wet landscapes
ghost
so I have a short vacation coming up out of the US with my gma and I'm debating whether or not to just stop spinning my wheels here in the US and just stay there until I get my mind right.
I screwed up my hours at CC switching my major several times and am being urged to transfer to a 4 year university. I cannot afford that and with my gpa, grants and scholarships are highly unlikely. It's terrifying. I've had my head in the sand for a really long time and now it's like I don't know anything about what I want and I can't visualize my future. I really feel like I'm not going to be able to snap out of this sleeping in the same bed every night, working at the same dead end jobs everyday, just seeing the same stuff. It's like even though it's coming, I can't feel the potential disaster thats coming if I don't do something. I mean, I can get sad over it and lament my laziness but I don't feel the panic or resolution. I mean, the time where I need to be able to financially support my parents is approaching and I'm struggling paycheck to paycheck. Forget a degree. I don't know what to do, man. All I can think of is to stay with my gma out the country and find a job and until I can afford school again.
I screwed up my hours at CC switching my major several times and am being urged to transfer to a 4 year university. I cannot afford that and with my gpa, grants and scholarships are highly unlikely. It's terrifying. I've had my head in the sand for a really long time and now it's like I don't know anything about what I want and I can't visualize my future. I really feel like I'm not going to be able to snap out of this sleeping in the same bed every night, working at the same dead end jobs everyday, just seeing the same stuff. It's like even though it's coming, I can't feel the potential disaster thats coming if I don't do something. I mean, I can get sad over it and lament my laziness but I don't feel the panic or resolution. I mean, the time where I need to be able to financially support my parents is approaching and I'm struggling paycheck to paycheck. Forget a degree. I don't know what to do, man. All I can think of is to stay with my gma out the country and find a job and until I can afford school again.
ckery.
