New recruit got fired on his first day

benjamin

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:snoop:

we had a teams conference call today with all the new hires, each new hire has to basically connect their work laptop to the projector and present to the room what they have learned from their first week online training sessions. White guy named Braiden was up first, kid was obviously nervous so i hit him with the :salute:and said "you got this, be confident". he walks up front like :skip: and connects his laptop, the screen pops up on the projector and starts buffering, next thing we see is one of his internet browser windows flash up and he has "2 girls one cup" playing Loud as hell..i hit the :ohhh: becasue i been lowkey looking for that clip for years but couldnt find it..Braiden starts freaking out trying to close the screen like :damn:, his screen ends up glitching and it keeps repeating the scene where shorty spreads her cheeks and dookies in the cup...

My boss: :scust:GOOD LORD...BRAIDEN..WHAT IN THE HEAVENS

Braiden: :whoa: Sir i dont know how this happened, ive been hacked sir.

Me: (staring at Braiden) :stopitslime:

Braiden: (looking at me) NO SERIOUS BRO, IVE BEEN HACKED. :damn:

Asst Director Kim: :unimpressed:

My Boss: (closes his laptop and starts heading out of the conference room) :beli: Braiden, we will need to see you in my office today at 1pm, please bring your union rep.

Braiden: :damn:BUT SIR...THIS WASNT MY FAULT, IVE BEEN HACKED (scene still playing, now the girls are kissing with the dookie in their mouth)

General Manager: (nudges me) :ehh: (whispers) this is wild.

Me: :wow:(whispers) ima put u on after work big breh.(daps general manager under the table)'

Braiden: WHY ARE YOU GUYS LAUGHING AT ME, I SAW THAT HANDSHAKE :damn:

Me: (gets up and closes door to conference room-all bosses are out of room) Now look here u degenerate creh :ufdup: you better take full accountability for this, quit passing off blame and be a damn MAN.

Braiden: whats a creh?:ohhh:

Me: :wow:ah dats just a lil nicky name i came up wit...a lil sumptin sumpin i just made up u feel me :pachaha:Quit trying to change da subject tho nikka :mjtf:u see all dat dookie up on the screen? U COOKED CREH..U COOKED :pachaha:

Braiden: YOU SET ME UP :demonic: (starts walking towards me)

Me: (reaching for heat) Braiden, if i have to raise up..its gone be trouble trouble :dahell:

Braiden: :whoa: (sounds of pooping coming from his laptop)

Me: :hhh:stanky ass creh creh

My boss: (walks back into the conference room) GET BACK TO WORK PEOPLE :mjpls:

Braiden: (grabs pen off the table and jabs it in his neck, blood squirts and hits the boss in the face) :bryan:

everyone starts screaming and running out of the conference room, im staring at braiden like :mjlit:, braiden falls to the ground, blood flowing out...i stand over him and kneel down wit the :mjlit:

Me: (whispering) all this over some dookie? :what: Was the dookie tasty? u eat dookie? :wtf:

Braiden: :bryan:(life slipping away)

Me: (starts running through braidens pockets, finds $2 in his sock) :dahell: 2 MUFUKN DOLLARS CREH? (Slaps him with the 2 dollars) RECOGNIZE NIKKA (GIVES BRAIDEN A 2 PIECE AND A BISCUIT)

Janitor: (walks into conference room) :skip: ALL DE BLOOD NO ENGLISH, ME SPEAKA NO ENGLISH

Me: :gucci:brehhitto u understand me, nikka quit playing and mop up dis blood...and put da body in da coat cabinet

Janitor: :mjgrin: si senoir.
 

The BasedFather

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You dapped breh up under the table?
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