SeveroDrgnfli
Ain't nobody tryin to get indicted.
I slept from 5am-5pm yesterday. I was up until 9pm. I fell asleep at 9pm and didn't wake up until 1am. That's fukking insane. I didn't feel tired, I don't remember falling asleep, and I was dreaming. I'm not hungry or thirsty. I'm calm.
As a child I had vivid nightmares. I saw demons crawling on the walls. Dolls would speak to me. I'd hear things whispering to me when I closed my eyes. I'd wake up screaming at the top of my lungs, crying, and throwing a fit. I was scared to sleep because the dreams were vivid. Not all of them were bad.
I want to be specific in the description of these dreams because they've started again. 20 years later they're back.
I'm an adult now and I'm able to articulate what I experienced while sleeping, daydreaming, or being deep in thought. By vivid I mean my body experienced what my mind was seeing while I slept. The images were not as frightening as the feelings I felt. If it was hot in my dream I'd start sweating in real life, if I got cut in my dream I'd have a cut when I woke up, if I was happy i'd wake up hella happy, and sometimes I'd have reoccurring dreams about things that were going to happen to people.
I've never told anybody this because I know how it sounds. When I told my foster parents you already know how that went. How'd you react if your young child told you the dolls talk when nobody is around and animal speak to him? I want to say animals are chill as fukk. They're funny, calm, and don't like being ignored. Interact with animals more ya'll and they'll stop lashing out. Don't talk to them like they're stupid because they're not. They understand us, we just don't understand them.
Back to the point. I admit some of my dreams were just bad dreams. My emotions I don't express in real life are expressed in my dreams. I understand now. Some of my dreams felt like memories. I'm discussing two levels of my dreams. I'll them A and B.
A is a normal dream influenced by my internalized emotions. Characteristics of these dreams are: feeling emotion strongly in real life that I experienced in the dream. Other than that there was no physical response. I barely remembered them when I woke up.
B wasn't normal IMO. B felt like memories of a life I've lived before. Sometimes I'd be viewing an event. It's like watching a movie from a random starting point. Sometimes I'd be involved in the event. I remember getting shot in the ribs in a dream. I felt the pain and it fukking hurt a lot. I woke up in hella pain, it was in my ribs. I cut school that day because of that dream. I was a nerd, so cutting school was a big ass deal. Later that day the homie told me somebody pulled out a glock in the 400 hallway, the hallway I hung out in all the time, and there was a rifle found in the bushes in front of the school.
I was a nerd but my homies were the shyt. Maybe I wasn't a nerd. I fought, smoked, and did normal shyt. I wasn't a gangster or looking for trouble. I wanted to go to college or go pro in something. But I wasn't going to let nikkas punk me. fukk that. If it's all hands it's a fair fight to me. People around were getting guns, and getting more serious about getting money. I didn't realize it wasn't fun to them like it was to me. Selling drugs and stealing shyt was never a business for me. It was fun. I wanted to be a professional. To them hustling was profession. As we became men shyt got very serious. I wasn't taking in seriously enough and I believe I almost got caught slipping real hard that year on some Ace from Paid In Full shyt. I was the plug. I was selling weight to all the dealers. Everybody was smoking my weed whether they knew it or not. I made a boss move and took losses on some zips. But my model was flip a lot for cheap rather than go for big numbers in one deal.
I knew all the dealers. We grew up together. I made them all offers they couldn't refuse. I'd front them a zip. All they had to do was bring me back what I paid. I wasn't profiting at all. So what that means is there was no cap on how much could they make and the price would never increase for them even if it changed for me. My shyt was fire too so that wasn't a problem. I'd get fronted from the big homie, I'd front it to the homies, they'd bring me back my money and that'd be it. Again, I wasn't in it for the money. Although I made money later. Sometimes they didn't bring any money back. I'd take the loss and still fukk with them. Again, I made money later.
I was a non street dude involved in some street shyt. I robbed people at gunpoint, I've pulled guns on people, had guns pulled on me, the homies started a gang. It was fun to me, I didn't know how serious this shyt was.
