Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Claudex]

So, I met a girl in September at my school's FGC scene because we both play Tekken. Not long after we started talking and getting close. I had no feelings at the time, and just felt like she was a friend to me. This is important, this means that in your head she's a friend first. If you ever get confused about what y'all relationship is remember this part bolded in black ^. Then, she started to do all these things that basically said she liked me. There exists "To like" and there exists "To be attracted to", the only way to be sure which is which is to ask the person. One instance in particular is when she cosplayed as Josie around Halloween and showed up to the local with it on while I was playing. I sure as hell noticed it, and didn't know how to react. I really took it as nothing, then she started to show more signs like flirt with me, always talk to me on the regular, etc. I never noticed any of these until about last week, because I'm a dense fukker. At the same time, I had a little interest in her and was wondering if I could shoot my shot but never did because I thought I was out of her league. You clearly have self-esteem issues, which here just means you don't know yourself, so my advice to you is to avoid confusion by learning to have the balls to cut/see through the bullshyt. You'll learn more quicker that way.

So I tell some of my homeboys about all this shyt and every single one of them said that she clearly likes me if she's been doing all this. I was gonna say something about this, but fukk it. You're a young buck so I guess this is unavoidable. She's been over at my house a few times to play Tekken with me alone, and my roommates came home and saw and they even knew from there that she liked me. See you keep using that word and yet she never confirmed that to you, the only people that used that word were you and everybody else you asked BUT her! You see how immature that is? I hope so. So Friday, I go to therapy and talk about it to my therapist and she pretty much says the same thing that everyone else has been saying, but to ask her out or just ask her about her feelings. See how your therapist gave you the same advice I just did? Until you ask, you can't be sure of shyt. I walked her to work that same day and she asked me "So what do you see me as?" and I said a good friend, but hesitant and took it back to tell her that she's a girl that I'd date. You see how I bolded that part pink? That means that that's quite possibly where you fukked it all up. Hesitation and taking things back is the quickest way to lose a girl. Which is why you must always be honest with yourself about how you feel in regards to every girl that you deal with.So all of that pretty much confirmed everything that has happened up to this point, but she told me that she can't commit to any relationship right now, and any date she'd go on right now is nothing serious. I think there's something going on in her head making her feel like that, I don't remember what, but I know her only ex treated her like shyt and she's done things like tell me all the ways that she'd like guys to ask her out, told me things she'd tell her girlfriends, and other things. I pretty much accepted what she said and she said it'd be best if we remain as friends for right now. But, recently, I've started actually catching feelings for her. Okay finally you're being honest with yourself, so now you've got two choices. I don't really know what to do but wait. Wait for what genius? Just read my reply bellow the quote There's no other girls that pique my interest, and at the same time I don't actively chase after people because I stopped that long ago.

I'm just stuck... there's a mutual like here, but she isn't ready to commit. I don't know what else I can do here.

She isn't ready to commit, so you can either strive for:

1. Start a FWB's situation.
2. Ending the friendship because the moment you started liking her, the dynamic between y'all changed and if you keep pretending you just see her as a friend you WILL become an a$$hole/fukkboy to her one day. I promise you that.

 

[Claudex]

i agree with this one. This one nerd chick I posted about here seems to be withdrawing from me. I saw her yesterday and didnt touch her at all , soon after she wanted to leave and I started regretting not doing anything . I am not used to hitting on nerdy women cause they soft spoken and confuse me. Im used to rachet agressive hoe who I tongue down with the quickness because I can read their body language more easily

Part 1:

In my very humble opinion breh...
The best way to touch nerdy low-key chicks is usually by way of identifying and questioning the little things they've got that are unique to them, physically.

For instance easiest chicks to touch are tattooed/pierced chicks.

1st step - Get within touching range, it has to be a range in which your motion to touch isn't too awkward. Like an arms distance. This is also why you must always be wary of communicating at a distance with chicks you're interested in.
2nd step - Compliment the tattoo, or the nails, or the hair,
3rd step - As you're performing step two, here's the trick for step three:

1. With ratchet chicks your facial expression must show defiance, arrogance, 'idgaf' and just straight up finesse features. You gotta look them in the eye as you make a move.
2. With shy/soft-spoken/nerdy chicks your facial expression must show curiosity and like you're only paying attention to the feature you're complimenting AS your hand moves to inspect that specific body part. Don't look at them in the eyes as you make a move!

And as you're touching them you are asking reasonable and mildly-deep questions: "Is that an X tattoo? Damn this looks dope, first time I see one up close! It honestly looks a lot cuter/badass in person (this is where you look into her eyes)" "Looking at your hair, I thought those were highlights at first, but that's your real natural hair isn't it? It even feels nice. (this is where you look into her eyes)" "Do you always paint your nails with such details? I'm not much into nails but I can tell you enjoy having perfectly manicured hands and honestly that's kind of attractive (this is where you look into her eyes)".

