I’m coming down in the coming weeks. what’s a nice chill spot? hoes, drinks, game?
You coming to visit or are you relocating? You're coming from New York, right?
I don't know much about the nightlife but there's a decent lounge and club scene in both, someone else can probably expound better...
I don't know when the last time you've been here but the downtowns of both cities have really grown in options and amenities...
I've lived in Raleigh many years.
I've lived in Durham many years.
The truth:
Overrated, overpriced, and underwhelming = Raleigh
Underrated, overpriced, but meets expectations = Durham
Durham will always be a better fit for me personally because at least Durham has culture. It has, idk, soul. An identity.
Raleigh has no soul, no identity, and is full of tryhard culture. Tryhard nikkas. Tryhard cacs.
While Durham maybe dirtier, a little poorer, and more violent, those are the very things that molded it and gave Durham a soul. A pulse, so to speak. Something you can put your finger on and feel upon arrival. Durham people are far more genuine than Raleigh people. The city feels far Blacker than Raleigh does. And it it's Black history still lives on in the streets, in the buildings, in the street names, in the neighborhood names, etc.
Currently living in Charlotte now for the past 4 years and while it's bigger and more glitzy and glammed than both Raleigh and Durham, Charlotte is also just another overpriced, way overrated, and highly underwhelming city. It takes a while longer to realize it upon first arriving, but once you've been here a year or so and have began to get into the daily living, you begin to peel back the layers and the facade and you quickly realize this city has nothing. It's the most "wannabe" city I've ever lived in. It tries so hard to be one of the big boys but it will never ever reach that level, mainly because of the way it's built. But that's a whole nother long ass topic. Charlotte is just one big ass small town, charging big city prices, for small town fun.
Where are you originally from/where did you grow up? This was a harsh analysis

but maybe your perspective could be understood better by where you grew up...
I've had almost an entirely opposite experience than you in all of these cities;
RALEIGH
It is a bit overpriced for what it is, but aren't most places today? I don't think it's underwhelming nor overrated, because I don't have the expectation that Raleigh should compete in a class of cities that it doesn't belong in, IE, I'm not comparing what Rgh has/is to NY or Philly, or Pgh or Bmore....
For its weight class it's one of the best cities in the country. Raleigh has plenty of soul and identity, one of the most attractive things about it is its exceptional black history and the level of black mobility that is found here. It's a creative city that is low on violence which is rare for a city this size, and this black (~27% black). Respectably diverse, and economically we are doing really, really well here...
I don't get the tryhard part, where did you live when you were here? I live in Garner which is basically an extension of the Southeast, I'm all over The South throughout the week. I've been here 3½ years, and even before I came, I'd been here prior---->its an authentically hustling ass city. You gotta have some business about yourself here, and cats know how to find the money here. It's a city with black representation across many lifestyle areas, which I love. It's got a growing downtown...
What I don't like is that the city is more suburban than I'd like, bit that isn't a deal breaker nor surprising. The city is also highly segregated, most black people live to the east (NE x SE x East Rgh), and the city is overwhelmingly white everywhere else, so it is a place that you can't comfortably live in most areas. Many of the cacs here are also passive-aggressively racist, that subtle type, stay in your lane kinda racism...
Otherwise though, it has above average shopping and dining amenities for its size, one of the best public school districts nationwide (I have two daughters here so that matters), is mostly clean and well kept, solid weather, fun people. I fukk with it...
DURHAM
Durm is the overrated one of the two and the one cats should be worrying about, as they are gentrifying the fukk out of a city that today is ~36% black, but was over 45% black 20 years ago. It's also a city that remains with one of Carolina's worst violent crime problems which should matter to anyone black...
I will say Durm overall does well in black quality of life metrics nationally, because though it's wild for Carolina, it's not really that dangerous on a national scale which is an appeal all large NC cities have. For comparison, Durm has a 22.8% black poverty rate to a median household income of $38,840, compared to Rgh's 16% black poverty rate to $45,818 median household income...
Durham has hella creatives as well, and mobility in the black community. Durm is just too small for me, and I've grown weary of being in places with high black crime. It's also quite boring, I used to run thru for various reasons and the segregation between us and whites is even more pronounced than in Rgh...
It does feel blacker than Rgh because it is, but it's being gentrified more intensely and many of those historically black areas are turning Latino (Mexican/Salvis and other Central Americans). Durm has a pulse for sure, just not my flavor, and I don't think it has more of a pulse than Rgh. Just a different flavor...
CHARLOTTE
Charlotte is absolutely a major city, stop it

. I lived at South and Tyvola in my Clt days, and loved every minute of it. Less segregated than Rgh or Durm with just as much black history and representation (~34% black), scores well in all the relevant metrics for black people too, except in Clt, unlike the other two, you're getting bigger events more consistently, higher scale of amenities (shipping, dining, etc), isn't being gentrified as harshly because more black people are moving to Clt than the other two, creating new hoods of comfortability for us, and is safe as well by national big city standards...
It has big city infrastructure that keeps growing, I'd love to hear what cities you're comparing Clt to that you feel Clt is lesser than. Because in Clt's weight class we're talking very few, if any. It's a legit Top 20 American city and I'd move back in a heartbeat if it made sense to...
There’s a nice bar scene on Haywood cruise there and tell everyone you’re GD
Haywood Block

. Rgh is unique in that its a heavily gang-affiliated city but doesn't have a ton of violence. You sending him off quick though if he going to Haywood

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