Anyway, after that dream I fell back hard. Bad shyt happened to everyone involved, except for me because of that dream. Life changing bad shyt. The only two people who didn't get their lives ruined are the homie and myself. He's in law school right now. We still talk. We been through a lot together. He shot someone in the face, beat the case, and had to pay hella restitution. Graduating college has been a battle for him because of his criminal record, but he's doing big things. I'm proud of him.
He started a gang, lol. We went different ways after that. He started selling everything and had a crew of goons that gave me bad vibes. I could tell they thought I was food. He kept the wolves off me because we were close. I appreciate that. Before nikkas started shooting he and I were handing out fades left and right and then going to AP Chemistry together. LOL we wouldn't fight anywhere we'd get suspended. We'd schedule the fight while class was in session or do it off-site. He and I were masterminds, real talk. We'd get a bathroom pass while we were in class. The dude we wanted to fight would too. We'd fight them in the bathroom while the homies played look out. Or we'd go to the hardest part of the school to reach, it was like a forest, and we'd fight up there.
We were robbing people at gun point, trying to pimp bytches, running from the police, and maintaining a high GPA. Idunno WTF we were thinking. I guess we wanted to see how much we could get away with. I remember the first time I saw cocaine. We had the weed game on lock and the homie wanted us to sell coke and thizz but I said no. I was the boss because I had the connect, the weed money fueled everything else. I was about hitting licks. I loved planning them. I used to steal from the school I went to. We stole the year books two years in a row and sold them for half the cost of the school. We were forging letters for people. Doing homework for money. We even started a security service for people who didn't want to fight. We weren't balling, but we had money for whatever we wanted to do, didn't have to ask our parents, and we had clout. I didn't because I was low key. But the homies were eating, and we were gang.
Real innocent shyt in my eyes. To me fukking with coke and thizz was some real gangster shyt. Weed was my line. I liked hustling, but I was never a gangster. I'm down to fight, but shooting someone isn't my style. I remember pulling guns on people and seeing them the next day at school. They were shook as fukk. I remember I pulled out on this dude at a red light, his name was kalvin, he was talking reckless about me, so I taught him a lesson. The look in his eyes made me feel guilty, he was so fukking scared, he skirted off in his car hella fast. I was laughing hella hard. LOL he and I had multiple fights from jr high through HS. I beat the breaks off that nikka multiple times and he still talked shyt. So I figured I shut him up for good.
The gang and I had a rule, anybody talking reckless about us is getting hit up. We weren't gangsters we just weren't pussies. We were always in some shyt. I got hella stories, I've been in some shyt. Our brothers were on some gangster shyt. My brother stabbed someone and was very violent. The homie's brother damn near pistol whipped someone to death in broad daylight. He was selling thizz and beefing with SOD's. They were MS13 before MS13. nikkas were shook of them. They were laying people down for looking at them. The homie wasn't in a gang he just wasn't a p*ssy. Those were our idols.
To us what we were doing was light compared to that. I had a lot negative energy in my life at that time. That dream changed my life. Maybe it saved it.
Since I started meditating and studying astronomy, astrology, and metaphysics I've been having these dreams again. They're not scary like they used to be, even when something scary happens I'm not scared. It's because my understanding of what's happening has evolved. I used to think vibes were my feelings, my feelings were my thoughts, and my thoughts were who I was.
I realize I'm highly sensitive and in open to energy. I can't control it. I can feel a lot of vibes very strongly. Lying to me is impossible. I can see who people really are without knowing me. I don't like making eye contact with people for too long because I notice them noticing me reading them. People tell me I look like I want to kill them or I feel nothing when I do it. I can't control it, some energies I explore. I realize now I leave my body frequently to interact with people in the spirit realm. My body shuts down and my mind takes over.
I've had many people throughout my life tell me I have a special soul. Not on some religious or will shyt. My actual spirit energy. I attract things to me because of it. Some lady walked up to me out of nowhere, grabbed by hands, and started praying for me. She said there's a strong darkness consuming me. I almost cried because I couldn't believe she saw what I felt. Another lady told me my spirit is conflicted and I will either destroy myself or be great. But even my destruction will be done in a grand way. My neighbors kept committing suicide. shyt was crazy. I had three neighbors commit suicide in the same house. And someone who lived in that house got hit by a train. I saw the whole thing. shyt was crazy. I felt him die. I knew his soul was in my house too. He was asking for my help. I could feel him begging for my help. Weird shyt happened in my house for months. I wasn't the only person who noticed the shyt either.
