Deadpool1986
Cook with a Mouth
Quote:
Dating A Man With Financial Problems
"The day you settle for less
is the day you will get less."
- Iman
I felt that I needed to write about this because I believe that it's very important for women who are currently dating, to think twice before entering a serious relationship with a man who doesn't seem to have is act together. Black women in particular have to be extra careful when it comes to dating, particularly those who date interracially.
First one must know the definition of what a real man is. Call me old fashion but I'm not a fan of the new modern family where the women are out working and the men are sitting at home doing god knows what. I do not believe in role reversal because if a man and a woman is married or living together, and the woman is the sole provider, this will inevitably affect the relationship negatively sooner or later. A man is biologically predisposed to be provider and protector of his love ones. So if you're in a relationship right now, and if you have a good man, you will understand his deep seated fear of not being able to provide for you and for the children you may have with him in the future.
Many women do not actually know what a real man is. Most women would think that a real man is a buffed shirtless guy, who probably can drink the equivalent of his weight in alcohol, possibly violent and has a bevy of women at his disposal while boasting about his sexual prows at any given opportunity. Some women would settle for just about any caliber of man and wonder why they are unhappy. Same goes for black women who date interracially. Some of these women would date any white guy because the only criteria they have when it comes to finding a man is that he is white. Don't get me wrong I am not bashing women who date interracially as I myself am in an interracial relationship. What I'm trying to do here is to make you aware of the choices you are making when it comes to the men you date. As a black woman who dates interracially, you must be very careful of who you chose as your mate.
Quote:
It's very rare you will find white women dating broke black men. White women appear to have much higher standards than most black women when it comes to dating and marriage. Therefor a broke white man is socially unacceptable in the white community yet a broke black man can freely go about his business without any feelings of guilt or remorse for being a financial and social failure in his community. Having said that, I have to admit that I'm very wary of broke white men and white men who only date black women because one, I do not wish to be burdened with someone elses financial problems, and two, I do not wish to be someone's weird sexual fetish, a topic of which I will discuss in another post.
However before I delve into why you should not date a man with financial problems, let me relate a story to you:
Dorothy Dandridge
If you are familiar with vintage black starlets, then you will know of the lovely Dorothy Dandrige. Her life although glamorous, was very lonely and tragic. She had a mentally disabled child which was the result of her first failed marriage. She was forced to put her child in a special home that specialised in the caring of special children. For many years after her failed marriage she suffered one failed relationship after the other. There was obviously nothing wrong with her as you can see that she was quite a stunning and feminine woman. Her problem was the men she dated. As a black woman in the 1930s to the 1950s, her line of work made it very difficult to date and marry. Being an actress and singer, naturally exposed her to higher quality men, but these men were white and most of them wouldn't date her or marry her not because they were not attracted to her or found her beautiful, but because she was a black woman. As you can see, she didn't have a lot of options.
She eventually settled for Jack Denison, a small restaurant owner who pursued her relentlessly. He had asked her to performed at his small club/restaurant much to the dismay of her friends and colleagues. They did not believe that a person of her stardom and caliber should perform in such a place, but she agreed anyway. Denison eventually proposed to Dorothy and she accepted. What Dorothy didn't know was that Denison was not interested in her as a person, he was only interested in her money. On her wedding night, Dorothy found out that her new husband was in terrible dept and he wanted her to perform regularly at his restaurant so that he can get out of dept with the money she would bring him. This of course made Dorothy very depressed. The man who she chose to marry did not warn her of the quality of life to expect once she was married to him. He had deceived her into thinking that he loved and cared for her, so that he can trick her into marriage. Dorothy was perfect prey because she was a single, lonely black woman in Hollywood.
Quote:
After two years of financial, emotional and physical abuse within her marriage, Dorothy finally found the courage to divorce Denison. After the divorce, things didn't get any better. She found out that the people who was handling her finances had swindled her of over $150,000, which was quite a lot in those days. She sank further into depression because she couldn't find work as she hadn't worked in two years due to her abusive marriage. In 1963 she declared bankruptcy. She lost her beautiful home along with many of her possession. She was forced to take her daughter out of private care as she could no longer afford the bill, and place her in a public mental institution. Work was very hard to come by and what little work she did, barely paid the bills. She became a heavy drinker due to her depression and from her loneliness and financial ruin. She was later prescribed an anti depressant which lifted her mood a bit. But in 1965 Dorothy was found dead in her tiny apartment lying face down on her bathroom floor. She had died from an overdose of her anti depressant drug and to this day, no one knows if her death was deliberate or accidental.
