a hard drug addiction. Yeah I never got addicted to heroin or coke... and I just barely managed to avoid alcoholism (I drink 4-5 days a week). But this shyt is almost as bad.
I mean what do you expect? You take a man who is expressive, emotional and seeks instant gratification... put him in a stale ass environment... then you hook him up with a dude who does coke every time he goes out. Then after all that you give him girl problems and depression.
I didnt stand a chance. Im a natural thrillseeker with no thrills around my way. So I just get stimulated and make beats or chase women. Riding it out through the summer.
Then I expect a 2 month recovery. My brain chemistry is probably permanently altered at this point. Been using nicotine for so long and drinking heavy for a year now.