So there may be a custody battle brewing....
- Thread starter Steve Piffler
- Start date
I know an dude who got custody of his son from his ex-wife because the child would rather live with him. I can't remember how old his son was but some courts will take that into consideration. He ended up making his ex-wife pay him child support to him because she didn't do her homework before going to court. She automatically assumed the judge would side with her but he had all kinds of evidence making her look unfit.
Im only in the first page of reading so idk if.it has been stated but i have learned from a judge that child support money can.also be used.for bills she has such as rent, heat and other household expenses. So if child support gets instated your agruement of wanting custody will be socalled voided. Even though u have good reason.
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
You're going to catch hell for that.My sons mother wasn't around for the first two years of his life.She moved to Miami with her new dude and we agreed to let my son stay with me.
She moved back here 2 years ago, but she tries to project her guilt onto me when my son doesn't want to do anything with her.
Just the other day, he refused to get in the car with her.He ran behind me and said "I'm staying with my dad".The shyt was heartbreaking to me because I'd never seen him act like that.Normally he'll be a lil soldier and go, but he took a stand that day.He tried to run away from her.When he did get in the car, he kept trying to open the door to get out.
She blamed it on a argument we had a few weeks ago, but it wasn't really a blow up.After that, she said it's because me and my family talk about her in front of him...she's never around and my family don't even give a fukk that she exist.
After that it was, "you spoil him to much".....People tell me I'm a lil to stern on him
What do these ho's want, breh?
At one point, she was saying it's good to spoil your kids because not enough black babies get spoiled.
And then if you spend to much time with the kid and they bond with you more than they bond with her, they get all self conscious and start blaming everybody but themselves.shyt's psychotic IMO
And then if you don't spend any time with your kids, you "ain't shyt" and you're a dog ass nikka?
The expect you to balance that shyt perfectly why absolving them of any responsibility/ guilt.Basically, they want you to go along with their phony bullshyt.Once the kid starts to feel like moms just doing it to save face, and not because she genuinely cares, don't get mad at me.You was gone for 2 years......now you wanna come back and expect instant mommy privileges? it sad because the children have to get caught up in grown up bullshyt and have their feelings/instincts discounted.
Children know genuine love when they see it.Don't get mad when they can see right through your bullshyt
If that situation was flipped and the boy ran away from his dad, you guys would swear up and down that the bitter baby mom's turned the child against you (tell me I'm lying). It's really not unreasonable that she would think the same thing (people have already mentioned it in this thread..."watch out, she is going to turn your son against you). You see for yourself that when the non custodial parent isn't doing what they are suppose to do, the child will eventually form their own opinion (that goes for moms or dads).
I commend you for doing what you are suppose to do though.
MooseMouthMthafuga
Veteran
Yeah....children have their own instincts when it comes to stuff like that.
In my case, it's strange that my son would act like that all of a sudden because he HAS been spending time with his mom for the past two years.He just can't seem to connect with her.He wasn't acting like that when she first moved back two years ago.Like I said, I think all that "mamas baby!" stuff is just a front for the onlookers.He already told me "Mommy's really mean when you're not around".Children know what's real and what's fake.
I get pissed off when she tries to project guilt onto me when my son refuses to go along with her phony facade.I'm not saying these sorta problems apply to everybody else.Just sharing my stories/experiences that i've dealt with concerning this subject.My baby moms is selfish, arrogant, and refuses to take accountability for my son not having the best relationship with her.
It's not like she just popped up and my son is looking at her like
.....this is after 2 years of consistently spending time with her.It started out ok in the beginning, but it seems to have continuously regressed over the last 2 years.My son is a very sincere person.What you see is what you get.He's never been one of those highly imaginative type of kids.He's extremely grounded for his age.To a fault, at times.He's like me in that regard.The same way I don't mix with my baby moms pretentious/ put-on attitude, my son doesn't either.Even most of her girl friends say that shyt behind her back.Even amongst her "friends", she has a rep for being a "fake bytch".She's just very "extra" like that
gldnone913
Integrity and Consistency
Steve Piffler
I got them CERTS
breh, i love lil man like he was my own. always treated him as such and always will. but it's only so much that i can do for a child that isn't mine that i no longer live with. his daddy is still around and pays child support. i can't do anything besides just try to continue a frendly relationship with him from now on. stop acting like because my ex and i didn't work out that i automatically tossed him in the bushes as well.
it couldn't be further from the truth....
little4209
All Star
If you feel like a custody battle is next, id suggest that you go to the courts first 
TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?
I walk around a little edgy already
just a question breh
When a woman loses her feelings for you and in the event of a break-up, that sweet little darling morphs into a MONSTER and you're getting a taste of that right now. Prepared to be painted in the worst possible light in court. I don't know if you went through your divorce proceedings and all of that, and if not, you better get in contact with a lawyer, because when it's said and done, YOU may be the one looking for a new place. Her conversation is the result of your disposability as a male. When a woman doesn't feel positive emotions for you, it's a wrap. Ain't no such thing as reasoning with her. She will most likely try to get all she can get. You'll be treated as well as a piece of gum on the sidewalk. Stepped on and discarded.