With those types of chicks you need to use curiosity to get away with touching them, because it's the best way to disarm their thoughts about you just wanting to cross boundaries and touch their bodies. Whereas hood chicks want a dude who isn't afraid to cross boundaries.

4th step - As you're touching, be mindful that your touch is soft, gentle and that you touch a wide area of that body part. But DO NOT let your hand linger for too long. In fact if you can touch, let go and then touch again, that would be optimal. 10 seconds for a first touch is TOO MUCH! Stick to 5 seconds and let go, but stay close (hopefully you're smelling great so she definitely won't mind).

5th step - If you feel like it's getting uncomfortable give her distance. Find interest in something else, or go to the bathroom, or pretend that you just noticed the time and you gotta take her somewhere else.

Next time you touch her, compliment something physical (girls with dimples I usually touch the dimples and say "shyt, I really am a sucker for these." as I shake my head and do a little chuckle).

ALL OF THE ABOVE STEPS MUST BE PERFORMED AT A SECLUDED SPOT, OR A SPOT WHERE PEOPLE AREN'T ALL LOOKING AT YOU BOTH. ESPECIALLY STEPS 4 AND 5. STEPS 1 TO 3 CAN BE DONE IN PUBLIC, BUT YOU GOTTA FLOW AS NATURAL AS POSSIBLE.

It stands to be said that to follow this approach you already gotta present yourself as the kind of guy that pays attention to detail. Mentioning little things that you notice throughout the date so that when you finally get to touching them in their heads you're just being "attention to detail" guy.

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Part 2:

There's of course a small chance that as you execute step 2 and 3 the other side either flinches away or straight up asks you what you're doing! I say small because if she accepted the date then even at a subconscious level she wants to get touched. To feel the heat of your skin against her.

In these cases you don't jerk your hand back, you freeze it. Mention that you wanted to see the spot you were reaching for and ask her "can I?" all in once sentence. With the most natural look you can muster, as if it makes perfect sense that you would do that.

She now has two choices:

1. She let's you do it.
2. She says something along the lines of "I'd rather you don't".

If the second happens then you finally pull your hand back and apologize like this:
"Oh I'm sorry/my bad, my attention to boundaries takes the back seat when I get overly curious. " (use the "I'm so silly" laugh)
or...
"Oh I'm sorry/my bad, I'm honestly kind of bad with boundaries with people I'm actually interested in. " (use the "I'm so silly" laugh)

AND FINALLY START THINKING OF WAYS TO EXIT THIS BULLshyt ASS DATE.


TL;DR: Curiosity and just being natural about it is the key to touching non-ratchet chicks.

Edit: Spelling!!

 

[Reverie]

She isn't ready to commit, so you can either strive for:

1. Start a FWB's situation.
2. Ending the friendship because the moment you started liking her, the dynamic between y'all changed and if you keep pretending you just see her as a friend you WILL become an a$$hole/fukkboy to her one day. I promise you that.

I don't plan on doing that to her. She's a virgin and a good girl, plus she isn't about it.

I don't really plan on ending a friendship with her because we've grown close. I don't treat her differently even after I asked her if she liked me, it's just gonna fukking suck because feelings.
One thing I was suggested is to stop giving her a lot of attention because we talk like everyday, and just relax a little bit.

 

[Claudex]

I don't plan on doing that to her. (1)She's a virgin and a good girl, plus she isn't about it.

I don't really plan on ending a friendship with her because we've grown close. I don't treat her differently even after I asked her if she liked me, (2) it's just gonna fukking suck because feelings.
One thing I was suggested is to stop giving her a lot of attention because we talk like everyday, and just relax a little bit.

1- Again, how do you know she isn't about it? Have you asked her about it? You mention her being "a good girl", what does that have to do with her possibly wanting to get laid by you? Does she stop being a good girl just because she had sex?

Breh, I've fukked a virgin because she was tired of being a virgin in college. And yes she was a good girl too!

2- What you don't realize is that if "it's just gonna fukking suck..." (these are your own damn words) for you then it's gonna fukking suck for her too. So you're not doing her any favors being friends with her when you've just admit that you caught feelings.

You can talk to her only once a week, not like her fb/IG posts and hang out with her twice a month and your feelings are still gonna get in the way of your supposed "friendship".

Man, I was gonna use harsh words to let you know that you're making a mistake. But after putting some thought into it, I'm just gonna keep it 100 with you and say that, although it may feel like living with your secret (that you want to date her) is the best course of action, in actuality you're just delaying the inevitable.

