Essential The Locker Room's Random Thoughts

[TheLostOnes]

@Dwolf Dee, you gonna stop negging me

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

HAHAHA, I really am addicted to other nikkas' bytches. Real talk. I am a great side nikka. I tried to not swoop for years, but I can't be her main cause I don't care like that. I'm trying to chill, respect her, smash, and go to the money.

Leave the back door open for me mama,

You don't got to cook, I'll bring food, I got that good smoke, drink, or conversation. I'm going to fukk you all night and be in the wind before you go to work in the AM. I promise I won't wake you up on my way out and I'll lock the door behind me baby.

I don't mind sharing. I'm going to fukk you like you're all mine because I'm a savage. I didn't ask if you have a man because I don't give a fukk. Whatever is going on over there is not my business. Our situation is our own.

 

[Tenchi Ryu]

What the fukk they do to spankbang

 

[TheLostOnes]

What the fukk they do to spankbang

nikka it's 4:15 in the morning

 

[Tenchi Ryu]

nikka it's 4:15 in the morning

First its only 3:15 here

:kobelol:


Second, yall already know I be on my nocturnal shyt

Mind ya business

 

[Aphrodite]

WTF do bum ass nikkas do all day? I haven't said I'm bored in like ten years. I either work out, practice my craft, do chores, or go to work. School is peppered in there too.

Today, for example, I feel like I need more hours in the day.

@Prima Donna, being a thoroughbred raised around hustlers I know you know what I mean. Where we are from nikkas be scheming all day. Even dudes without jobs plot on how to get money. By hook or crook nikkas are going to eat where we are from. I go so hard in 24 hours I forget to eat until I'm going to pass out.

"Cause in The Bay things move fast. Stop to catch your breath you might get passed. That's yo ass because I'm going to do it moving. 24 hours in the day I need 10 more."

My dad, uncles, cousins were/are all hustlers. Even the women. Three of my aunts and one of my cousins dealt with entertainers/rappers/athletes. My mother has too. One aunt married one. My father and cousin were notorious in the drug game. Everyone knew them. They were hated and respected. Hence, my cousin who I mentioned before was killed and his lifeless body was beat up up at his own funeral. I've had street smarts since I was 9 or 10. As I've said on here a few years ago, I lost my innocence at a very young age and I developed what type of woman I would be at an age that I shouldn't have. I envisioned myself today then. I knew what I was going to give and how I was going to be and I knew it wouldn't sit well. I knew I would be dislikable as my personality was forming. I was individualistic and I hated being around other people. I was manipulative and quiet. I noticed I became materialistic at a young age and I wanted a lot at a young age, instead of simply playing with toys. There's a lot of things that I'm aware of (that others aren't) which makes me feel disconnected and it's part of the reason why I water myself down on here. I was aware of things adults were doing and told specifically not to 'ruin' or tell my peers/other kids about it. People have been telling me that I'm 'wise' since I was middle school. Everyone comes to me for advice for this 'wisdom'. I was losing my childhood friends every other year. I've lost a lot of friends and family. I've loved/been infatuated with a few men. I study men and I test men while they are unaware because of the type of men I've been around.

One of my best friends as a kid was killed in a car chase with the police. Another died from stomach cancer when I was in the 2nd grade. Another was molested by her step father and he had a stand off with the police at our apartments and it was on the news. As I've got older, I've had more experiences that I've gone through myself. I've lived a lot and it made me feel 'old' and 'tired' in my early to mid 20s. My life is really disturbing when I type it out on the internet.

 

[TheLostOnes]

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

My dad, uncles, cousins were/are all hustlers. Even the women. Three of my aunts and one of my cousins dealt with entertainers/rappers/athletes. My mother has too. One aunt married one. My father and cousin were notorious in the drug game. Everyone knew them. They were hated and respected. Hence, my cousin who I mentioned before was killed and his lifeless body was beat up up at his own funeral. I've had street smarts since I was 9 or 10. As I've said on here a few years ago, I lost my innocence at a very young age and I developed what type of woman I would be at an age that I shouldn't have. I envisioned myself today then. I knew what I was going to give and how I was going to be and I knew it wouldn't sit well. I knew I would be dislikable as my personality was forming. I was individualistic and I hated being around other people. I was manipulative and quiet. I noticed I became materialistic at a young age and I wanted a lot at a young age, instead of simply playing with toys. There's a lot of things that I'm aware of (that others aren't) which makes me feel disconnected and it's part of the reason why I water myself down on here. I was aware of things adults were doing and told specifically not to 'ruin' or tell my peers/other kids about it. People have been telling me that I'm 'wise' since I was middle school. Everyone comes to me for advice for this 'wisdom'. I was losing my childhood friends every other year. I've lost a lot of friends and family. I've loved/been infatuated with a few men. I study men and I test men while they are unaware because of the type of men I've been around.

One of my best friends as a kid was killed in a car chase with the police. Another died from stomach cancer when I was in the 2nd grade. Another was molested by her step father and he had a stand off with the police at our apartments and it was on the news. As I've got older, I've had more experiences that I've gone through myself. I've lived a lot and it made me feel 'old' and 'tired' in my early to mid 20s. My life is really disturbing when I type it out on the internet.

This is the most you've revealed about yourself publicly.

"I developed what type of woman I would be at an age that I shouldn't have."


"There's a lot of things that I'm aware of (that others aren't) which makes me feel disconnected and it's part of the reason why I water myself down on here."