I pretended it wasn't happening because I knew people would call me crazy. I never went in that house no matter what. Some evil shyt was in that house. I could feel it anytime I went near it. I used to kick balls over the fence. The fence was hella hoppable, but I never hopped it. I just took the loss.
I got blessed by a professional holy man. Dude told me his life story because he said I'm like him and I just don't know it. I've accepted this part of myself as an adult and my life is easier. I've learned so much about myself from being open to this.
I'll tell you a secret. There is no God, but God is real. The word God is limiting to what that force is. Even describing God as love is limiting. Love comes from God but God doesn't feel anything. Emotions are lower level experiences. Love is an emotion, not an element. God is an element. God is aware of emotions because they can be strong enough to be vibes, but God doesn't have emotion. God hears us all. God speaks to us all. As do many other spirits. It's very important to know yourself so you don't become a vessel for spirit taking advantage of your physical form to experience life in this reality.
I refused to accept who I was as a kid and I suffered for it. As an adult I explore myself even if it makes me uncomfortable. I'm very comfortable with who I am and its made me calm. I can separate what's me and what's not me. Also, I know to always trust my instincts. Whenever I ignore them I take a major loss. I learned I can make shyt happen simply by focusing my energy on it.
LOL when I tell people I'm not going to fail they think I'm being arrogant, but I dream this shyt. I've seen my own success many times. I even see myself dating certain girls and I end up dating them. I tell them when I meet them we're going to date and neither of us have a choice in it. They give me that nikka please look, but we always end up fukking around. Sometimes I misread a message. The hardest part is figuring out what all the signs mean. I wish I could talk to someone about this kind of shyt, I know how people are
This is the most honest I've been anywhere. I should probably delete this. I blacked out and started typing. I forgot to add anytime I'm in serious danger I make out. I've had people try to kill me and I've been in some shyt and I always make out. Something clicks and I black out. I know I have angels. I think me being an orphan has a lot to do with it. God takes care of us in odd ways and gives us a little extra because we need it.
As long as I have love in my heart angels move with me. If I'm doing bad shyt the demons come for me.
As a child I had vivid nightmares. I saw demons crawling on the walls. Dolls would speak to me. I'd hear things whispering to me when I closed my eyes. I'd wake up screaming at the top of my lungs, crying, and throwing a fit. I was scared to sleep because the dreams were vivid. Not all of them were bad.
I want to be specific in the description of these dreams because they've started again. 20 years later they're back.
I'm an adult now and I'm able to articulate what I experienced while sleeping, daydreaming, or being deep in thought. By vivid I mean my body experienced what my mind was seeing while I slept. The images were not as frightening as the feelings I felt. If it was hot in my dream I'd start sweating in real life, if I got cut in my dream I'd have a cut when I woke up, if I was happy i'd wake up hella happy, and sometimes I'd have reoccurring dreams about things that were going to happen to people.
I've never told anybody this because I know how it sounds. When I told my foster parents you already know how that went. How'd you react if your young child told you the dolls talk when nobody is around and animal speak to him? I want to say animals are chill as fukk. They're funny, calm, and don't like being ignored. Interact with animals more ya'll and they'll stop lashing out. Don't talk to them like they're stupid because they're not. They understand us, we just don't understand them.
Back to the point. I admit some of my dreams were just bad dreams. My emotions I don't express in real life are expressed in my dreams. I understand now. Some of my dreams felt like memories. I'm discussing two levels of my dreams. I'll them A and B.
A is a normal dream influenced by my internalized emotions. Characteristics of these dreams are: feeling emotion strongly in real life that I experienced in the dream. Other than that there was no physical response. I barely remembered them when I woke up.
B wasn't normal IMO. B felt like memories of a life I've lived before. Sometimes I'd be viewing an event. It's like watching a movie from a random starting point. Sometimes I'd be involved in the event. I remember getting shot in the ribs in a dream. I felt the pain and it fukking hurt a lot. I woke up in hella pain, it was in my ribs. I cut school that day because of that dream. I was a nerd, so cutting school was a big ass deal. Later that day the homie told me somebody pulled out a glock in the 400 hallway, the hallway I hung out in all the time, and there was a rifle found in the bushes in front of the school.