You're putting the milk outside under a 70 degrees weather while expecting it not to rot. And all because you believe your milk to be somehow different.
But it's okay, you're young and these types of mistakes are to be expected. God knows I've made them too when I was your age.

 

[Mister_DoItNice]

I really wish you dudes would take the time to read through this thread and soak up the knowledge. The same mistakes repeat themselves and the same questions get asked over and over again.

There’s too much greatness in here being squandered.

 

[Reverie]

1- Again, how do you know she isn't about it? Have you asked her about it? You mention her being "a good girl", what does that have to do with her possibly wanting to get laid by you? Does she stop being a good girl just because she had sex?

Breh, I've fukked a virgin because she was tired of being a virgin in college. And yes she was a good girl too!

2- What you don't realize is that if "it's just gonna fukking suck..." (these are your own damn words) for you then it's gonna fukking suck for her too. So you're not doing her any favors being friends with her when you've just admit that you caught feelings.

You can talk to her only once a week, not like her fb/IG posts and hang out with her twice a month and your feelings are still gonna get in the way of your supposed "friendship".

Man, I was gonna use harsh words to let you know that you're making a mistake. But after putting some thought into it, I'm just gonna keep it 100 with you and say that, although it may feel like living with your secret (that you want to date her) is the best course of action, in actuality you're just delaying the inevitable.

You're putting the milk outside under a 70 degrees weather while expecting it not to rot. And all because you believe your milk to be somehow different.
But it's okay, you're young and these types of mistakes are to be expected. God knows I've made them too when I was your age.

Yeah, I've asked her. She's been pretty honest with me about everything, and there's a lot of things she hates about guys for some reason.

The thing is, she knows that we both like each other, and she's the one who told me to just remain friends. I could honestly get over her and just go back to not having feelings, or I could wait. I've been thinking about it and I've thought about it all being a waste of time to me. I value a friendship, but I'm just gonna keep my options open.

I've made mistakes in relationships before (I'm 21) and I'm probably gonna make them again. Lord knows what will happen. The whole thing in my mind is because my last and only relationship was just straight up toxic, I figured I could give this a shot but that most likely is NOT happening.

But yes, I agree, this could be a mistake. I'll learn from it if it is.

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

Books to read?

 

[Rev Leon Lonnie Love]

Books to read?

"The Blueprint" by Tyler Burden

Spoiler: link to beta version of the book

The Blueprint by Tyler Durden

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

"The Blueprint" by Tyler Burden

Spoiler: link to beta version of the book

The Blueprint by Tyler Durden

Thanks

 

[Jimmy from Linkedin]

While we are on the books tip, earlier in this thread, somewhere around pg 300 maybe i dont remember there was a book written by a South American woman talking about how the implicit feminization of men due to feminism. For whoever knows what I am talking about, could you quote that post again?

 

[FLYINHAWAIIAN]

It never fails. I get into a relationship and now every time we go out somewhere random women coming up to me lookin and hollering like

What is it with these broads?

I know the answer to it. It's what I been saying. Women want men who OTHER women find desirable.

Let us know what be happening breh.
Do they see you with ya women? This been happening with me recently but i aint been out and about with my woman. Its like women can sense when you're taken.

 

[Claudex]

Got new p*ssy.

Swish!

 

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

Let us know what be happening breh.
Do they see you with ya women? This been happening with me recently but i aint been out and about with my woman. Its like women can sense when you're taken.

Yeah we was out to dinner and this one waitress was being ridiculous. My girl went to the restroom to wash her hands and she was putting herself on Main street. She was being a little with my woman too but extra friendly to me.

Then there was another situation where my woman was trying some clothes on so I'm waiting for her to come out and again I got approached by this young thing. The waitress I was lukewarm on but the young thing in the clothing store is something that definitely coulda got it.

thing is I'm happy with my girl tho

 

[FLYINHAWAIIAN]

Yeah we was out to dinner and this one waitress was being ridiculous. My girl went to the restroom to wash her hands and she was putting herself on Main street. She was being a little with my woman too but extra friendly to me.

Then there was another situation where my woman was trying some clothes on so I'm waiting for her to come out and again I got approached by this young thing. The waitress I was lukewarm on but the young thing in the clothing store is something that definitely coulda got it.

thing is I'm happy with my girl tho

Same with me breh.
Whats crazy is my woman work with me and it be seeming like the other women keep trying me on purpose cuz they know im with her.

 

[Mister_DoItNice]

To my brehs who got back in the gym recently, how is your progress coming along? If it’s slow going right now, don’t worry. Stick with it. I turn 31 tomorrow and I look and feel like a completely different person than I was a year ago, in so many areas.

It all started in the gym. Keep pushing.