Should finances be reserved for marriage?

[Brandsdale]

I would advise that woman to find a celibate man that’s dating with purpose. She needs to avoid men who believe that she is obligated to exchange sex for dates, b/c that’s not her speed.

Easier said than done. In most cultures celibacy is a core value in religion as a devotion to faith. If a celibacy is something that anyone wants to truly value it only makes sense to find someone of the same religion (so that morals are shared) and celibacy is intact. Sex is biological and it’s hard to fight naturally occurring urges without masturbation or practices to negate these urges.

 

[Boujee Bonita Braxton]

That’s his prerogative.

The woman may not agree but then he may not agree with her values either. This would just mean they both need to look elsewhere.

 

[Brandsdale]

Why do people assume men exchange sex for dates as if casual sex\dating don’t exist?

 

[Kyle C. Barker]

No right answer, just two adult configuring there ideal business

This

 

[Commish]

First, the relationship is destined to fail, just off the scenario given. Next, the date is starting off as a disaster because they barely know each other and already setting rules w/o any flexibility from either party. If they are willing to bend rules, then don’t bring that type of shyt up, to boot!

Any woman or man who wishes to be celibate while dating should ONLY seek those who share the same beliefs and practices. For a celibate person to expect someone who is sexually active to be flexible and accommodating to their beliefs and practices, but isn’t willing to do the same for the other person is on some serious bullshyt!

I am sure most men on this site has had women say that shyt only to have sex right after or during some point in the situationship.

How I see it as of today..

Any so called grown ass woman who dare say that shyt to me is trolling! Point blank period! I ain’t giving NO woman that much power and leverage over what goes on in a relationship/courtship I choose to be in!

She can be celibate until she dies, but I AIN’T gonna be celibate! Unless, I decide to do it for my own reasons! No intimacy, nor exclusivity! No exceptions! Since folks will toll a hard line on shyt! Lol Smh

Lastly, I wouldn’t trip over dinner per se, but I seriously doubt I would have any interest in perusing someone, should that person try to run that game on me.

 

[Nicole0416_718_929_646212]

If we’re not in a relationship and not intimate; then I wouldn’t expect him to pay. That’s dumb - bc we’re just hanging out as friends. Relationship with no sex is not a relationship. But I’m a relationship, I wouldn’t expect him to pay every time, compromise -he pays for one dinner or whatever ; i pay the next. Compromise - one person shouldn’t have to feel used or feel pressured to always doing the paying. Sometimes I test the waters- the man would offer to pay and I’m like - no, I got us . Or I’ll take out my card, but he pays .

I have my own $$ so I’m not geeked off free meals or using dating as an excuse fo get a come up and I’m not the marriage type, I don’t do that whole “living together “ thing (I like my own space and time to myself) so house bills and all that is not his responsibility . Most of the men I’ve dealt with have offered but it’s clear that they are not obligated or a requirement . But it’s Nice to help each other from time to time. Mutual understanding is impt when it comes to responsibilities.

 

[R.E.N. Spells Ren]

There's nothing wrong with going Dutch as a matter of principle, but that this was a reaction to her celibacy is a red flag. She need to run.

 

[Lady.Libra.]

They should just be roommates or seek mates who they are more compatible/better matched with.

The courting phase is for discovery, putting your best foot foward (being consistent once in a relationship/marriage), etc.
It isn't the time for tit-for-tat.

 

[patscorpio]

I applaud both of them for sticking to their core values. I also think that they are both going to need quite a bit of counseling post marriage.

Waiting until you are marrried is a helluva time to start learning how to do finances together and how to please each other sexually. It can work but it wont be easy at all. And a lot of the incentive to change kinda goes out the way once your married.

Yall dated 4 years and she never gave it up to you? Yeah dont expect yall to be fukkin everyday breh. Not much will change.


Yall dated 4 years and he never paid for a single thing 100%? Yeah dont expect him to start paying for dates and bills. Not much will change

#facts

 

[BrehWyatt]

Neither is wrong to have their principles. But the way the scenario is presented it sounds like a reactionary move on the breh's part.

Either way, it doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. There's a business aspect to relationships, and if that gels with what you're looking for in such an arrangement... so be it.

I have no problem with either party's stance. That said ... @Gold nailed it. Some stuff probably shouldn't be saved for marriage, regardless of what you believe. Solely because exploring those things prior to marriage better prepares you for that union.

 

[Diondon]

A woman tell me no sex til marriage I couldn't take her seriously
In terms of spending money, it depends on how much simp is in the nikka lol

 

[BaldingSoHard]

What if she just old fashioned and believes in courtship in the traditional sense?

She isn't and she doesn't.

 

[BaldingSoHard]

I have plenty of money and sex really isn't a big deal to me so the content of the proclamation wouldn't bother me as much as the mindset that thinks the proclamation was necessary in the first place.

Anyway, I'd say breh was wrong, but I say that as a breh who doesn't date women for sex.

 

[FLATOP]

My personal business is that dates as a concept are dumb after you start a relationship

Just hang out, cook and fukk. Maybe a date every 2 months

 

[m0rninggl0ry]

A couple is on a date. The woman says sex is out of the question because she saving herself for marriage. The man suggests they go Dutch from there on. He believes finances should be saved for marriage

Is the man right in this scenario?

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