My Cousin Added His Girlfriend Of 4 Months To His Current, Savings and Credit Card Accounts....

Theraflu

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giphy.gif

:dead: at this gif.
 

Theraflu

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unless ur married and have been married for a few years


that is a dumbass decision and ur cousins deserves to get got


the fact that he doesn't want u to tell anyone else is evidence that he lowkey knows hes a dumbass and he doesn't wear the pants in the relationship

gotta take it back to the Ike Turner/Joe Jackson days when a b1tch knew her place and wouldnt suggest no dumbass sh1t like that for fear of u giving her the :childplease: face

n1kkas are that desperate of being lonely that they basically become b1tch nikkas in the process.

:whoa:
 
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Karb

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A fool and his money... :francis:

Ngl this story pissed me off at first.. then I realized that some people are just idiots and get what they deserve in life.

He's family to you so try to get him to see that he is being finessed and maybe get him to reverse this stupid decision somehow. He might get mad at you and even cut you off, but when shyt hits the fan at least you'll know that you did what you could to save his stupid ass...
 

Theraflu

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It's deeper than him being "in love" with this girl.

Dude is worried about turning 30 without having hit certain "life milestones."

You'd think it was only women with this anxiety, but nah. Lotta dudes out here think 30 is their expiration date too.
Its some :mindblown: shyt, but its a real thing, and I've seen it happen.

Since he's in finance, there's a logical brain in there somewhere that you can reach. But you won't reach it in a group intervention setting - all his defense mechanisms will be working overtime to keep him from feeling humiliated in front of others. He won't hear a damn thing you tell him, and it will probably end up ruining any chance of y'all getting through to him ever again.

You need to sit him down one-on-one and walk him through the risks he's taking vs. the rewards that he's anticipating.

Keep it logical and straightforward. Don't belittle his decision, or ask him how he could be such an idiot, etc. (even tho its mad tempting!). You want to be reaching his "work" brain, not his emotional side.

Risk vs. reward is something he'll intuitively understand.

Your goal here isn't to get him to dump the chick. That's too much of a reach for a first sit-down. You should aim to reach a compromise about how he'll display his commitment to her.

Give him realistic options - she's off the bank accounts, but he can (stupidly :mjlol:) purchase her something of value to display his commitment. Help him set a budget for that item.

Then go with him to the bank, and be there while he takes her off the accounts. Its the only way you can be sure. Find an excuse to accompany him.


:cheers:
 
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Don't snitch to his mom. Yet. He's in love and kept it secret; his family screaming at him will just make him shut them down harder and go all in. You have a close enough relationship that he would confide in you, and if you snitch immediately you'll break that trust in hopes that his family can do it. Do it as a last resort.

Take him out somewhere nice and quiet. Sit him down. Tell him, as seriously as possible, how this is a bad move. The worst case scenario is that this woman takes him for everything he has, and he loses all he's built and worked for because he was enamored. Don't clown him too much on him being in his feels - he'll resist you more. Tell him it's okay that he feels very strongly about her, but you still have to pace these things. He flips houses - he understands that to make a profit on such an investment, that takes time, right? He needs to wait for a good market, clean up the house, fix it and make it presentable - something worth that much can't become liquid instantly. He needs to treat his relationship with this girl like that. An asset with high potential upside if he approaches it right and builds it right.

What if she doesn't like him as much as he likes her? Hard to believe, yes, but it's hard to see these things when you're blinded by love. What if he does something wrong and she decides to be vindictive and 'punish' him by taking his money? Would he trust you, his blood, with access to all of his accounts despite knowing you for years? If no, then he has no discernible reason to let her have access. If yes, why don't you have access then? Because the trust and relationship you've built up with him isn't based, or contingent, on money. He can be popping 200k in his savings or be broke, but either way you'll still be his cousin and he can still trust you. And he should seek the same thing in his romantic relationship. If she suggests a joint account as a basis of trust, can she really be trusted? Doesn't that move go against all of his other successful relationships?

Tell him that you look up to and are proud of his achievements considering his circumstances. You saw him lose a father and take what he got instead and build it into something. And it would be a massive shame for him to lose it all on such a gaff. It's not a guarantee that she'll do that to him, but it's a possibility. A possibility with no recompense.

If he becomes more receptive, tell him to secretly make new personal accounts and move his money over. He can leave a small portion of it in the joint account as a show of trust if he likes - as something they can start off on and build on.
Do not tell her he's doing this; again, worst case scenario is that she takes everything in the small chance that she really is only with him for the money. Once he does that, if she asks, he can tell her that he doesn't want their bed of trust to be built on his income. It should be built on character, on experiences. If she's truly into him and wants more, she should respect that. If she doesn't respect it, and pushes for access despite not having done anything to earn it (or contribute), then perhaps she's not the woman he thinks she is?

I must stress to you that while the coli is right and your cousin is absolutely wylin, you can't take that approach with him. Whenever someone is shytting on you for acting up, don't you naturally wanna wyle out again just to spite them? If it dawns on him that perhaps he was hasty, cussing him out won't make him want to fix it faster. Instead, use the trust he's placed in you to guide him out of the simpin' place.

If none of that works and he's still adamant on keeping this girl on all of the accounts, then alert his mom and the rest of his family.



Good luck.
 

Turbulent

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On joint accounts legally both parties own money and all rights. He will need her signature to get her off. Its now her account too. She is legally allowed to withdraw any amount from it.
he could withdraw the whole amount and open a new personal account to put it back in. Unless they need eachothers signatures to make big withdrawals
 
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