Cats were thinking we were being 'bitter' or 'angry' in that gems thread, but we are trying to tell ya'll, the system is built to DESTROY a man... and you really don't know your woman until she loses her feelings for you. That woman that you once loved and didn't even really end up on that bad of terms with will make you out to be the utter scum of the Earth in front of the judge. Disposability means that once she feels she has no use for you, aka feelings for you, then she couldn't care less about what happens to you as long as she gets as much as she can get. You will not be able to reason with her and the worst thing you can do is argue with her and provoke her anger. You will have to be as sweet as possible no matter how much you h ate it. Why do you think those millionaires and billionaires who get divorced never go hard on their ex-wives to the public? They don't want to get done even worse, so they say, "Well unfortunately we had irreconcilable differences, but I wish her the absolute best."
Cats were thinking we were being 'bitter' or 'angry' in that gems thread, but we are trying to tell ya'll, the system is built to DESTROY a man... and you really don't know your woman until she loses her feelings for you. That woman that you once loved and didn't even really end up on that bad of terms with will make you out to be the utter scum of the Earth in front of the judge. Disposability means that once she feels she has no use for you, aka feelings for you, then she couldn't care less about what happens to you as long as she gets as much as she can get. You will not be able to reason with her and the worst thing you can do is argue with her and provoke her anger. You will have to be as sweet as possible no matter how much you h ate it. Why do you think those millionaires and billionaires who get divorced never go hard on their ex-wives to the public? They don't want to get done even worse, so they say, "Well unfortunately we had irreconcilable differences, but I wish her the absolute best."
Naw, if a negro dipped out on his son for two years and never visited him, we'd call him the loser that he rightfully is and would tell him, you didn't make moves to visit or pay for your child, so you can't just up and expect to reinsert yourself back into your child's life.
Now if he was actively driving his woman away and keeping her from seeing her son and telling him how much of a loser mommy is by not seeing him or not sending enough money while she was paying child support and actively trying to see her kid, THEN that would parallel what a lot of men go through.
Top Flight Security
Of The World, Craig!
change a few different details from OP and it could be my post
i know what you goin thru TS...relationship break down a long time ago or what? mines did but she's my only baby mama, and there's a feeling you get for them that you don't experience with any other broad...there's a certain kind of respect or something that you develop when you watch them give birth to your seed. honestly i can't stand the bytch in so many ways but it's hard to let go when you have that kind of emotional connection with someone that you've never had before. call me a simp and all that BS
but until you experience it, you don't know what it's like.
Been thru it, Im financially sound. She still got the kids majority time (exclusively so she can keep that C.S. check coming.) Cuz my oldest son, been wanting to live with me, at age 14 he challenging the state.
About marrying a chick with kids... That kid got a daddy, play your role, as a role-model never their father, no matter how bummy they are. Cuz in the kids eyes, their father can NEVER do no wrong, no matter how much you tryna be nice. They have a dad, unless he dead.
Marriage and relationships as a whole is a business venture, going into my 2nd one with a whole other concept.
Steve what I did was expedite the divorce (no alimony for her, she cant touch my pension or 401k) but she got 60% of the time sharing (florida term) and I have 40%, that way she still gets the CS. She fukked me over on the old mortgage tho, and that hurt, lost that shyt. But I have bounced back since. It's not easy, but its better to get thru it as fast as possible.
Offer her some feasible terms and get that shyt written up quick. Get the best lawyer you can breh.
THEN after the divorce, take her back to court for custody and do that battle seperate, if you try to win custody during the divorce phase she gonna go at your wallet. So step 1 ... is get a easy out divorce. Then step 2 handle the parenting and custody. It's more expensive and time consuming, BUT if you go after kids now, she gonna hit your wallet for life, alimony and retirement shyts
About marrying a chick with kids... That kid got a daddy, play your role, as a role-model never their father, no matter how bummy they are. Cuz in the kids eyes, their father can NEVER do no wrong, no matter how much you tryna be nice. They have a dad, unless he dead.
Marriage and relationships as a whole is a business venture, going into my 2nd one with a whole other concept.
Steve what I did was expedite the divorce (no alimony for her, she cant touch my pension or 401k) but she got 60% of the time sharing (florida term) and I have 40%, that way she still gets the CS. She fukked me over on the old mortgage tho, and that hurt, lost that shyt. But I have bounced back since. It's not easy, but its better to get thru it as fast as possible.
Offer her some feasible terms and get that shyt written up quick. Get the best lawyer you can breh.
THEN after the divorce, take her back to court for custody and do that battle seperate, if you try to win custody during the divorce phase she gonna go at your wallet. So step 1 ... is get a easy out divorce. Then step 2 handle the parenting and custody. It's more expensive and time consuming, BUT if you go after kids now, she gonna hit your wallet for life, alimony and retirement shyts
MooseMouthMthafuga
Veteran
change a few different details from OP and it could be my post
i know what you goin thru TS...relationship break down a long time ago or what? mines did but she's my only baby mama, and there's a feeling you get for them that you don't experience with any other broad...there's a certain kind of respect or something that you develop when you watch them give birth to your seed. honestly i can't stand the bytch in so many ways but it's hard to let go when you have that kind of emotional connection with someone that you've never had before. call me a simp and all that BS
I know exactly what you mean.No matter how much shyt they take you through, they're still one of the "standouts" in your life.Her name will always be highlighted throughout the chapters of your life.Especially when you have just one.All the focus is concentrated on her.Buried beneath the ruins, she'll always have that lil "special" place in your heart.Looking back, I wish I would've moved a lot wiser.That's a great deal of power to give to a female.