I need to move out. Starting to feel my age and look it too. Before I didn't think I was capable of holding my own but I know I can now.
it's not gonna be easy but it's time.
I do feel a bit angry though because I feel that some people were doubting me and my progress where because I wasn't at a certain place in my life like how they were that I was beneath them and they were talking shyt and etc. I feel a bit annoyed because now I feel the need to be extra guarded like I got this right here. If you coming along on some bullshyt, then I will check you on it. I don't want to be bitter or angry but it's like the worst thing someone could do to me is to put me down on some bullshyt. Like I'm trying to come up and been in the trenches. If I'm bigging you up, trying to pull you up, believing in you, giving you a chance when you say other people done left you high and dry or don't fukk with you and then you disrespect me on some shyt...
it just makes me less inclined to want to socialize with other people. As I said, I'm a loner but a lot of that shyt is to protect myself from a world that has shown me more nasty shyt and negativity than positivity. So if someone wants to be in my life, they have to prove to me why they want to be there. I just can't be as fukked up as some people are. Causing damage and not seeing how that shyt affects other people. Not being mean but just saying what they give is how they will be judged by which isn't my problem. That's on them. I ain't even trying to bring up the past. I don't get why some people understand that it's not about fixing the wrongs in the past but it's about what they do in the present. If they do some fukked up shyt in the present time and aren't willing to apologize or fix it, that says it all. Folks like to act now without thinking and then they end up paying for it in the long run. That's why I don't take certain people seriously when they say certain things or do the same bullshyt. They don't learn their mistakes or lack wisdom. They never learn about themselves and basically go about blaming other people for why they can't get their shyt together where they actually build positivity. I really don't see whats so hard to get.