I was a nerd but my homies were the shyt. Maybe I wasn't a nerd. I fought, smoked, and did normal shyt. I wasn't a gangster or looking for trouble. I wanted to go to college or go pro in something. But I wasn't going to let nikkas punk me. fukk that. If it's all hands it's a fair fight to me. People around were getting guns, and getting more serious about getting money. I didn't realize it wasn't fun to them like it was to me. Selling drugs and stealing shyt was never a business for me. It was fun. I wanted to be a professional. To them hustling was profession. As we became men shyt got very serious. I wasn't taking in seriously enough and I believe I almost got caught slipping real hard that year on some Ace from Paid In Full shyt. I was the plug. I was selling weight to all the dealers. Everybody was smoking my weed whether they knew it or not. I made a boss move and took losses on some zips. But my model was flip a lot for cheap rather than go for big numbers in one deal.
I knew all the dealers. We grew up together. I made them all offers they couldn't refuse. I'd front them a zip. All they had to do was bring me back what I paid. I wasn't profiting at all. So what that means is there was no cap on how much could they make and the price would never increase for them even if it changed for me. My shyt was fire too so that wasn't a problem. I'd get fronted from the big homie, I'd front it to the homies, they'd bring me back my money and that'd be it. Again, I wasn't in it for the money. Although I made money later. Sometimes they didn't bring any money back. I'd take the loss and still fukk with them. Again, I made money later.
I was a non street dude involved in some street shyt. I robbed people at gunpoint, I've pulled guns on people, had guns pulled on me, the homies started a gang. It was fun to me, I didn't know how serious this shyt was.
Anyway, after that dream I fell back hard. Bad shyt happened to everyone involved, except for me because of that dream. Life changing bad shyt. The only two people who didn't get their lives ruined are the homie and myself. He's in law school right now. We still talk. We been through a lot together. He shot someone in the face, beat the case, and had to pay hella restitution. Graduating college has been a battle for him because of his criminal record, but he's doing big things. I'm proud of him.
He started a gang, lol. We went different ways after that. He started selling everything and had a crew of goons that gave me bad vibes. I could tell they thought I was food. He kept the wolves off me because we were close. I appreciate that. Before nikkas started shooting he and I were handing out fades left and right and then going to AP Chemistry together. LOL we wouldn't fight anywhere we'd get suspended. We'd schedule the fight while class was in session or do it off-site. He and I were masterminds, real talk. We'd get a bathroom pass while we were in class. The dude we wanted to fight would too. We'd fight them in the bathroom while the homies played look out. Or we'd go to the hardest part of the school to reach, it was like a forest, and we'd fight up there.
We were robbing people at gun point, trying to pimp bytches, running from the police, and maintaining a high GPA. Idunno WTF we were thinking. I guess we wanted to see how much we could get away with. I remember the first time I saw cocaine. We had the weed game on lock and the homie wanted us to sell coke and thizz but I said no. I was the boss because I had the connect, the weed money fueled everything else. I was about hitting licks. I loved planning them. I used to steal from the school I went to. We stole the year books two years in a row and sold them for half the cost of the school. We were forging letters for people. Doing homework for money. We even started a security service for people who didn't want to fight. We weren't balling, but we had money for whatever we wanted to do, didn't have to ask our parents, and we had clout. I didn't because I was low key. But the homies were eating, and we were gang.
Real innocent shyt in my eyes. To me fukking with coke and thizz was some real gangster shyt. Weed was my line. I liked hustling, but I was never a gangster. I'm down to fight, but shooting someone isn't my style. I remember pulling guns on people and seeing them the next day at school. They were shook as fukk. I remember I pulled out on this dude at a red light, his name was kalvin, he was talking reckless about me, so I taught him a lesson. The look in his eyes made me feel guilty, he was so fukking scared, he skirted off in his car hella fast. I was laughing hella hard. LOL he and I had multiple fights from jr high through HS. I beat the breaks off that nikka multiple times and he still talked shyt. So I figured I shut him up for good.
