Zapp Brannigan
Captain of the Nimbus
I was going to put up a graphic story about the first time I had sex with someone I cared about
, but that's a little heavy for this thread. Instead here's this list:

- Macaroni and cheese from the blue box.
- Chocolate chip cookies from Costco.
- Hugging a fat girl. Seriously. It's nice.
- A really, really good pillow.
- Having a pet that loves you.
- A perfectly fitting suit.