I'm already to start to gain some sense of normalcy back. Now that I finally failed in NYC chasing my art dreams, I feel like a weight is off my shoulder. I can breathe again.
I have a whole new appreciation for life. I miss my parents alot and my family. I'm going to try to spend as much time with them as I can. I quit watching sports but I'm about to get back into it and watch the rest of the playoffs with my father. For mothers day I'm going to take both of them to the cheesecake factory. I love them for their sacrifices. I appreciate them for always finding a way to take care of me even tho they never had much money. They gave up everything for me and I'm a piece of shyt because could I give up everything for another human being? probably not. It takes a special type of person to sacrifice their happiness and goals for another human being.
I'm trying to retool my mind. I've grown to be a ego manic and narcissist. A really nasty and angry person. I'm going to be every polite to people from now on and just take the high road man. If they slight me, fukk it I'ma just laugh and keep it moving. Just be the bigger person. alot of thank yous, sirs, mams, misses, hellos, more smiles...because in the end what does anger get you? I've learned it just eats away at your soul
About to get this CDL and try to be a driver. stack, hopefully go to community college of a welding trade unless art pick back up then ill just do that along with driving. . after i save about 20k I'm think about the south where its cheap and peaceful. I like warm weather anyway. I'm a tropical guy
I'm going to spend this summer the right way. first get my diet together. fruits, vegetables, water. No more social media and I'm limiting rap music strictly to the whip. (i like the bass) i don't want the toxic messages in my head. I enjoy jazz, 60s and 70s soul and old school hiphop instrumentals
I'm open to date but i don't know. I have a personality I doubt most modern women would be attracted to so if it happens it happens if not ill continue to just be frugal and save money to travel the world.
But i want to sop my hatred of women. They never did anything to me. It was all me projecting my insecurities on to them for my failures. That was a cowardly thing to do. The way to do this is get the fukk off the internet and ignore little shyt in public. Stop generalizing.
In my free time id like to work on art, reflect and read more books. Read as much as I can and try to not listen to any outside voices. I want my mind to be sharp as a razor and totally impregnable. Strong enough to melt a cylinder block. I want to write. But not of money or an agenda. Just write my life experiences as a passion. I enjoy writing alot. I enjoy it more than making art. Its so easy and so natural. To take the thoughts that you have and pen them from your mind for people to take in.
Its going to be hard to pick up the pieces this late in like because of the scars and baggage but I'm going to take it one day at a time. I'm like a recovering addicted. Having a ego is like a drug. But I need to remind myself I'm just a normal human being, I'm not special and to get over myself. I need to check myself.
I've learned in my life acceptance is key. My dad tried to explain this to me but I was too stupid to listen. He already figured this out but I never wanted too listen. You cant change the work, its going to do whatever it wants. So either you find inner peace or you get consumed with angry and slowly rot away.
I'm almost 30, its time for ACT2, going to try to make the second half count. Wish me luck and hold me accountable. Just have to keep these mental demons at bay.They co'me but Im going to fight them. Its going to be a long tough road but I'm going to fight. I have to. No choice.
I have a whole new appreciation for life. I miss my parents alot and my family. I'm going to try to spend as much time with them as I can. I quit watching sports but I'm about to get back into it and watch the rest of the playoffs with my father. For mothers day I'm going to take both of them to the cheesecake factory. I love them for their sacrifices. I appreciate them for always finding a way to take care of me even tho they never had much money. They gave up everything for me and I'm a piece of shyt because could I give up everything for another human being? probably not. It takes a special type of person to sacrifice their happiness and goals for another human being.
I'm trying to retool my mind. I've grown to be a ego manic and narcissist. A really nasty and angry person. I'm going to be every polite to people from now on and just take the high road man. If they slight me, fukk it I'ma just laugh and keep it moving. Just be the bigger person. alot of thank yous, sirs, mams, misses, hellos, more smiles...because in the end what does anger get you? I've learned it just eats away at your soul
About to get this CDL and try to be a driver. stack, hopefully go to community college of a welding trade unless art pick back up then ill just do that along with driving. . after i save about 20k I'm think about the south where its cheap and peaceful. I like warm weather anyway. I'm a tropical guy
I'm going to spend this summer the right way. first get my diet together. fruits, vegetables, water. No more social media and I'm limiting rap music strictly to the whip. (i like the bass) i don't want the toxic messages in my head. I enjoy jazz, 60s and 70s soul and old school hiphop instrumentals
I'm open to date but i don't know. I have a personality I doubt most modern women would be attracted to so if it happens it happens if not ill continue to just be frugal and save money to travel the world.
But i want to sop my hatred of women. They never did anything to me. It was all me projecting my insecurities on to them for my failures. That was a cowardly thing to do. The way to do this is get the fukk off the internet and ignore little shyt in public. Stop generalizing.
In my free time id like to work on art, reflect and read more books. Read as much as I can and try to not listen to any outside voices. I want my mind to be sharp as a razor and totally impregnable. Strong enough to melt a cylinder block. I want to write. But not of money or an agenda. Just write my life experiences as a passion. I enjoy writing alot. I enjoy it more than making art. Its so easy and so natural. To take the thoughts that you have and pen them from your mind for people to take in.
Its going to be hard to pick up the pieces this late in like because of the scars and baggage but I'm going to take it one day at a time. I'm like a recovering addicted. Having a ego is like a drug. But I need to remind myself I'm just a normal human being, I'm not special and to get over myself. I need to check myself.
I've learned in my life acceptance is key. My dad tried to explain this to me but I was too stupid to listen. He already figured this out but I never wanted too listen. You cant change the work, its going to do whatever it wants. So either you find inner peace or you get consumed with angry and slowly rot away.
I'm almost 30, its time for ACT2, going to try to make the second half count. Wish me luck and hold me accountable. Just have to keep these mental demons at bay.They co'me but Im going to fight them. Its going to be a long tough road but I'm going to fight. I have to. No choice.
Who hacked you breh?
But I think it's great tht you went after your dreams. What makes you think you failed though? What kind of art is it? & how old are you? If you're young you can try again.