The gang and I had a rule, anybody talking reckless about us is getting hit up. We weren't gangsters we just weren't pussies. We were always in some shyt. I got hella stories, I've been in some shyt. Our brothers were on some gangster shyt. My brother stabbed someone and was very violent. The homie's brother damn near pistol whipped someone to death in broad daylight. He was selling thizz and beefing with SOD's. They were MS13 before MS13. nikkas were shook of them. They were laying people down for looking at them. The homie wasn't in a gang he just wasn't a p*ssy. Those were our idols.
To us what we were doing was light compared to that. I had a lot negative energy in my life at that time. That dream changed my life. Maybe it saved it.
Since I started meditating and studying astronomy, astrology, and metaphysics I've been having these dreams again. They're not scary like they used to be, even when something scary happens I'm not scared. It's because my understanding of what's happening has evolved. I used to think vibes were my feelings, my feelings were my thoughts, and my thoughts were who I was.
I realize I'm highly sensitive and in open to energy. I can't control it. I can feel a lot of vibes very strongly. Lying to me is impossible. I can see who people really are without knowing me. I don't like making eye contact with people for too long because I notice them noticing me reading them. People tell me I look like I want to kill them or I feel nothing when I do it. I can't control it, some energies I explore. I realize now I leave my body frequently to interact with people in the spirit realm. My body shuts down and my mind takes over.
I've had many people throughout my life tell me I have a special soul. Not on some religious or will shyt. My actual spirit energy. I attract things to me because of it. Some lady walked up to me out of nowhere, grabbed by hands, and started praying for me. She said there's a strong darkness consuming me. I almost cried because I couldn't believe she saw what I felt. Another lady told me my spirit is conflicted and I will either destroy myself or be great. But even my destruction will be done in a grand way. My neighbors kept committing suicide. shyt was crazy. I had three neighbors commit suicide in the same house. And someone who lived in that house got hit by a train. I saw the whole thing. shyt was crazy. I felt him die. I knew his soul was in my house too. He was asking for my help. I could feel him begging for my help. Weird shyt happened in my house for months. I wasn't the only person who noticed the shyt either.
I pretended it wasn't happening because I knew people would call me crazy. I never went in that house no matter what. Some evil shyt was in that house. I could feel it anytime I went near it. I used to kick balls over the fence. The fence was hella hoppable, but I never hopped it. I just took the loss.
I got blessed by a professional holy man. Dude told me his life story because he said I'm like him and I just don't know it. I've accepted this part of myself as an adult and my life is easier. I've learned so much about myself from being open to this.
I'll tell you a secret. There is no God, but God is real. The word God is limiting to what that force is. Even describing God as love is limiting. Love comes from God but God doesn't feel anything. Emotions are lower level experiences. Love is an emotion, not an element. God is an element. God is aware of emotions because they can be strong enough to be vibes, but God doesn't have emotion. God hears us all. God speaks to us all. As do many other spirits. It's very important to know yourself so you don't become a vessel for spirit taking advantage of your physical form to experience life in this reality.
I refused to accept who I was as a kid and I suffered for it. As an adult I explore myself even if it makes me uncomfortable. I'm very comfortable with who I am and its made me calm. I can separate what's me and what's not me. Also, I know to always trust my instincts. Whenever I ignore them I take a major loss. I learned I can make shyt happen simply by focusing my energy on it.
LOL when I tell people I'm not going to fail they think I'm being arrogant, but I dream this shyt. I've seen my own success many times. I even see myself dating certain girls and I end up dating them. I tell them when I meet them we're going to date and neither of us have a choice in it. They give me that nikka please look, but we always end up fukking around. Sometimes I misread a message. The hardest part is figuring out what all the signs mean. I wish I could talk to someone about this kind of shyt, I know how people are
This is the most honest I've been anywhere. I should probably delete this. I blacked out and started typing. I forgot to add anytime I'm in serious danger I make out. I've had people try to kill me and I've been in some shyt and I always make out. Something clicks and I black out. I know I have angels. I think me being an orphan has a lot to do with it. God takes care of us in odd ways and gives us a little extra because we need it.
As long as I have love in my heart angels move with me. If I'm doing bad shyt the demons come for me.
Last edited:
This Black Man got a lot of Plants! 