Fascinating. It must have taken a lot for you to reveal this much, which isn't much, but it's more than you usually reveal.

"My life is really disturbing when I type it out on the internet."
Naw, you're a champion mama. The world is disturbing, and you experienced adult shyt as a child. You are not disturbing, you're fascinating. I could listen to you give your opinion for the rest of my life. I swear to God I could.

I understand why you don't partake in drugs and alcohol. You have many secrets. Most of them aren't your secrets. You keep them though. A lot of secret keepers and kids who grow up fast don't like to get loose because all the shyt comes out and our public personas fall apart. The average square will never understand the lifestyle you've lived and it's best they don't even know you like that.

Being taken at face value is advantageous for those with great faces and secrets.

RIP to your homies and loved ones.

 

[Aphrodite]

This is the most you've revealed about yourself publicly.

"I developed what type of woman I would be at an age that I shouldn't have."


"There's a lot of things that I'm aware of (that others aren't) which makes me feel disconnected and it's part of the reason why I water myself down on here."

Fascinating. It must have taken a lot for you to reveal this much, which isn't much, but it's more than you usually reveal.

"My life is really disturbing when I type it out on the internet."
Naw, you're a champion mama. The world is disturbing, and you experienced adult shyt as a child. You are not disturbing, you're fascinating. I could listen to you give your opinion for the rest of my life. I swear to God I could.

I understand why you don't partake in drugs and alcohol. You have many secrets. Most of them aren't your secrets. You keep them though. A lot of secret keepers and kids who grow up fast don't like to get loose because all the shyt comes out and our public personas fall apart. The average square will never understand the lifestyle you've lived and it's best they don't even know you like that.

Be taken a face value is advantageous for those great faces and secrets.

Yeah. I stay sober most importantly because I need and want to be alert.
Thank you sweetie.

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

Yeah. I stay sober most importantly because I need and want to be alert.
Thank you sweetie.

Do you know your attachment style? I think I do. There's a website you can use that psychologists use to find it. I can give it to you if you'd like. I dated a therapist for a while, LOL that means very little, but she taught me a lot about diagnosing shyt. There's nothing wrong with you, but it's helpful to know how you attach to people, and if you attach to people at all.

It helped me realize I'm not crazy. How I behave is justified and normal. It's nice to know why I behave as I do in relationships. I'm a fearful avoidant. When something scares me I dip out fast. I avoid building deep relationships with people because I can't do it. It scares me. I don't have the emotional capacity to be someone's rest haven. I'm not scared of anything because I live in fear. I'm always alert because I think I need to always be ready to fight for my life. I could have a million "Friends" and still be completely alone because I like being alone. It's safe.

It all comes from our childhood, my dear. I think your attachment style involves more anxiety than mine. I was always alone as a kid. I think you may have had some form of stability and things changed. As an adult, you're about securing and defending your stability. You're an anchor for other people, but you have no anchor. shyt is fascinating, I think.

 

[Aphrodite]

Do you know your attachment style? I think I do. There's a website you can use that psychologists use to find it. I can give it to you if you'd like. I dated a therapist for a while, LOL that means very little, but she taught me a lot about diagnosing shyt. There's nothing wrong with you, but it's helpful to know how you attach to people, and if you attach to people at all.

It helped me realize I'm not crazy. How I behave is justified and normal. It's nice to know why I behave as I do in relationships. I'm a fearful avoidant. When something scares me I dip out fast. I avoid building deep relationships with people because I can't do it. It scares me. I don't have the emotional capacity to be someone's rest haven. I'm not scared of anything because I live in fear. I'm always alert because I think I need to always be ready to fight for my life. I could have a million "Friends" and still be completely alone because I like being alone. It's safe.

It all comes from our childhood, my dear. I think your attachment style involves more anxiety than mine. I was always alone as a kid. I think you may have had some form of stability and things changed. As an adult, you're about securing and defending your stability. You're an anchor for other people, but you have no anchor. shyt is fascinating, I think.

 

[TheLostOnes]

I've been up since 1. I know I am going to sleep good tonight

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

That's what I thought. It's not bad or good, it's just the way we are. Don't assign too much value to it, just know you are the way you are and you are not alone. You had no choice in it either. You responded to the environment you were in and developed into who you needed to be to survive. The brain will erase one's memories so they don't go crazy with trauma. Do you remember your childhood in connective streams or spots?

For example, I only remember parts of memories. I remember very little of my childhood and it's all a blur with the occasional clear incomplete picture. On the other hand, I can remember food orders from 3 years ago. I can tell you what I wore on a date years ago. I remember conversations word for word without trying to memorize them. It's how the brain copes with severe trauma as a child, since it can't make sense of it, it will erase it. It's crazy.

Dreams aren't always dreams. They can be memories we forgot. We can't escape ourselves though, so these memories show themselves when our subconscious brain takes the lead. During sleep, being high, when we're worked up, etc.

I dated a girl who fought in her sleep. She had no idea why. She fought hard in her sleep. She only chilled when I hugged her hella tight. She'd grab me back or scoot real close. Then be still. She didn't even know she did it. Later she remembered she was sexually abused by a family member. It didn't stop until her mom re-married and she got a big bro who protected her.

 

[Tenchi Ryu]

 

[Black Cher]

He really done called my Babby Mom's a hoe....

Who called me a hoe?