No other place to really put it, and I kinda wanna talk about it, so....
It's Father's Day and I been moping around a bit.... (that post I made in that lil Fathers Day thread talking about advertising isn't a post out of bitterness, though. I just like the study of advertisement as means of mass manipulation)
Anyway, yeah. First love died while pregnant. One ex was told by doctors to abort, because there was a huge chance she'd die in childbirth. One ex miscarried while we were on vacation together.
So yeah. No kids. Just a huge empty spot.
One of those exes, when we got together she had a six month old kid. We were together a long time (six, seven years) before she left me at a low point and married some other cat in 6 months. Closest thing to a daughter I'll prolly ever have. Though I havent seen her in years. Years. Family won't allow it.
But I remember a point maybe 5, 6 years ago, that marriage was on the rocks. I know for 100% certainty that the dude asked the daughter "
how would you feel if me and your mom gt a divorce?"
and the daughter was like
"oh, mom would just go and marry Mr. Negative, so
"
Today, I saw this lil exchange in that tupac thread....
nikka I wish my daughter would write a letter to another nikka wishing he come back to life so her and her mother could be happy.
The fukk?
all these years it took me to realize...
if I was dude, I wouldn't let my family see me, either.
excuse The Vent.
"...I'm like an old man with no friends or family
tryin' to cleanse what he got left of his sanity (ooh.)"