Dating A Man With Financial Problems
"The day you settle for less
is the day you will get less."
- Iman
I felt that I needed to write about this because I believe that it's very important for women who are currently dating, to think twice before entering a serious relationship with a man who doesn't seem to have is act together. Black women in particular have to be extra careful when it comes to dating, particularly those who date interracially.
First one must know the definition of what a real man is. Call me old fashion but I'm not a fan of the new modern family where the women are out working and the men are sitting at home doing god knows what. I do not believe in role reversal because if a man and a woman is married or living together, and the woman is the sole provider, this will inevitably affect the relationship negatively sooner or later. A man is biologically predisposed to be provider and protector of his love ones. So if you're in a relationship right now, and if you have a good man, you will understand his deep seated fear of not being able to provide for you and for the children you may have with him in the future.
Many women do not actually know what a real man is. Most women would think that a real man is a buffed shirtless guy, who probably can drink the equivalent of his weight in alcohol, possibly violent and has a bevy of women at his disposal while boasting about his sexual prows at any given opportunity. Some women would settle for just about any caliber of man and wonder why they are unhappy. Same goes for black women who date interracially. Some of these women would date any white guy because the only criteria they have when it comes to finding a man is that he is white. Don't get me wrong I am not bashing women who date interracially as I myself am in an interracial relationship. What I'm trying to do here is to make you aware of the choices you are making when it comes to the men you date. As a black woman who dates interracially, you must be very careful of who you chose as your mate.
Quote:
It's very rare you will find white women dating broke black men. White women appear to have much higher standards than most black women when it comes to dating and marriage. Therefor a broke white man is socially unacceptable in the white community yet a broke black man can freely go about his business without any feelings of guilt or remorse for being a financial and social failure in his community. Having said that, I have to admit that I'm very wary of broke white men and white men who only date black women because one, I do not wish to be burdened with someone elses financial problems, and two, I do not wish to be someone's weird sexual fetish, a topic of which I will discuss in another post.
However before I delve into why you should not date a man with financial problems, let me relate a story to you:
Dorothy Dandridge
If you are familiar with vintage black starlets, then you will know of the lovely Dorothy Dandrige. Her life although glamorous, was very lonely and tragic. She had a mentally disabled child which was the result of her first failed marriage. She was forced to put her child in a special home that specialised in the caring of special children. For many years after her failed marriage she suffered one failed relationship after the other. There was obviously nothing wrong with her as you can see that she was quite a stunning and feminine woman. Her problem was the men she dated. As a black woman in the 1930s to the 1950s, her line of work made it very difficult to date and marry. Being an actress and singer, naturally exposed her to higher quality men, but these men were white and most of them wouldn't date her or marry her not because they were not attracted to her or found her beautiful, but because she was a black woman. As you can see, she didn't have a lot of options.
She eventually settled for Jack Denison, a small restaurant owner who pursued her relentlessly. He had asked her to performed at his small club/restaurant much to the dismay of her friends and colleagues. They did not believe that a person of her stardom and caliber should perform in such a place, but she agreed anyway. Denison eventually proposed to Dorothy and she accepted. What Dorothy didn't know was that Denison was not interested in her as a person, he was only interested in her money. On her wedding night, Dorothy found out that her new husband was in terrible dept and he wanted her to perform regularly at his restaurant so that he can get out of dept with the money she would bring him. This of course made Dorothy very depressed. The man who she chose to marry did not warn her of the quality of life to expect once she was married to him. He had deceived her into thinking that he loved and cared for her, so that he can trick her into marriage. Dorothy was perfect prey because she was a single, lonely black woman in Hollywood.
Quote:
After two years of financial, emotional and physical abuse within her marriage, Dorothy finally found the courage to divorce Denison. After the divorce, things didn't get any better. She found out that the people who was handling her finances had swindled her of over $150,000, which was quite a lot in those days. She sank further into depression because she couldn't find work as she hadn't worked in two years due to her abusive marriage. In 1963 she declared bankruptcy. She lost her beautiful home along with many of her possession. She was forced to take her daughter out of private care as she could no longer afford the bill, and place her in a public mental institution. Work was very hard to come by and what little work she did, barely paid the bills. She became a heavy drinker due to her depression and from her loneliness and financial ruin. She was later prescribed an anti depressant which lifted her mood a bit. But in 1965 Dorothy was found dead in her tiny apartment lying face down on her bathroom floor. She had died from an overdose of her anti depressant drug and to this day, no one knows if her death was deliberate or accidental.
