let’s pretend you’re explaining how it works to someone who is completely clueless.
Your friend, not a sports person: “What are you watching?”
You, a sports person: “This thing called the NBA draft lottery.”
Friend: “Cool. Want a beer?’
You: “Sure, I’ll take a Miller High Life.”
Friend: [*hands you a High Life*] “So this NBA thing is to draft players?”
You: “No, because it’s not a draft, it’s a draft
lottery.”
Friend: “OK, so it’s a
lottery to draft players?”
You: “Kind of. It’s not a lottery to
actually draft players, it’s a lottery to determine
the order in which each team that didn’t make the playoffs gets to actually draft players.”
Friend: “But you just said it’s not a draft.”
You: “Right, because it isn’t a draft, it’s more of a draft for the draft.”
Friend: “You sound crazy. Are you on any meds that don’t mix well with alcohol? Like, should I be worried, are you high?”
You: “No, I’m not high, I’m just —” [*frustrated sigh*]
“OK, listen. The league puts a bunch of ping pong balls into a big air blower thingy. The balls have numbers on them, and teams are assigned four-ball combinations. The teams that were bad last season have more ping pong combinations in there than other teams, so that their ping pong balls have a higher chance of getting picked first. The order that the ping pong balls get spit out in is the order in which teams get to draft players. But only the three worst teams get to go completely by chance — after that, the teams just go in order of worst to best.”
Friend: “So you’re watching someone pick ping pong balls out of an air blower?”
You: “No, that happens in a room with a door closed. I’m watching them announce the order that the balls got spit out in after they get spit out.”
Friend: “Wait, so you don’t even get to watch the fun part? The ping pong ball part?”
You: “No. Can I have another beer? This is stressful.”
Friend: “Sure.” [*hands you another High Life*]. “So you just watch a guy read the order that the ping pong balls got picked in?”
You: “Yeah.”
Friend: “Why is there a representative from each team there, then?”
You: “I don’t know, to make it seem important?”
Friend: “Is it important?”
You: “Yeah, it’s literally the most important thing. Like, no basketball game I watched this year determines the future of a team more than this moment. My team could suck, but if we get a good draft pick, there might be hope.”
Friend: “Does this happen anywhere, like, cool?”
You: “I mean, this year it’s in Brooklyn at the Barclays Center, so, sure I guess. But it used to happen in New Jersey. Secaucus.”
Friend: “Why?!”
You: “Because that’s where league headquarters are.”
Friend: “So they made people from each team, some of them professional basketball players, go to New Jersey to
just stand there while some dude announces the results from ping pong balls you don’t even get to see?”
You: “Yeah.”
Friend: “Is this sports?”
You: “What
even is sports?”
Friend: [*shakes head, leaves the room*]
so true
You just know them executives contemplating life right now 
