Would say that a girl showing you men pursuing her is pretty common in esp. the bonding stages. This has happened to me many many times, it's a normal thing.
A) she is showing you her value
Sometimes, but the hidden message is that - the guy needs to do more, because she has options
B) she is showing you what DOESN'T work
Sometimes. "Look at these idiots" mentality. Or, you're doing the same thing, and it's pushing me away
C) she is showing her loyalty (as in you are now co conspirators) the same way you may bond with someone over making fun of someone else.
Sometimes, if she's deep in "luv".
D) there is some subconscious kind of warning as in this could happen to you too, for sure.
I think D is the most likely option, but not so much in that she's warning of a guy of things to come - but more so -
the chick likes to operate in silence - innately knowing that her silence will force some type of action. And by not stating what she wants plainly, she has wiggle room to pick and choose based on what you do.
So the mode and manner is actually MORE important than the particular meaning of any given message.
Patrice O'Neal had an example on The Black Phillip show where his girl asks him what side of the bed HE wants to sleep on.
- He picks the right.
- Then she says if he picks the right, she won't be able to watch the TV.
She could have picked the right side of the bed from the beginning - but that would put her in a position where he can say no to her. He has the power to decicde.
By talking about how she can't see the TV - she's essentially manipulating him after the fact to give it to her, to serve her needs.
There's some "guilt" and "why don't you think of me" elements of this behavior.
This type of behavior is manipulative, full stop. Whether she's doing it on purpose, is never clear, and they never want to make it clear. A lot of woman's power is in her unpredictability.
Personally, I think it's very rare for chicks are doing this consciously/intentionally - but they've been socialized this way.
So this type of "ask someone to do something for you" is default.
As an aside, many chicks amaze themselves by fixing simple things at home, because they've given away their own agency for the power to get others to do their bidding.
I see my mother do it to me and my brother (and my sister)
I see my sister, cousins, aunties, and grandmothers do it as well.
But men tend to operate differently. Or if a cat does this type of "hidden agenda" sort of maneuver, he loses respect.
... For the lurkers
This "look at me and look at my options" comes up a lot
How I think you should play it
- In the initial pull/pre-bang/just met the broad - it's flirting, don't take it seriously.
- If she's showing you Tinder matches - grab the phone and start matching these dudes out of nowhere. (right swipes are hilarious)
- You can also manufacture something where it looks like broads are banging down your door - and be like 2 can play at this game
- If she's talking about currents and exes - the dummy move is to think she's not into you.
- I like to call them on it with a smile.
- So why haven't they locked you down, must be something your hiding..
- Why am I so much better than all these guys you're not talking to
- Putting a chick into emotional reaction is the point of flirting.
- In the early stages of a relationship - it's usually some type of warning sign
- If you're deep into a relationship- it's almost always a bad sign.
We laughed at them together. All she did was go into "blocked". Not hard. Some of them follow her because she writes and try to holla.
